Possummomma (aka, Atheist in a mini van).

Still here

2010-01-04T11:19:00.000-08:00

The kids and I had a wonderful Christmas break. :) We also managed to squeeze in a trip to the LA Zoo. Though we only lasted two hours (too many people, weird weather), we had a fun time. It's always entertaining to listen to P3 and P4 comment on the animals' behavior.

I'm still posting mostly to facebook, but I'll try to get back to posting here more often.

Observed

2009-10-24T14:10:00.000-07:00

My parents received the following flier on their door last week. The text had been reproduced in full (with the exception of the name and place of the church).

"Calling all responsible Christians. Please meet at xxxxxxxxx Church, located at **** ************ Road, on Friday, October 30, 6:00pm for a symposium on the true meaning of Halloween and Proposition 8..."

I love how they're throwing a "symposium" on gay marriage and Halloween, as if the two are in any way related, on the Eve of Halloween. If the kids and I didn't have plans, I'd go just to be a fly on the wall. Think I could pass for a "responsible Christian"?

Housekeeping

2009-10-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

Just for those who haven't found me, yet. I am on facebook. I'm not facebook proficient enough to start a pmomma page, but that might be on the horizon. For those who know my name and want to add me, that would be great.

The possums are doing well. P3 just turned 7 yesterday. It's hard to believe that when I started this blog, she was just a baby.

I ran into Jack Jackyll the other day and he's looking pretty good. Maybe I can convince him to start up the podcast?

The ACA has a cool interview with PZ Meyers available at their website. Check it out!

How are all of you? I miss being able to write for you and chat with you. Soon. Hopefully this will soon be back to a new normal.

Science in schools

2009-09-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

PZ has an interesting article on his site. It contains a map of the US, where each state is given a score based on it's public education commitment to evolutionary biology (among other things). California gets an A. This actually mildly surprises me. I guess it's because of where I live, in particular, but I see a backlash to this every day. Just this week, I had a discussion with another class-mom that illustrates this backlash.

I mentioned that I liked our middle school science teacher because she truly wants the children to understand biology. She really strives to get the kids involved in teh scientific method. This other room-mom, however, didn't take my enthusiasm for the teacher as a positive thing. She was worried. I asked why she was worried and she explained that she was glad she'd told her son, on the first day, to remember that he should "give the answer the teacher wants at school, but know in (his) heart the "real answer"".

I have to say that the discussion kind of petered out after that. I mean, what do you say from that point on that won't end up in meritless, go-nowhere back-and-forth?

Sadly, in this "A" state, that's a common sentiment in these parts. I don't get it. I suppose I don't have to.

Back in the saddle.

2009-08-31T21:48:00.001-07:00

Does anyone read here anymore?

Congrats

2009-08-30T20:33:00.001-07:00

Congratulations are in order for my friend Berlzebub and his family.

He's the proud new papa of two beautiful baby girls.

Pharyngula -v- Ham

2009-08-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

This post at PZ Meyers' place is gold.
The comments are a delicious bonus. Some of them have left my side aching and I'd like to share a few of my favorites...

Rev. Big Dump Chimp: "Now that we've brought out the sharp poking stick, when do we use the smashing rock?"

Lose the Woo: "...but since the whole "museum" is scientifically vacuous..."

Ham: But its got displays...really neat ones too. They proclaim the truth of the bible plain as day for everyone to see!

When Dinkum asks why Ham won't link to PZ, Warren says...They'll just drift over on floating mats of vegetation.

Humanistic Jones: As Chef taught us, if someone serves you and then you serve them back, then it's on. While PZ has twice served Ham today, does anything from Ham count for the technical definition of serving?

Camp Quest

2009-07-19T22:08:00.000-07:00

P1 and I are back from camp. Let me first say that the setting was beautiful. I love California Gold Country and this was no disappointment. The Yuba River looked so inviting. The trees and vegetation were green and dense. The history jumped out at you around every bend - culminating in P1 and I discovering one of the earliest cemeteries in northern California. I could've wandered around all day, but we had to get to the hotel room in Sac.

Our original plan was to stay with the kind folks at Quest/Ross on Saturday night. Unfortunately, P1 was (understandably) ready to be headed home. She wasn't feeling 100% and the cabin wasn't well ventilated. Next year - we're bringing fans! So sadly, we decided to head into old town Sacramento for the night. Where, one we got a cool room, a decent mattress, and a meal, she was feeling much better.

To Chris Lindstrom, thank you for putting on such an amazing camp! You asked us to think of things to do to make next year better and I have a list of things I'd like to help with. Let's get together and talk! Seriously! It was nice meeting you. OH! You can just call me about the check and we'll get that straightened.

To Terri = thank you for being P1's second mom. I heard so much about you on the way home!
To Brian = We will HAVE TO get together. Thank you for entertaining my poker shark for an evening. ;)
To Matt = You've done it! Great job! Would love to keep in contact with you.

Let's organize some central valley meet-ups for Quest!

http://picasaweb.google.com/bedellcl/Quest?authkey=Gv1sRgCL7F0tP21o-szAE#

more later..

Quest West

2009-07-16T09:38:00.001-07:00

The Sacramenton Bee has an interesting article on Camp Quest West.

I think the article gives the wrong impression of this camp. It's not just "an atheist camp". It's so much more than that. It's a camp for free-thought, science, logic, morality, ethics, and free expression. I'm curious why the author didn't stress those characteristics and stated missions of the camp?

If you really want an interesting read, check out the comments on the article.

Camp

2009-06-27T15:29:00.001-07:00

Here are some pics I took yesterday.

Lev

2009-06-25T12:18:00.001-07:00

Thanks, Lev! I normally hate using blogs as messengers, but I didn't have another contact method. :)

The Unit

2009-06-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

I read a neat book called "The Unit", by Ninni Holmqvist. I say "neat" because it has an Orwellian, Handmaid's Tale sort of skeevy-ness about it. The book is set in the future, though not the far off future. Perhaps a generation forward. The Party (government) sets up a system in which "the dispensable" (childless women over fifty and childless men over sixty) are placed into a Reserve Bank Housing Unit. All of their needs are met (food, clothing, shopping, movies, activities, hobbies, housing, and medical). In fact, their needs are met so well that most live more affluent lives in the unit than they did outside. This is partly because the government has turned the country into a purely economically driven economy where families are, supposedly, the most precious resource. They did this to ensure that the GDP would stay on an upward trend. Mothers and fathers have to split maternity leave. There's a law stating moms must return to work and the government subsidizes child care from six months on. Those who do not have children, as I said, are dispensable. They are seen as a drain on the economy when they reach fifty, under the assumption that they won't be working much longer and have no one to care for. They go to the Unit. The Unit sounds like a pretty cool place (having all your needs met and all) until you understand the caveat. While you're being pampered and have every available comfort, you also are used for biological and medical experiments. You're also used as a donor. At any time, you might have a cornea or kidney or other organ taken. These organs are given to the "needed people" of society. Ultimately, after a few years, you make your "final donation" (heart or lungs). But, what happens when a dispensable gets pregnant (because, yes,...you can hook-up as much as you want in the Unit)? The powers that be assume women over fifty are pre-menopausal or menopausal, so this is a rare occurence. But, what if? This is what happens to the book's protagonist. I won't ruin the ending, but it's unexpected and thought provoking. I highly recommend checking this out! I don't like fiction and I blew through this in a day. Let me know what you think.

Coming up.

2009-06-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

*A book review.
* Update and status report.
*Rant on talk radio.

How are you doing?

Goals

2009-05-06T21:57:00.000-07:00

This post is in the stream of consciousness tradition (wherein I will just keep writing whatever it is that enters my head, to be refined/defined later).

I need a goal. I just need some 1-2 year event to shoot for. So, what do I do then? I want to hike. I want to get back to that person I used to be before love/marriage/family took me to mommy-town. I want to free climb El Cap and spent a day getting lost in some backwoods Sierra creek. I want to meet people on the trail and learn about them. I want this part of me back so desperately and I have very little direction as to how to make that happen.

I want to hike the AT (Appalachian Trail) in March of 2011. I need to decide how that would be physically possible and what I can do to make it happen. How can a disabled person do it? How can I afford it? What about the kids? All of these questions need answering. But, I do have enough "faith" think they are answerable.

Questions? Queries? Want to call me a whack-job and ask why? Do it here. Thanks.

Pickychicky

2009-03-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

Pickychicky commented and asked for an update. She's right. An update is more than overdue.

I'm still gun-shy about posting too much on this blog. Certain people are eager to use anything said as ammunition. Apparently, there are friends of mine who still get flack and weekly inquiries about my existence. (frown)

The kids and I are plugging along. I still have majority custody of them and contrary to what's been posted elsewhere, there's been no justification for changing that.

I won't talk about Pdaddy. He is an individual in his own rite and should speak for himself. I don't understand his choices or his behavior. I can only speak for myself. I'm adjusting. It's really hard adjusting to life as a single mother of four after being with your best friend/life partner for almost a decade. I miss Mike: I can't lie. It's strange not having him around to talk to and I miss the relationship I thought we had. There are times when I really wish he was home. Then I realize that his actions prohibit the trust that's necessary in having that sort of relationship. I will say he's been very helpful with my latest hiccup.

I hurt my knee pretty badly. It's made life complicated.

The kids are adjusting. P2 is such a rock. I really value his contributions to our new family. He's been busy with drumline and scouts. P1 is a fourteen year old girl - focused on school and planning for the future. Having a teenage girl is an experience. P3 is dealing with the situation in the best way she can. She, rightfully and understandably, misses what was. P4 is my daily reminder that childhood is a gift and he takes up most of my attention. We're busy with creating new schedules and enjoying one another.

I've been trying to keep up with my friends online. It's difficult. There just aren't enough hours in a day. If you want to call me, that's probably an easier way to contact me.

I hope to get back into blogging (late this summer). I need to take care of other priorities first. I miss you all terribly. I hope you all know that. *hugs*

Labor and Delivery

2009-02-16T22:06:00.000-08:00

During my blog black-out, I've been conversing with a lady who is set to deliver her first baby any day now. One thing that keeps coming up in our discussion is pain relief during labor. I've had four deliveries resulting in live births (as near to term as I could get). The one common thread, in four very different stories, is that labor hurts. It hurts like hell. The only difference is the manner and location of the pain.

I do know some women who've done pain free births. One such woman reads this blog (Amy) and would probably share her experience with you. Another woman named Erin had a great birth story you should read (maybe she'll pop up and share a link). I know women who've birthed just about everywhere and I hope they'll join the discussion to share what they know.

What I do know is that any religious claim to pain is bull. It's true that the most ardent fundy will claim that labor pain is a woman's duty. But, to them I ask...what about the Biblical promise to Adam. God knows that, to create another, Adam must be put through great pain. To remove the rib from Adam to make Eve, Adam will be subjected to great pain. What does God do? He puts Adam to sleep. Read that again. God puts Adam to asleep to avoid the pain of bringing forth a new human being. Where, exactly, is the religious objection to relieving pain in child birth? I say that they don't have a leg to stand on. If God exists, he/she/it certainly expects us to use our wisdom to alleviate human suffering. If he doesn't, then I expect outrage over the women who get pregnant by non-religious piety in IVF clinics all across the nation. The religious right doesn't seem to object to the interference of man in that case.

Moving along - take the meds if you want them! Don't allow a cleric wearing a dog collar (especially an unmarried cleric) tell you that your fear of pain is proof of your lack of will. Dry that out and you could fertilize a golf course.

"What To Expect", while a wonderful series, has screwed an entire generation of women into thinking that a book can adequately prepare you for what labor will be like for you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAhahahah-ha-itty-haha! There's nothing that will prepare you for your birth. It is what is it is. Go with it.

Don't buy into the catty, b/s religious crap...
Scientology says "don't scream" or you'll imprint chaos and negativity onto the baby. Let me just roll the ole' oculars. *pause* I've seen men grunt while taking a six oz. shite on the toilet. I've seen a burly, manly-man groan when hefting a ten pound bag of lawn fertilizer up a slight incline. The truth is that humans react to pain by engaging in some noise making. Can you imagine what it would be like to watch a martial arts master blast through an I-block without his "Heeeyaaaaaaaa!"? Shoot. Go out in a blaze of glory, friend! You don't have to swear Kathy Griffin style, but a few "shits" and growls won't damn you to hell. I'd be willing to bet most people can't hoe a garden without a few oral celebrations or utterances...you think it's reasonable to pass a seven pound bundle of bone and muscle through your coocher without making a peep. Me thinks you're a bit to hard on yourself.

Don't fear the pain relief. No one is going to stand at the door to the hospital and demand a drug test before you leave. There's no special parking spot for "morphine moms" or "epidural wussies" at Baby'sRUs. Within ten minutes after birth, I'll guarantee you that no one gives two shoots about what you had to take to deal with your ordeal. They'll be too busy counting toes and asking about the consistency of meconium.

I've had the Douala's. I think they're handy. They're not healing incarnate and they're not a substitute for a husband, mate, or good friend who loves you. But, they'll do. Their sole duty is to hold you hand and cheer lead you on without actually involving Mylar and spanky pants. They move your favorite pillow and give you scalpel massages, totally understanding that that little hair on your head is a mental barrier for your baby's entrance to the world. It's okay!

You're right. Pain is generally there for a reason. That doesn't mean we accept that it needs to hand out for another eight hours to re-remind us that there's a big, wiggly barrel load of baby eyeing your snatch as it's emergency exit. I have yet to hear of a twenty year old who approaches his mom, joint in hand, who says "Yo, Madre! That teensy hit of morphine you hand when I was less than born totally primed my receptors for opiates. I remember how great it felt to be wasted AND wonder why someone was shoving my face into gazongas I'd never seen before." It just doesn't happen. It's no big deal. You'll make mistakes that really count later.

Just sleep well, great white mother. You won't be pregnant forever. :)

What's new?

2009-01-21T14:52:00.000-08:00

Questions from the ole' inbox.

Did you stop blogging? I miss your posts.
Short answer? No. Long answer. I have too much else going on to put blogging on any priority list. I know there are some rumors and innuendo going around that might deserve responses, but I don't have the time, nor the inclination. Information is on a need to know basis temporarily. I have four amazing, beautiful kids who have always come first and that won't be changing any time soon. I know most of you understand.

What did you think of Obama's speech?

I assume you mean the inauguration? I don't know. It was pretty typical. I'm excited about change for the country. I'm normally not a change for change's sake person but this change of power feels right. It's time for new ideas and strategies. It's time to regroup on policy and I think Obama will institute that reflection. I think he'll change what needs changing while respecting the things that are working.

Did any of your kids bite? What did you do because I'm out of ideas?

Every kid but P1 went through a biting phase. My response depended on the kid with the chomping habit. I think you have to really ask "why?" they're biting and work from there. Is it frustration? Is it pain from teething? Is it anger? Is it to cause pain to the bite'ee? Is the kid bored or do they want attention? Send me a private e-mail explaining the situation or comment here. I can't promise a speedy response but I'll look for it. Mostly just know that biting is common in preschoolers/toddlers. You don't see many ten year old kids who make a habit of biting so I promise you can handle this.

Where do you get your art supplies? You told me before and I can't find the link. Is it tempera that kids use for painting?

www.discountschoolsupplies.com is a good place for kids stuff. If you can't find it there, try Classrooms Direct. Tempera is for every day painting, on cheap paper. If you want to paint on plastic/clay/wood, I suggest acrylics at Michael's Crafts. Watercolor is another cheap alternative and easy to clean up, but it only works on non-glossy, woven paper. It runs on newsprint. E-mail me.

Where do you find baby corn?

In a can at the market. Try the canned veggie section.

One pan, Late Night

2009-01-07T22:57:00.001-08:00

I swear, the best cooking I do is when I'm trying to throw something together with five minutes on the clock. I wanted some thing warm and pasta-y without getting spaghetti meetballs or whatever. So, I put some shell macaroni to boil in one pot. I chopped up some left over olives and walnuts until they resembled a cracker spread. Meanwhile, I took some bacon left over from breakfast and nuked them until they were crispy. Opened a can of artichoke hearts in crushed a few of those. Threw in two slices of provo and a little blue cheese. Mix together and enjoy! I'm in heaven. Forgot to write the spices I used: bay leaves, basil, garlic, cumin.

The post that has to be made.

2008-12-31T09:26:00.000-08:00

Writing this makes me feel sick to my stomach, but new years mean new beginnings. Early this month, Pdad served me with divorce papers less than twenty-four hours before I had to be in court. He made early attempts to have the kids removed from my care with an emergency hearing. As far as I could see, his only reasoning was that my illness prevents me from being a good mom. He didn't win that hearing. Right now, we're splitting custody and trying to find new normals. I won't pretend to know why he's doing this and why he chose to do it at Christmas. I'm sure I'm not a perfect wife. I'm sure the last few years have been disappointing for him (dealing with the limitations of an illness, four kids, and the pressures of life). I've sat on this for weeks because I'm not proud of it and I know some will take pleasure in reading this. My kids had to be and will continue to be the first priority. Pdad did mention this blog (by the "Atheist in a Mini-Van" title) in papers with the negative intent. I need to use care with what is said here. If your comment doesn't make it through, please accept and respect that.

The possums are adjusting. Staying two days away is hardest for the little possums. Christmas was difficult, but we tried keeping our traditions as close to normal as possible. They had a good Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. :) A person I used to respect would always say, "take it a day at a time". That's what we'll do. This is going to suck, but it will make us all stronger people. There's no alternative.

I appreciated the e-mails asking if we were okay. I wasn't sure how to respond.

Here's to new years and friends.

Happy Holidays to All

2008-12-18T13:30:00.000-08:00

I hear you guys! Everything isn't okay, but it will be down the road. For the time being, I can't post much. I only want to wish you all a great holiday season! Have a holly jolly one!

The Pineapple

2008-12-06T01:18:00.000-08:00

It won. The pineapple that is.

When I was small, I loved pineapple and ate a lot of it. My mom was the queen of the upside-down cake. During Owen's pregnancy, I realized that pineapple made me itch. Over the last four years, my reaction to it has become worse than annoying. I know enough to know that allergies like this can get worse over time.

Pdaddy took the kids to Elephant Bar last night. I called him and asked him to bring me a plate of grilled shrimp. I also told him to ask about the ingredients to make sure there was no pineapple. I knew that they had some dishes where they used pineapple, but the menu said nothing about it for that dish. PDad asked and the waiter went away, came back, and said "no worries". Hubby brings it home, I eat about three shrimp and start on the veggies below. My mouth immediately tingled. Then I felt like it was blistering. Guess what was in the vegetables? Pineapple. Four large chunks and some yellowish juice. I took three Benedryl tabs and waited to see what was going to happen. In five minutes, I had a rash on my face and chest. My throat hurt really bad, too. I chugged children's Benedryl because it's liquid and hits the bloodstream faster (not to mention hitting my mouth directly). It seems to slow the reaction down and I planned to just watch it. I must've fallen asleep. At three, I found that I couldn't breathe at all. My throat was swollen bad. Moving air was getting difficult. I carry an epi pen for a bee allergy and I hate the pen. I stumbled to my purse and found it, jammed it in my leg, and sat on my floor waiting for it to work. It eventually kicked in enough for me to catch my breath and walk to where Mike had fallen asleep. Had to go to the ER to get checked out and they gave me IV meds. That doctor said I need to take my efforts to avoid pineapple farther.

Anyway, I know it's hard to be a waiter, but this isn't funny. Lazy is one thing. Putting a life in jeopardy is another. Elephant Bar is going to compensate us for our ER copay, thank Buddha! The corporate office is going to insist the franchsie go through extra training. That's more than I thought they'd do so I'm giving them a thumbs up for being responsible. The question I have is what's next? I had to be given a sedative last night because all I could think of was how often pineapple is on the menu in this town. If you have a food allergy, what do you do?

If you're happy and you know it...

2008-12-05T03:37:00.000-08:00

Jeebus, I've been pissing and moaning way too much here lately. You'd think that psychotic family members and rude friends were the only noteworthy things in my life. LOL Therefore...I deem this post a happy post. I'm starting a meme - What makes you happy? The rules are simple: list ten things you're happy about or thankful for. Tag ten people who you're happy to call friend at the end of the meme.

1. I'm excited about Christmas. P4 is very into it this year and his eyes gleam with excitement. He's figured out where I hide the gifts and since it took his sibs years to figure that out... I'm kind of impressed by his observation skills. :)
2. I finished an amazing book. It's called "A Blistered Kind of Love". The book is a journal kept by a husband and wife who hiked the Pacific Crest Trail. I love books that take me to another place and get my mind out of the house.
3. The re-arranging of the craft area is almost finished and the family room is ready for the tree to be put up.
4. My friend Vamp is back from Hawaii. I missed her. I'm happy she's home and had a nice vacay.
5. P3's garden is beautiful. Here it is, almost winter, and she still has amazing flowers. She's got a green thumb. I can see her garden from my computer and the huge clumps of white (baby's breath), purple (pansies), flaming pink (azaleas), and huge gerber daisies of all colors look like her canvas. I'll try to take a picture in the morning.
6. I found a great Christmas gift for Pdaddy. He's really hard to shop for so this, strangely, makes me ecstatic.
7. I watched the Great Escape yesterday. It's free on demand if you have AMC (American Movie Classics). If you don't', I would rent it. It's set in WWII: the story of POWs who tunnel out of a German camp. It's not a sad-free movie but I love seeing a young James Garner. If I were seventy, I'd hit that.
8. I'm grateful for the cold weather and early sunsets. Dark is good! Cold means busting out our sweaters and thick bedding. There's nothing better than lying in a cold room with only your nose sticking out from under the covers. The air just seems fresher on those nights. (Yeah. I realize how strange that sounds.)
9. I'm grateful for my fingerless gloves.
10. The smell of cinnamon and nutmeg make me happy.

Your turn.
I am tagging Vamp, Russell, Sean, Berlie, Calladus, Poodles, P1, P2, Anthro Amy, the Chaplain (from Apostate's Chapel). If you don't see your name, I still tap you.

Doomsday

2008-11-29T20:32:00.000-08:00

This is a continuation post (of sorts).

Let's talk about Armageddon/"Doomsday". According to most Christian websites, Armageddon will be the final battle between God and Satan - a theological Smack Down! Different religions and different holy books have varied accounts of what will happen when this battle begins, but they all seem to agree that during the war between God and an anti-Christ, there will be disease, suffering, fires, earthquakes, your "horsemen", and the scariest possible circumstances that the world would ever face. Fear, desolation, and epic terror will, allegedly, rule the day and the only thing that will save your butt is fighting on God's side (or doing one of any number of devotionals/pledges/statements of allegiance to a deity).

This scenario brings several questions to the surface.
* If God is all knowing, then Satan is an idiot. Would you go into a battle knowing that all of your moves will be known through your enemy's omniscience? Satan is said to know the nature of God. In some religions, Satan is said to be Jesus' brother (LDS). If you always lose, why fight the war at all?
* If God is all-powerful, why does he need thugs? Why does he need the horsemen? Which leads me to my next question...
*God must be a tyrannical arsehole. If he's all powerful and he's disappointed in humanity, then couldn't he just blink it out of existence? No muss, no fuss. If he created it all then he can un-create it all. But, no! Instead of exercising his power in this manner, he chooses to draw arbitrary lines in the sand and let chaos, death, disaster, and (if you believe the Bible) the most intense human suffering possible. Claiming that your God is a benevolent wonder while claiming that you believe in the end times is one of the biggest hypocrisies I can think of. These actions are not those of the most powerful energy in the universe. No. It's more like giving a two year old a collection of nuclear weapons and a biological arsenal and saying, "If these people don't choose to put you on a pedestal,...have fun!"
*I'm sure some people are reading this and thinking, "But...it's not that God wants people to suffer. Satan and man's sin will be responsible for the suffering." Ok. Then your God isn't the most powerful being because he can't snuff out Satan. Your God is also a royal jerk. "Eve" bites the apple and your all powerful deity decides that, because of this indiscretion, he will hold billions of people responsible? You'd think he would've created a poisonous apple if it's such a big fucking deal. If you eat the apple, then you die. Again,...no muss, no fuss.
*"But God wouldn't do that...he's giving everyone a chance." No! He's not! If he's all knowing, then he knows who is going to help his enemies or deny him. He's holding a terrorist threat over the heads of humanity and saying, "Choose me or subject yourself to eternal torture." That's not a choice. That's manipulative terrorism. Why not just say "If you don't choose me, you will be denied my presence. You'll just cease to be - no heaven for you." Why hell? Why would the all-knowing, all-powerful master of the universe need to create hell? This also brings up the issue of predestination. Did God allow certain people to be born only to suffer?
* Why would a perfectly just God allow infinite suffering for finite crimes?
* Why are the punishments and scenarios limited to only things that ancient writers would've been able to conceive of? Notice that it's the four "horsemen" and not the four guys driving hybrid cars. There's no mention of pilots vanishing from the cockpit of planes (ala Kirk Cameron's style of "the rapture"). There's no talk of AIDS. No mention of nuclear weapons or biological warfare. There's not even the mention of massive global warming or ferocious blizzards. Why? Because none of these events would've happened, or been foreseeable, to the writers of the Bible! If the Bible had spoke of four, evil mortgage lenders or evolutionists on Segways riding across the skies, then I'd give the Christian God a bit more credibility for being the all-knowing, all-seeing, prophetic master of the universe.

The concept of Doomsday/End Times/Armageddon is a purely human concept. It's about power. You take the people you want to control and scare them into behaving the way you want them to (need them to). That's all this is. Most people don't' want to die and/or suffer. It's that fear that can be the greatest motivator in human experience. Using that fear to gain followers is a joke.

I know I'm not the first person to ask these questions (and I won't be the last).

The Reason for the Season

2008-11-28T18:59:00.001-08:00

"Without celebrating Jesus, what is the reason for your celebration of the season?" - first Christmas card of the year note.

I got this card today from an old friend. She's known me for about ten years but only recently figured out I'm an atheist. When she found out, she didn't talk to me for a year. I understood her feelings when I told her, but I can't understand the fact that she can't accept it still. Actually, that's what she's said in her card, "I can't accept that you are an atheist..."

Here's the truth - I'm not asking her to accept it. Accept it or don't. Sending me snippy cards isn't going to change my feelings.

What's our reason for celebrating Christmas without Jesus? Easy. As I said last year, until a reputable authority shows me that the Christian Christ was actually born on December 25, this holiday isn't a celebration of the birth of Christ. If you say it's a symbolic celebration of his birth, then why is the date special? Why December 25th? I celebrate the fact that this time of year brings out the best in people (usually). I love it when I know every person in this house is busy planning little ways to make others feel good and loved. I love it when there's a holiday allowing my kids and I to sit down and paint ornaments for our tree or use clay to craft a keepsake for others. I don't need the holiday excuse, but it doesn't hurt. I celebrate the magic of the holiday as my children see it. P4 ran outside tonight and saw that a neighbor had put up lights on their house. He was so excited. P3 whispered in my ear, last night, that she couldn't wait to make puppy chow. The season is special because it's full of family traditions and rituals that we don't have at other times of the year. My reason for celebrating Christmas is purely selfish- I know my children will grow up and leave my side one day. Christmas gives me an excuse to pull them close and impart upon them all of the wonderful traditions and memories we've made. I get to spoil them with society's blessing. I also get to teach them about how special and privileged they are. I get to see their humanitarian sides grow with the understanding that not everyone has what they have. I celebrate Christmas for the construction paper chains, the time baking sweets with the kids, and the scene set before me on Christmas Eve when all of my babies are sleeping together in the living room in perfect peace with sweet dreams. The lights from the tree make the room glow in pinkish-orange softness, which reflects off their sleeping faces. All is right with the world in that ten minutes when Pdaddy and I watch them sleep. I celebrate their childhood and the child within Pdaddy and I. It's about love. Love is the reason for the season. Even if you're a Christian, your celebration of Christmas is a profession of the love you have for your savior. I love my family every bit as much as you love your savior and that's reason enough to drop the petty concerns of normal life and focus on the love around me.

Global Warming Explained

2008-11-19T22:20:00.000-08:00

P2 was telling me about a discussion in his social studies class. They were discussing the impact of global warming on farmers, especially in historically agrarian cultures. The teacher was sharing that ocean levels in India had risen and the global temperature change had resulted in changes to the cycle of cyclones (or something). I guess this boy put his hand up to argue that global warming wasn't real. The teacher, allegedly, told him that there were people who would agree with the boy's theory, but that he would like to know why the boy felt global warming was nonfactual. P2 says the boy said, the ocean rose because the "Christmas Tsunami" in 2004 pulled so much debris into the water that it was "like dumping boulders in your pool and blaming the spill over on global warming".

*I'll pause while you consider this.

The teacher tried explaining the size of the ocean and the flaws in the boys theory. Boy got angry with teacher. Teacher said that he would like to see where the boy got this information/idea from so that he can read-up on it. Boy tells him that people in Noah's time thought their flood was from global warming, too...or so says the boy's minister.

This is why rational people don't take creation science seriously.

The miracle diary.

2008-10-03T21:52:00.000-07:00

Stuff like this shouldn't bother me,...but it does. Basically, a diary kept by one of the crew members of the Space Shuttle Columbia was found two months after the crash in Palestine, Texas.

The diary survived extreme heat in the explosion, extreme atmospheric cold, and
then "was attacked by microorganisms and insects" in the field where it fell,
said museum curator Yigal Zalmona.
"It's almost a miracle that it survived —
it's incredible," Zalmona said. There is "no rational explanation" for
how it was recovered when most of the shuttle was not, he said.

Ok. I understand that this journal worked better than a fabled Timex ("takes a licking and keeps on ticking"), but that doesn't make it a miracle. It's no more miraculous that the hundreds (yes, hundreds) of mission manuals and hard copy paper reports that they found during the first year after the disaster. I liken this to the phenomena where you can have a tornado rip through a neighborhood and you come home to find a china figurine on the very shelf you left it on, totally untouched. It happens. It's cool. But, it's not a miracle. Miraculous would've been finding the crew members sitting in a Texas field alive and well the day of the disaster. Also, I'm no expert, but isn't paper pretty hearty? I mean, we've got paper that dates back thousands of years in some cases. Joe Citizen can buy special papers for scrapbooks and archival hobbies that stand up to the elements. And, I would imagine the ink was some "space aged" technology. You can buy scrapbook pens for $2 a pop that won't run or fade. Seems kind of silly to imagine NASA wouldn't have something similar or better. Why is this so "miraculous"? Saying there's "no rational explanation" seems pretty out there to me.
I've read a few articles discussing the nature of the shuttle's break up. Most of the discussions concur that the shuttle began breaking up after it went through the serious heat. Any journal would've been stowed in a bag or locker on an internal deck. Not on a luggage rack on top of the shuttle.

Yes. You can call me Captain Cynical.

Variety

2008-10-02T00:03:00.000-07:00

Good evening, friends!
I have a lot to catch up on.
1 - P3. She's doing well. Tomorrow we go see her surgeon for the post-op consultation. My only concern is that she's impossible to keep down and she looks a little puffy around the incision site. Her stitches will come out tomorrow, though. I'm sure she'll be happy about that (after they're out at least). She has received books, a toy, and a teddy gram with flowers. She's working on thank you notes, but I wanted to tell all of you "thank you" for being so wonderful.

There have been a couple of people who felt weird about my posting Grace's wish list (by request). If I've offended any of you, then I'm sorry. It really caught me off guard to hear that people found it offensive or strange. But, I think hearing this from three non-troll people deserves examination of the behavior. I'm not counting the vindictive trolls. These are regular readers who didn't think it was necessary. What is the "Mrs. Manners" rule on this? For what it's worth, I love giving gifts and helping people. I'll send cute pencil and pen bouquets for my friends or family who have kids starting school. I love buying baby gifts and stuff for my online friends. There are about six people on this blogs whom I randomly send hair bows that I've made or cards to. And, yet, I still struggled with posting that link because I do see that some would find it strange or make a judgement call about it. What do you guys think?

2. Sarah Palin. I've tried to avoid making politically based entries on this blog. It's not that I don't have an opinion. I just don't think it should be assumed that all atheists vote for the same party due to our beliefs. Atheism doesn't address politics. I had always felt like blogging about politics in an atheist blog would lend more credence to the talk in religious circles about atheism being more than a position on the existence of a deity. But, I'm breaking that silence because Sarah Palin rubs me all sorts of wrong ways. I'll break it down into note form.
A) Book banning. Sarah Palin tried to ban certain books about homosexuality from the libraries of Wasilla, Alaska. She claims it was a "policy discussion", but let's call a spade a spade: it's censorship. And, it's not even censoring for a good reason. Reading a book or fifty on homosexuality isn't going to turn little Suzie into a lesbian. This woman, who would be vice president of a republic with a constitution guaranteeing freedom of the press and free speech, had a librarian fired for not cow-towing to her bigoted perspective on homosexuality! The librarian wasn't trying to put "Debbie Does Debbie" on the Young Readers bookshelf. It wasn't pornography. On her list of "inappropriate books" were such titles as; Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson, Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman, Little Red Riding Hood by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee, and last (but not least), The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. The last being particularly ironic. "Bridge to Terabithia" is a house favorite! There's little in there that I could imagine as being controversial. The main character, Jess, is a Christian. But, the book contains a healthy dose of imagination. When did a book about two kids creating an imaginary nation of creatures while working through themes of social justice become a threat to children? Children work out their perceptions of the world by trying on different hats in play or creating their own Utopia. And, I don't care if Heather has two mommies - if happy families and stable childhoods are the requirement of children, then I think two mommies (or two daddies) is fantastic. What the hell is wrong with this woman and those like her? The book's not called, "Heather Has Two Mommies And So Should You." Little Red Riding Hood...?? What? Is the wolf considered to be trans-gender? And, so what if he was? To Kill A Mockingbird is a book that presents the nature of bigotry and racism in the negative light it deserves. How can someone be so opposed to letting children read about tolerance and the ills of hatred? Finally, the Handmaid's Tale. I would think that would be high on their list of recommended reading since the premise is theocratic rule in place of democracy. I think this is the ultimate in projection.

B) It's not just her closed-minded stance on literature that bothers me. I think she's ridiculous. Claiming that she was actively involved with international relations because Alaska is close to Russia may have carried some weight during the cold war, but even then I'm not so sure. The waters are protected by the United States Coast Guard and the US Navy. The borders are enforced by them and the United States Air Force. As far as I know, the State of Alaska isn't responsible for any major diplomacy with Russia. Unless she's negotiating the specifics of peace treaties between Russian and American crab boats, I don't know what she's talking about! It's not even like Russia has an abundant population in the parts of Russia that neighbor Alaska.

C) She's a young earther. Yes. Sarah Palin believes that man walked with Dinosaur because she's seen footprints of them together. Jesus Jumpin' Christ...I'm sorry, but if the potential second-in-command for the one of the world's super powers can't be bothered to go to Snopes for a little confirmation, then I don't want her running the country. Not to mention how colossally stupid it is for a leader having such a limited view of science. I don't trust anyone who might consider making Kent Hovind Secretary of Education (not that she has, but the odds it's not something I'd put past her).

Finally, I've been having an e-mail discussion with a fundamental Christian who wrote the following (after three months worth of e-mail exchanging):

"Why can't you respect my point? We can't agree
but you can try to respect that. Science doesn't tell us anything about
morality and that's why I can't say I want it taught in schools."

Um. *head desk* She's right. Science tells us nothing (or very little) about morality. Why? BECAUSE IT NEVER CLAIMS TO! But, saying we shouldn't teach science in school for this reason is beyond ridiculous. By this rationale, we shouldn't teach math, music, art, computers, photography, languages, or any other subject besides philosophy and ethics. If you want to limit your child's education to a two thousand year old book with concepts about the world being flat and a drunk who collects two of every animal on the planet, then I would say you don't value education at all. Why even pretend you do?

Duggar

2008-09-16T21:41:00.001-07:00

Erin!!!! This should make your day better.
http://www.ja20.com/

Sylvia Browne and Montel Williams

2008-09-11T02:11:00.001-07:00

I know some of you sarcastic folk are going to give me shit about this, but I swear I don't normally watch Montel. That being the case, while I was tidying up the master bedroom this afternoon, I grabbed the remote and hit power. The television was tuned to the channel that carries Montel's talk show.

Now, I'm not a Sylvia Browne fan. I think she's a fraud. More than that, I think she's a shameless manipulator. If you doubt this, then please read this. The widowed woman (we'll call her Jane) in the account is an old friend of mine. For those who don't want to read it, I'll do a redux of the issue.

Jane lost her mother to breast cancer when she was very young. It kind of haunted her because her she didn't get to say "good bye" before her mother died. More than that, experiencing something that traumatic in youth could lead you, in my opinion, to seek some way to change the reality of the situation. Reality says that your mom is dead and there is no way you can truly communicate with her. So, grasping at any straw is probably part of human nature. ESPECIALLY as a child.

Jane grew up. Went to school. And, finally met a fantastic guy who she ended up marrying. When they married, he was (I believe) training to be a firefighter. He received his first post just ten weeks before the attacks on 9/11. He died on 9/11. So, Jane is distraught. She considers suicide. She remembers reading the book by Sylvia Browne and, having seen her on television, decides that she wants a reading. She calls and they tell her Sylvia is booked for a year and that she should go to a class or reading to get an in. She blurts out that she can't wait that long or afford a bunch of lectures. She tells the scheduler that her husband died on 9/11. Well, this was the magic word! The scheduler promised her a phone interview with Sylvia post-haste and gave her a discount if she would allow Sylvia to use the reading in a book in the works. Here's where it gets interesting- Sylvia and she do the phone reading. Sylvia, after some cold reading, tells her that her husband "knew he was going to die" when he went "into the building". "It was his destiny." "He helped people down the stairs" before dying. One problem. Jane's husband died in a car accident while responding to a fire. And, he was far, far away from the attack sites. Whoops. Sylvia back-peddled and sputtered and then called Jane a liar who wanted to take Sylvia down. Thus...I think Sylvia Browne is probably one of the most repulsive people on the planet.

Anyway, as I was saying, I caught the show today. Sylvia goes on his show every Wednesday to cold read the audience and diagnose people with medical problems they do not have and are medically impossible, but...you know, it's hard to run a scam these days. *rolls eyes* Montel starts talking about two women who are haunted by dolls. After the commercial break, a video montage rolls and talks about two women who were given four "Aztec Incan sacrifice idols" (Sylvia's words) by a cousin who'd dug them up in Mexico. These idols are clearly very old and one wonders why these two women hate their cousin so much as to do a show that could get him arrested for smuggling antiquities from a foreign country. But, I digress...

The women put these idols in their living room and one idol starts "decaying" (Sylvia's word after seeing the video). Let's set aside the fact that non-organic matter doesn't really decay. One idol loses a foot. Over the next week, one of the women develops a horrible foot fungus that won't go away. How very Greg-Brady-v-Tiki-God! She goes to doctors who can't diagnose her foot rot. So, she decides that the footless stone idol is creepy and takes it outside...where she bashes it to smithereens with a hammer. Now,...if this were me and I imagined some hocus pocus of angry idols, wouldn't completely destroying it just piss the other three off? I would think your bad juju points would skyrocket! As time goes by, they bash another idol for some reason I didn't quite catch. They are convinced these things are terrorizing them and giving them bad luck.

Of course, they did have to fly to the studio for the taping of the show. And, they brought the two, evil remaining idols. WTF? If you think the idols are the cause of your bad luck, why the hell would you get on a plane with them? They sit in the audience with these things and ask all sorts of stupid questions.

In five minutes, Sylvia tells them they are "Aztec Incan" "sacrifice idols" that are "2000 years old". *boggle* Let's review our Mexican history, shall we?
* The Aztecs controlled Mesoamerica in the early 1500s, but they had only existed as a civilization for some 200 years.
* The Incans were in dominated the west coast of South America in the 1200s.
* The idols the women hold are not "sacrifice idols", but fertility idols.

So, one wonders how these "Aztec Incan" idols broke all physical laws of space and time to be in both places at once. And, one wonders why it would be a "sacrifice idol", as neither culture left stone idols with their sacrificial humans. Sylvia doesn't stop there, though. She then starts babbling on about the fact that these women need to banish the idols from their home, because "they're not worth anything. Just get rid of them." At which point, Montel jumps up with a hammer. He rushes the women and says, "Let's just solve this right now." and reaches for one of the stone idols. The women, luckily, aren't that friggin' stupid and one tells Montel that a local museum offered them "several thousand dollars for the dolls". Gosh! I'm so glad they're "not worth anything". And, let's hear it for Montel Williams - destroyer of ancient artifacts in the name of pseudo science! What a nimrod.

The stupid...it burns!!!!!!!!!!!
Sylvia Browne is an uneducated sheister.
Montel Williams is an enabler of epic proportions and all-around stooge.
Between this episode and my friend's experience, I'm amazed that this woman can appear in public without people stoning her. No wonder she never accepted James Randi's Million Dollar Challenge.

Missions

2008-09-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been absent in posting the last few days. It's been crazy around here. The kids are finally settling into this year's school schedules and P4 has started his first, real extra-curricular activity. He decided he wanted to take gymnastics with P3. I have to say - I loved it when P1 and P2 took tennis together for three years. But, I am *really* happy that two of the kids chose the sport *I* love. Tennis is Pdaddy's thing.

This story caught my eye, today.

Paul Rolly: Is dog cloner same woman accused of raping missionary?
By Paul Rolly Tribune Columnist

Call it "The Return of Joyce McKinney," or, perhaps "The Twilight Zone II." Is it possible that a former Brigham Young University co-ed and Miss Wyoming beauty queen charged in the 1970s with kidnapping and raping a Mormon missionary in England has resurfaced as the woman who made news this week for paying a Korean lab to clone puppies from her deceased dog's DNA? The owner of the newly cloned puppy, however, flatly denies she's one and the same.

The story of Bernann McKinney surfaced from Seoul, South Korea, earlier this week and ran in newspapers throughout the world. She is the 57-year-old woman who reportedly sold her house to raise enough money to have Seoul-based RNL Bio clone a litter of puppies from the DNA of her beloved pit bull, Booger, who died two years earlier.

When The Associated Press story ran in The Salt Lake Tribune on Wednesday, it got the attention of local filmmaker Trent Harris, who had done a documentary about Joyce McKinney, the woman charged in the missionary abduction nearly 30 years ago. He is "pretty sure" Bernann McKinney and Joyce McKinney are the same person.

I got a hold of Bernann McKinney, however briefly, Wednesday night when I called from my home to reach her during the daytime in Seoul. I got her mobile number from Hyung-Jin Kim, the AP reporter who had written the cloning story.

The first time I called, she hung up on me when I said I was a reporter from Salt Lake City. The second time, she said "Why are you slandering me," as soon as I identified myself and hung up again. The third time, I blurted out, "Are you Joyce McKinney?" She said, "No," and hung up again.

I called the AP reporter and asked if he had an e-mail address because she wouldn't talk to me over the phone. He said he had similar problems interviewing her, noting: "She is a confusing person."

Her reaction on the phone, the fact that she is the right age and apparently from the same hometown, and the similarity of the pictures of her now and of Joyce McKinney 30 years ago, suggests she is the same person. And Harris isn't the only one who made the connection.

So did the London Telegraph, but Bernann McKinney flatly denied to a reporter she is Joyce McKinney. "That's garbage; that's rot," she told the newspaper.

Joyce McKinney made international news when she was charged with abducting a Mormon missionary with the help of a male friend, and taking him to a hotel room where she forced him to have sex with her. She and the alleged victim had known each other at BYU before he left for his mission. She always maintained it was consensual sex.

Joyce McKinney made more news when she disappeared as the trial was under way and fled the country. British authorities eventually gave up trying to extradite her, but she was in trouble with the law again in Salt Lake City in the mid-1980s for allegedly stalking the missionary. She sued the Salt Lake City Police Department for false arrest and assault, but the case eventually was dismissed.

Wow...talk about not letting someone let go of their past. There has got to be more to this story. I realize this may come across as sexist, but how does a woman force a man to have sex with her?

Ex-Atheist Professor Now a Pastor

2008-08-31T16:31:00.000-07:00

Why is shit like this news? I don't get it. It's not like I write a little editorial every time a theist becomes an atheist. It's not that newsworthy. So, let's see what this article has to say, shall we?

A student ambled out of the University of Toledo's Driscoll Alumni Center
auditorium the other night and noticed a plaque on the wall that honors Dr.
Julian Davies, distinguished professor of chemistry and medicinal chemistry.
He turned to the Rev. Julian Davies, pastor of University Church, and said,
"Wow, look, there's a guy here with the same name as you!"

Ugh. $20 says this will be glurge in my in-box within two weeks. Any takers? Of course, by the time it hits glurge status, Davies will have saved an atheist student who was about to get hit by a bus or spit out a piece of bread during communion or something.

Mr. Davies said he smiled and said, "Yeah, that's a real coincidence."

What? That someone can read or that you're a scientist and a pastor at the school?

Truth is, Julian Davies the distinguished professor and Julian Davies the United
Methodist minister are one and the same person, separated by a few years and a
calling from God.

OMGZ NO! *rolls eyes* I hate to be cynical, but I'm going to be. The author of this article should go work for Focus on the Family. Already, we've seen a bunch of logical fallacies. I hate it when people have to use a huge set-up to make their point and this guy's doing it in spades. I get it. He's a theist who is also a scientist. Are they going to put him in a carnival freakshow and charge $5 to see him? That this is the cause for a news article sort of shoots their "well, there are a lot of scientists who believe in God argument" in the foot. For, if that were the case, it wouldn't be newsworthy. But, let's move on.

Mr. Davies, 53, a native of London, came to Toledo to teach chemistry in 1981
and moved swiftly up the ranks of academia.

Ahhhhhhhh!! England! Stop sending your smart scientists here. I think there's something in the water!

He earned full tenure, earned honors for outstanding teacher and outstanding
researcher, was named one of only 10 distinguished professors on the UT campus,
and served as an associate dean of natural sciences and mathematics.

"See! He's smart! REALLY!" *rolls eyes* If I didn't live with a professor, I'd probably be more impressed by the outstanding teaching and tenure. As it is, I'm not. That's your job! That he does it well should have no bearing on how we see him as a scientist. These are the same people who won't give Dawkins the time of day, but I'm guessing Dawkins has received way more accolades than just doing his fucking job! Do I sound angry? Perhaps. I'm sick and tired of the double standard.

In addition, Mr. Davies was a lifelong and rather smug atheist.

Who decided he used to be a "rather smug atheist"? Davies himself? Let me guess. It's a self-awarded description, rendered AFTER his conversion?

"My parents and the rest of my family, we grew up entirely outside the life of
the church. I had literally never been inside a church other than maybe a
wedding or two all the way through to my adult life - ever," he said in an
interview this week. "So I was an atheist and actually a pretty serious atheist.
I quite enjoyed baiting Christians about their faith."

NO! NO, NO, NO! Simply not participating in religion does NOT make you an atheist! Not participating in naked unicorn sex makes me an a-unicornist. Not going to a mosque doesn't make me anti-Muslim. That he uses this as part of his argument makes me pretty damn sure he has no idea what atheism is. His self-description as a "serious atheist" is hanging just as tenuously as his self-description as a "smug atheist." Engaging in debates with Christians about their religion doesn't necessarily make you an atheist.

But after 23 years at UT - two years before being eligible for retirement - he
quit his professorship in 2004 and enrolled at Asbury Theological Seminary in
Wilmore, Ky., where he received a master of divinity degree.

And? In addition to being completely irrelavent and stupid, that's an awfully long time not to vest in your retirement.

Today, Mr. Davies is an ordained United Methodist minister and pastor of the
fledgling University Church, which he founded to meet the spiritual needs of
UT's 21,000 students as well as alumni, faculty, staff, neighbors, and friends.

The path from atheistic chemistry professor to Christian believer and pastor did
not take a straight line, nor did the journey occur overnight.

So...he figured out that bilking theists out of their dollar to start his own church is easier than bilking a bunch of scientific boards out of grant money. I don't know that that's true, but it wouldn't shock me. If you got $10 a year from every parishoner, then you've likely doubled or tripled the salary of a professor. Perhaps he's not stupid after all? How does not going to church make him an "atheistic chemistry professor"? And, what the hell is an "atheistic chemistry professor"? Chemisty is chemistry. It has absolutely nothing to do with anyone's higher power or belief in God.

Mr. Davies, interviewed in his sun-dappled office at UT's Interfaith Center,
adjacent to the campus, speaks enthusiastically and articulately, with a
noticeable British accent.

Well, now that you've told me he has a British accent, he must be right.

He said the start of his spiritual journey began when he met his future wife,
Dr. Mary Kay Smith, a psychiatrist at UT's medical college.

AHAHAHAHHA!! Sorry. I shouldn't laugh. But, do you think they really thought about that line when they wrote it? It doesn't say WHERE he met her. "Doc...I've been a little depressed lately. I can has the Jesus?"

"Mary Kay had grown up in a little United Methodist church in Pemberville, which
was sort of the center of village life," he said. "And when we decided to get
married, Mary Kay always thought she'd get married in that church, which is
where her sisters got married. And I would have nothing to do with it. I said,
'Thank you very much but it's a deal-breaker for me. I can't do that.'•"

Wow. Not only was he not an atheist. He was also a jerk! How did that "deal breaker" not come up before they started planning the wedding?

The reason, he said, was that he felt it would be hypocritical for an atheist to
stand up in church and recite vows that meant nothing to him.

See above. I'm getting tired of repeting myself. And, what the heck does any of this have to do with him being a scientist?

"I felt the last thing we should do is go in and pretend. That seemed to me to
be wrong," he said.

And, here...ladies and gentlemen is where we know he wasn't an atheist. If he were, then standing in a church and saying a few words wouldn't have been "wrong". He would've had no moral judgement about it. What is wrong, in the atheist view, of standing in a BUILDING made by MAN and saying a few words to satisfy your partner? You're not doing anything wrong. This is akin to saying it's wrong to write to Santa Clause if you don't believe he exists. Or, it's wrong to go sit on Mall Santa's lap if you're an a-Santa-ist. It's not. You could do those things out of tradition or just to make your loved one happy. The desire not to get married in a church does not an atheist make.

"But I did make her a good counter-offer, though. We flew to Maui and got
married on a beach."
They were wed 22 years ago, and Dr. Smith said she
asked Mr. Davies if he would go to church with her on her birthday. He declined,
but went a week later

What a jerk! I'd go to Church with Pdaddy if he really wanted me to. He wouldn't even have to beg.

The couple attended Epworth United Methodist Church, a prominent, 1,500-member church in West Toledo.

"It was my first experience in a church and I can tell you, if you've never been
to church before, church is really strange," Mr. Davies said. "There are people
standing up and sitting down - the people know to do things at certain times and
you don't. It's very, very off-putting." Being an academic, he
said, he naturally had questions. During service, he tugged on the sleeve of the
man next to him and asked why everyone said "Amen" at the end of a
prayer.

Oh for the love of Christ!! This man got a degree in chemistry? He's an idiot! He grew up British for the love of all things non-holy! Isn't a morning prayer pretty standard in most British schools? My four year old, who's really never been to church, knows what "amen" means and why people say it.

"The person just pulled away and said, 'I don't know, we just do!' And I said,
'Well that's strange to do something without knowing why you do it.'•"

I agree. That's why it wouldn't make me a theist.

Another time, he said, he wanted to raise his hand and ask the preacher a
question during the sermon. The person next to him gasped and urged him not to
do it.

I agree. That's why it wouldn't make me a theist.

"On the way out, the same man said to me, 'You know, we do have classes in the
church for people who want to learn more.' … It had never occurred to me, having
never been inside a church before. I didn't know that churches had classes."

This guy is full of shit or mentally challenged. Not paying attention your entire life doesn't make you an atheist!

Mr. Davies signed up for every class Epworth offered, and read a stack of books
on every topic. "It didn't take long before people said, 'Well, you could
teach this!' So I started teaching classes." He was still an atheist, he
said, but "I was fascinated" by his studies. It opened his eyes to new views
of Christianity.

An atheist started teaching classes in a church program? So...it's not okay to stand in a church and say a few words to make your future wife happy, but it is okay to stand in front of a congregation of students and pretend to believe in what you're teaching them? Seriously - show me any church in North America that allows someone to teach without said person claiming to believe, at the bare minimum, in God.

The article is really long, but you get the general picture. You can go read it using the link. I'm going to skip down to the bottom.

"We were convinced that this was the right thing to do. I wanted to be able to
ask the sort of questions you don't ask in a chemistry lab, and to do the sorts
of things, interacting with students, that you don't do in a chemistry
classroom. And that's proved to be very rewarding," Mr. Davies said.

No sheet, Sherlock. Why would you ever have cause to bring up religion in a chemistry class?

Dr. Smith said that while she never anticipated her husband's spiritual journey
and his career path - or that she would be a pastor's wife - in retrospect
everything has lined up perfectly.

Why do I picture his wife as Mr. Burns? Exxxxxxx-celent.

Back log of questions...

2008-08-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hello all! I hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday. I don't know what happened this week, but I've got about ten loads to do this weekend. I'm sure you're all jealous of the relationship I have with my washer. *smile*

Ok. So...the last few months have seemed crazy around here. And, considering everything that has happened, it has been exhausting (emotionally and physically). Some of you have asked questions via blog or e-mail that I've either dodged or not had time to answer. Since I'm in between loads and the kids are all out-and-about...I'll try to answer as many as I can. Oh! I've been jotting the questions down in a paper journal, but I didn't write down names. Sorry.

What happened that made you go dark on the kids public pictures?
I still don't want to get into too much detail because of the nature of the experience. It's something I may never be able to talk about here. But, essentially, there was a boundary issue that was, once again, violated. Three such incidents in two years suggested to me that it was time to be less personal. On the heels of that, I began considering the rights of my children. I thought a great deal about their privacy. I mean, really...their lives were being displayed here and I'd never asked their permission. It felt strange. When I started considering it from their point of view, even though they've never expressed any negative feelings, I realized that I wasn't respecting their privacy as well as I should. Added to that, Pdaddy had concerns that I couldn't ignore. He is their father. So, even if I disagree with some of his observations and concerns, there's a point at which those disagreements become a matter of respecting your spouse/co-parent and not being right/wrong.

Turning Nancy and Thomas in was wrong. Disagreeing with you shouldn't make people fear a child services investigation.
I agree. And, I would hope that those who read this blog regularly would pick up on the fact that I've disagreed with many, many people over the last two years. I never called child protective services on them. The decision I made had nothing to do with Nancy or Thomas opposing atheism or the way I parented. I made the call because there was cause to do so. It can't be said enough: it was one of the most difficult choices I've ever made. I lost sleep over it. In the end, I won't ask people to agree (though many do and I appreciate that) with calling. I just want to reiterate that it's not retaliatory.

How's the window film during the summer? Did it work?
I think it made a huge difference! For one, moving around the house is something I can do without worrying. That, in itself, is liberating. So, yes...I think it worked. Thank you!

How is your lupus?
It's no better. But, with lupus, you get some odd cycles where different parts of the body crap out. Then, when you correct that part of the body, there's another part that goes wonky. It's frustrating! But, we're trying to keep tabs on it. I do appreciate e-mails wishing me good health. I try to respond to them via e-mail. Someone asked why I don't post them here more often and I don't have a set reason. I think I don't because posting them would turn the blog into something it's not.

Read any good books? /What are you reading now?/ Why did you stop the book list?
Yes. / A few things./ Life got crazy. :)

Any chance of the podcast coming back?
I think there's always a chance. But, it won't be the same as it was before. "Jack" got into some other things and had some major life changes that prevented him from being able to do the show. I would love to ressurect it. But, it did take a substantial chunk of time. I've spoke with another person about trying it again...with some changes, but there's still the issue of my home-bound state and putting together a quality podcast. If you have ideas, then I'm willing to hear them.
I will say this, though. There are many, many good atheist podcasts. At some point, I wonder if over-saturating the cast world is a good idea? Basically, we all have the same things to say. I would like to recommend a few great podcasts that I listen to. All can be found on iTunes or by googling the name of the show.
1. The Non-Prophets
2. The Atheist Experience
3. Skepticality
4. Nightline
5. NPR (various casts)
6. Pat Condell's Godless Comedy
7. Quackcast
8. Point of Inquiry
9. Skeptoid
10. This American Life
11. Plane Madness
ETA 2 I forgot to include
12. The Infidel Guy
13. PBS Now
The last is an aviation related podcast that I've developed a weird affinity for. :) Enjoy!

Are you on IM?
I have accounts with AOL and Yahoo, but I am rarely logged on. I'm afraid it would become a monkey on my back...and I already have four monkeys. E-mail is always a safe bet if you want to chat privately.

Respect

2008-08-29T03:08:00.000-07:00

I started responding to comments in my last post and, as I wrote, I decided I needed more space. And, it's something I want to discuss. I am particularly interested in how my respected theist readers respond to this.

Let's talk about "respecting religion". Sure. I know that some people have no problem reading the Bible, having faith, and remaining sane. It's probably the norm. But, when faith allows less sane people to flourish in their absurdity, we have to stop it. When everyone "respects" the abusive man who is "just following the Bible", it's time to get real. Nancy believed every word of the Bible that she read. She believed that her husband had power over her and that her role was to be submissive and obedient. Thomas had been told to lead forth a righteous family and, no doubt, some one pointed him to the passages in the Bible that back up the duties of a father.

Thomas, no matter how nuts we think he is, was following the mandates of the Bible. Wrong or right, the Bible justifies most of his delusions. So, if you defend the Bible, then you're defending him. The Bible says "spare the rod, spoil the child" (and about ten other justifying verses). If you see the problem with following those verses, then how can you defend the work as a whole?
Just how many awful verses of advice would the Bible have to maintain before you'd see that it's a book we shouldn't respect?

Atheist Brigade?

2008-08-28T23:57:00.000-07:00

I ran across this article today.
The Whiny Democratic Atheist Brigade
With a title like that, how could any rational person take him seriously?

If you are a Democratic convention planner, you've got to be pulling your hair out trying to deal with something like this: the party's bend-over-backwards attempt to show that it's friendly to religious people is making left-out atheists boo-hoo-hoo.
Let me get this straight...we, as atheists, are not entitled to ask a potential president to elaborate on comments which effect us? And, while I've seen a few posts regarding Obama's comments, it's not as if this was the biggest issue in the atheist blogosphere. Don't we have an obligation to question the thoughts and words of our potential leaders? If Obama had said that religion should be checked at the door, then you can bet your ass the evangelical, fundamental Christians would be burning crosses on his lawn.

Never mind that the Democratic Party is already strongly secularist. This extremely petty complaint reminds me of the time seven-year-old Your Working Boy complained to his parents that there was a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but not Children's Day. You know exactly what Mama said: "Every day is Children's Day."
If they are "strongly secularist", then why would they be pulling their hair out? His analogy sucks, too. How many theists have we read about, or seen, who believe that their religious beliefs justify the inclusion of religion in all aspects of life? How many have complained and whined when a secularist (or moderate Chritsian) suggested that they already have an entire day a week set aside to their bullshit in some states. What the hell are the Blue Laws if not a "Christian Day"? Every Sunday is "Christian Day" in those states!

Just so. In the Democratic Party, every day is secularist day! Cut Obama and the DNC some slack -- they're right to do this kind of outreach.
Thereby negating his original premise for the article.

This guy also proves his bigotry by assuming every atheist in the United States would be democrat. I'm sure that there's a higher number of democrats than republicans in secular America, but there's no atheist dogma that says you can't be politically conservative. This guy's just too stupid to realize that.

---------------------------------
Yes. I know they deleted their blog. I received an e-mail that I would love to post, but I'm afraid the subject is getting old.

Poss Pic Privacy

2008-08-25T04:00:00.000-07:00

I think I have, at least, a temporary problem solved. Linked from this blog will be a protected entry blog where I will post as I once did in LJ. To gain entry, you have to mail me your e-mail address (that will be your pass key).
So...if you want to be in this first group--- please e-mail me (you can find it linked from the profile page) and in the subject line write: PicPossums. Then, you will have to prove who you are and how you know us. If you don't get straight in approval, it may mean that I need to have my husband come in and help me figure out if we can add you. I suspect it won't happen to frequently. Thanks!

Snopes Is Your Friend

2008-08-24T02:10:00.001-07:00

I feel like I'm running behind on everything this week! School started earlier than normal this year. Pdaddy and I were discussing it and decided we don't like it. Not that that changes anything. It makes the summer really short for us because Pdaddy is on a university schedule (last day in mid-June). With the kids going back so early, we only had seven weeks of concurring vacation. But, the kids are happy with their schools and teachers. And...I have to admit this weird quirk: I love the way new clothes make a room smell. If I could can that scent (that and new car scent), then I'd be one happy camper. :)

I have an acquaintance that sends me glurge (christian e-spam). She's not even a friend. She got my e-mail off of a group e-mail from another friend (which always seems very desperate to me). Anyway, she sent me this gem and I wanted to jam a spork in my eye.

I love that our leader will take time out of his schedule during wartime to witness. In Christ - Jamie
There is a man in our church, Jeff Benoit, who has a friend who served on Pres.
Elect Bush's campaign in Austin, and she called him to tell this story.
Last week, Gov. Bush appeared at the thank-you banquet for his campaign staff, and
was going table to table to shake hands with the 1000+campaign
volunteers. He got to one lady, who by a brief comment she made,
indicated she was a Christian. She was there with her 16 year old son.
Gov. Bush asked him if he was a believer, too. He said he didn't think so.
Gov. Bush then asked, "Do you mind if I tell you how I came to know Christ as my
savior?" The boy agreed, and Gov. Bush pulled up a chair and witnessed to
him for 30 minutes, and led him in the sinners prayer!
Jeff's friend was so choked up, she could hardly tell the story through her tears.
Yes, my dear girlfriend, we are living in the end times. How glorious to know that
our new president is a man that doesn't feel the political pressure to glad-hand
1000 people, but would take 30 minutes of his precious time to lead a teenager
to Christ.

*spork spork spork*
Ok. For one, George Bush hasn't been "president elect" in seven years. Do people who chain mail this crap actually read or try to assign veracity to this crap? Second, I don't know how Bush supposedly did this "during wartime" during his presidential campaign. Do you? Third, if he did take thirty minutes to witness to some teenager during a state occasion during war, it's not going to give me warm fuzzies. Doesn't he have better stuff to do? Like, oh...I dunno'...clean up his mess! Finally, it took me all of two minutes to Google this and find that it's on Snopes. It's totally fabricated. Not one true statement in the entire thing, but...eight years later, it's still making the rounds. This is why no one takes the religious conservative party seriously. Between this and the staunch attachment to the "fact" that "Obama is Muslim", it's clear that these people are NOT concerned about reality. They want to tie crap up in cute little Jesus bows and build upon the lies by interjecting their own introduction.

I wrote her back. I asked her to take me off of her list. That's it. I didn't say, "You're full of crap and so is your story." Just, "Please take me off your spam list." She wrote back saying, "WELL EXCUSE ME. I AM SORRY FOR SENDING YOU A POSITIVE MESSAGE DURING SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME FOR AMERICA."
Oh yeah,...all caps. *spork*
Must. Fight. the. Stupid. Must. Not. Write. Back.

Truth and lies.

2008-08-21T22:09:00.000-07:00

I want to thank those who e-mailed me (to point me to the NPZ post). I wasn't feeling well today, so I probably wouldn't have seen it as soon if it hadn't been for your e-mails.

On that note, I know many of you saw his post. In some ways, I'm glad that he posted the post he did because it made it possible to discover how he seemed to know so much about our family. Back in 1999, I started a livejournal that was dedicated to my children. At the time, I only had P1 and P2. The letters were my attempt to put their history on paper as it happened. I also wanted them to see why I made certain choices. And, I've found that time tends to change our reasons for doing what we do. Hindsight is 20/20, after all. It was important to me that they knew the truth of their lives. I didn't have that advantage and, still, to this day, I don't have answers or insight regarding childhood events.

So...I made the journal. On the eve of my wedding to PDaddy, I wrote a note to P1 and P2 explaining why I divorced their ex-PDaddy. I said a variety of things in the note. One important point, to me, was that they knew that despite any of the bad choices I, or my ex, made, they were not us and should not see genetic relationships as a harbinger of their future. Particularly because my ex was unfaithful and other negative character attributes: I did not want P2 to think that he was "cursed". Some people may think that's odd, but... it was necessary. My ex repeated, almost action for action, the actions of his father (abandoning his children for good, leaving a wife w/children in financial ruin, and cheating). At one point in our marriage, my Ex-MIL had said (about my ex-Husband), "His apple didn't fall far from the tree." I thought that was a horrible thing to say and it made me wonder if she had a part in his self-confidence when it came to marriage.

I also wrote the letter as an apology to P1 and P2. They didn't choose to be born. And, in some ways, I still feel like I let them down (with regards to my first marriage). I got married out of a feeling of obligation to the Catholic Church and P1. I thought marrying my boyfriend would make him a good father. Of course, that's not how it works. I apologized to them because I knew he and I weren't ready for marriage, but I didn't stop it. But, at the same time, P2 came out of that marriage. I wouldn't change that for the world. P2 doesn't remember his bio dad. He was so little when we split. P1 remembers. So, as a sign of respect for her especially...I let her decide who to share these things with. I never, ever, ever will say bad things about their biological father to them. And, posting about him brings temptation to do so. That's why I avoided it. (For the record, she gave me the okay to share what I'm sharing right now.) Pdaddy adopted them legally and has been their father always in all ways. He is their daddy. And, our life has been wonderful. But, on the eve of our wedding, I wanted them to know that I was marrying Pdaddy out of love, as opposed to marriage out of obligation and wished that they would marry for love and choice (someday).

NPZ (Thomas) bastardized this letter. He tried to claim it was proof that I "trapped" ex-Pdaddy. Nothing could be further from the truth. But, more intriguing than his lack of understanding was the fact that that letter was PRIVATE. It had never been a public letter. EVER! And, in fact, only twelve people knew about that blog and had access to read it. This meant he had to know someone who had access to that blog. As soon as I realized that, I realized that I knew exactly who he was. His sister-in-law was one of my first friendships on LJ. She had access to the letters blog. Because I posted in it rather infrequently post 2001 (when I moved to a paper-pen journal for this purpose), I had forgot that some people could still read those letters from the past. His sister-in-law was LIVID when I started this blog. If you go back to my earliest entries, you'll see that part of my reason for starting this blog was an effort to keep my LJ friends from being constantly offended. She and I got into a huge internet argument and parted ways. Apparently, she holds some grudges. When I posted about Quiverfull families, she pointed her brother to this blog and fueled him with ancient information. I'm stunned that any one would be that perturbed almost two years later.

It appears that NPZ deleted the post. But, I want everyone to know why he deleted the post. See...once I recognized how I was connected to him (by an ex-friend), it struck me that I knew some dirt about he and his wife. Nancy's sister was a gossip. One memory was the post where she discussed her sister's (Nancy's) shot-gun wedding and birth three months post honeymoon. Another was a post regarding his problems with taxes. Starting in 2001, he evaded paying them. He claimed that, as a minister, his house should be tax exempt. He was also selling motivational tapes without recording the income. Another, perhaps more concerning story, included Nancy calling the cops on his for a domestic dispute.

He's no angel. He's a hypocrite! I wasn't going to post these little tidbits. And, in a way, I'm going back on my word that I would not post his short-comings if he pulled the post. BUT, being the arrogant ass that he is, he sent me the following e-mail before deleting his post.

"I got forgiving blessing from God about those things. Share them and you'll have egg on your face cause I am about truth."

I took that as permission. So,...how's the egg on my face looking?

Christian Dating and News

2008-08-20T00:18:00.000-07:00

I'd just like to take a moment to thank the joker who signed me up for a Christian dating site. I know you probably thought it would piss me off, but I think it's funny as hell. It was priceless receiving a plethora of e-mails from "good Christian men" who asked such innocent questions as: "What cup size are you?", "U sounds kool.", and (my personal favorite) "I like a woman who keeps the Bible on her nightstand. I find her faith a major turn on." Little tip, though, Trolly McTrollerson - when you pay for my account with your credit card, I get a copy of your name, cc number, and identifying information. Way to go, Einstein! ROFLOL

Somehow, I stumbled across an article about Kirk Cameron in the Modesto news. Did you know he was "AN ATHEIST TEEN IDOL"? Gee...I don't remember reading that in Teen Beat. In fact, I'll give someone $10 if they can send me an article from the 80's in which Cameron claims his "devout atheism".

Cameron recently released a memoir, "Still Growing," in which he describes his
transition from an atheist to a Christian husband and father (he married
"Growing Pains" costar Chelsea Noble). He recently spoke to Beliefnet about how
becoming a Christian changed his work on the show, why God may have removed "His hand of blessing" from our nation, and the best--and worst--ways to share the
gospel.

He wrote a memoir? Ego much? From everything I've read, his "salvation" turned him into a real asshole on the set and the other actors couldn't stand him. I mean, let's be really honest: the Left Behind movies weren't worth writing home about.

And, does he or does he not sound a bit like Fred Phelps? God may have removed his hand of blessing? Just out of curiosity...which hand is the hand of blessing and what's the other hand called? Who has the blessing if this nation lost it? I beg to differ that God has removed the worst ways to evangelize because The Way of the Master is still being shown on a computer near you.

Egyptian Septuplets

2008-08-17T14:16:00.000-07:00

Suck on that, Jon and Kate! An Egyptian woman (who already has three daughters) decided to take Clomid in order to have a son. Now, before I get into my High Order Multiples (HOM) rant, let me point out some problems with this birth specifically. What doctor decided it would by hunky dorey to give Clomid to a twenty-seven year old, who conceived three children naturally? Beyond that, what sort of Svengali gives Clomid to a family whose income is between $4 and $8 USD a week? I'm thinkin' that it was tough to feed the three girls they had before on that amount. Now they've added seven mouths to feed! Of course, an agency has stepped in and promised them enough milk, and diapers, for two years. Beyond that, one supposes, they might be screwed (if it weren't for the corporate infatuation with HOM). And, so...the international cry has gone out and I predict that these babies will be the only kids in Egypt wearing BabyGap and drinking JuicyJuice until they're eighteen.

I love children. I love babies. Perhaps it's because I love them so much that HOM births make me angry. One thing that makes me angry is the hypocrisy of it all. Every HOM born is guaranteed to have theist parents. These parents didn't pay that much attention to "God's will" when they were infertile. Oh, hell no! They were taking Clomid and self-injecting growth hormones and progesterone, in the hopes that doctors could use an ultrasound machine to guide pipettes and syringes in to harvest eggs from the ovaries...at which point these eggs are fertilized under a microscope and shoved back in the uterus. Fast forward to that first u/s that shows seven viable embryos. "You want us to selectively reduce our babies? How can you ask us to do that? We have to trust God's will and have this litter!" *head desk* You know, note to HOM parents...I would be able to take your faith more seriously if it weren't so arbitrarily applied.

At birth, HOM parents will proclaim that their two pound "infants", who are living by virtue of more medical technology, are miracles. They will try to sell the fact that they loved these babies so much that they couldn't give up on them. What you won't hear is that those children will suffer. Not only were women not meant to have litters, but...babies weren't meant to be born at 26-30 weeks. I'm a NICU mom. For as many times as nurses would try to tell me that my baby was feeling nothing, I know it was bullshit. This is why they ask you to leave the room when they drop an NG tube down your infant's nose. This is why they don't change IVs and/or vent tubes in front of you. In HOM, the problems snowball. It's a guarantee that one of those babies will have a raging infection. It's likely that all of them will have breathing problems and a life long need for a nebulizer. It's likely that one, and often more, will have serious physical and mental disabilities because of their prematurity. Yet, this couple will be turned into martyrs by the theist media and Christian public. These people will hold them up as paragons of virtue and faith. "Weren't they so trusting in the Lord?" No. They trusted in science and medicine and technology. Only when it came down to the decision to selectively reduce did they invoke religion and the will of a deity. In my opinion, there's no compassion involved with having HOM. Rather than give one or two infants a chance to thrive and be born at term, they choose to make six or seven suffer. That's bullshit.

And, if they all make it out of the NICU, they become an attraction. Look at how bad this has become with the Gosselins. Those kids are in front of cameras 18-20 hours a day. Their parents have chosen to sell the children's dignity for cash. They quit their jobs and live off the backs of six innocent kids. There's nothing admirable about that.

/end rant

"I want to live in a van, down by the river..."

2008-08-15T17:20:00.000-07:00

"It's my Future! I want to be an engineer. Sex can wait!"

Yes, because we all know that sex never takes place in a dorm room. What if you wanted to be a gynecologist? Would sex be okay then? I mean, I think it's only fair that we give our teenagers a list of jobs that you can't do if you don't wait to have sex. Of course, he doesn't say how long sex can wait...

Kidding aside - What the hell? I'd love to hear the rationale behind this. "Yes, Billy. It's true. Sex rots your brain and you will never be an engineer if you're a baby daddy." What's wrong with saying, "I want to be an engineer. That's why I'm going to use...*Have Trojan man crash through the side of the billboard like the Mr. Kool-Aid*!" Sorry...it's hard to be serious when there's so much stupid.

HAT TIP TO AMY

Chinese Gymnastics

2008-08-14T22:12:00.000-07:00

I know this will be the most off-topic post ever, but I can't NOT say something. Gymnastics was a very large part of my childhood. To this day, smelling a balance beam (it has it's own aroma) makes my pulse beat faster. And, I'm insanely joyful over P3's decision to do gymnastics. P4 wanting to take classes almost caused me to swoon! J/K

So,...I take the sport seriously. When I see articles like this, I get annoyed. Dan Wetzel, Yahoo Sports reporter, writes about the "Sour Grapes" reaction of Bela and Marta Karolyi. He even calls Marta "Martha", which irritates me in ways it shouldn't. Anyway, Mr. Wetzel thinks it was wrong for the Karolyi's to protest the inclusion of three Chinese gymnasts who are very likely underage. In some sports, I would agree. Age shouldn't matter. But, it does in gymnastics.

Wetzel says, "The Chinese had figured out how to upset their gymnastics dynasty, churning out these little athletic machines, perhaps so young they couldn’t even sense the pressure of the moment."

Actually, the Chinese were coming into these games with no talent. They've been struggling to pull together a good team for a few years now. Whereas, the Karolyi's have created champions since the 70's. However, the Chinese girls in question are unknowns. One is experiencing her first international competition and it just happens to be the Olympic games. That just doesn't happen. Show me any sport wherein the athlete has their first competition in the Olympics. It's not about the pressure, it's the knowledge that these girls came from nowhere.

"What kills the Karolyis isn’t that the Chinese would risk the health of their
children by throwing them out here before their bones and muscles mature. It’s
that the Americans won’t allow the Karolyis to do it, too."

Absolutely! The Karolyis have done it before, as this writer points out with Nadia. But, that was before a rule change. That was before the INTERNATIONAL gymnastics community decided that maybe it wasn't such a great idea for thirteen and fourteen year olds to permanantly damage their bodies with intense training for a year in the limelight. The rule didn't evolve from arbitrary observations. When you put a young girl (ESPECIALLY between 12-14) in elite, Olympic training schedules, they usually end up in injured...or dead. I can give this guy a list of gymnasts who illustrate this quite well. Training at Olympic caliber in this age range causes the body to loose calcium uptake in ways that dog the girls for the rest of their lives. However, if you hold off on that training for a year or two, the girl's body doesn't seem to have the same problem. Raising the age of Olympic gymnasts lowered the number of girls who were irreparably damaged. Contrary to what Wetzel claims, the Karolyis helped drum up support for the age restriction.

Here's the thing...if I were a non-Chinese gymnast, then I'd be pissed, too! Contrary to Mr. Wetzel's assertions, there is no proof that at least one of the gymnasts is 14. Nine months ago, she was registered in a competition sanctioned by China's national gymnastics body as a thirteen year old. Furthermore, newspapers recorded the same thing. There was no correction from the papers or the government. So...what is more believable: a country like China falsifying some documents (like a GOVERNMENT ISSUE passport) or at least ten sources getting it wrong? Remember, the Chinese team was painfully thin on talent. What do you do when your eligible girls aren't looking so hot and you have a system wherein you're grooming kids beginning at three? You go to the next in line. And, what do you know? There are these three girls who are amazing. They're also relatively unknown which makes the scam easier. I'm not trying to say that they're not gold medal caliber. They're fantastic. But, what the hell is the point of having rules if one country gets to flaunt them?

Here's the hard truth - lighter and shorter people fly higher and rotate faster. It's basic physics. It is a definite advantage to be small. That's why you don't see six foot tall female gymnasts. Perhaps more advantageous is the fact that a thirteen year old will be easier to con into lying because she has been told her family will be negatively impacted if she doesn't go along with the sham. Wetzel needs to bone up on his Chinese gymnastics "legacy". Part of that legacy includes taking kids from their parents at three and putting them in a gymnasium, sometimes, a thousand miles away. The parents get an annual bonus and the kid gets high end medical care and a steady diet. That's huge in China. So, yeah... do you not understand that that's leverage with younger children? The younger the child, the easier the effort to convince her that not playing along will hurt her family. Still think this is sour grapes, Mr. Wetzel?

I'm not surprised that the American gymnasts were gracious and good sports. They recognize good gymnastics when they see it and they knew they didn't do the best they could've done. It's not their job, though, to worry about how the rules apply to everyone else. THAT is the coaches job! What part of that do you not understand?

The Karolyis have been training champions since before you were born. They've molded hundreds, if not thousands, of little girls into gymnasts. But, you know, as a reporter, you must be more qualified to judge the age of small Chinese girls. Right. And, just for the record, the American team isn't the only contingent to bring this up. Though less publicized than the Karolyis, almost every delegation has caught on to the potential scam. It doesn't take a genius to know that we're going to hear it from American judges when you're in America and the coaches are gymnastics royalty. They're not perfect, but they know what they're talking about.

Nancy Survey Part 2

2008-08-14T00:30:00.000-07:00

*Sigh* I really need to lower my expectations. I've been told, by many who know me personally, that I'm too willing to trust people. I like to think the best of humanity. I'm not naive; I know that the world's inhabitants are far from perfect. But, still...I'll give people the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason not to like them. Such is the case with Nancy and Tom. This survey by Sharon Parsons exposed their true colors.

Note: Sharon Parsons has read this blog for a while. I know her only from her comments, but she's never given me a reason to think that her request was anything but innocent. After speaking with her via e-mail, she feels like she opened a can of worms and is sorry. I don't think she has anything to feel sorry for. I chose to do the survey and no real harm came of it.

So, why the post? Nancy held her cool until she read the comments to my post. She decided to leave the following warm-fuzzy:

"Nancy
said...
1. I want to ask why your answers are about your daughters instead
of all your children. You say as a mother you want your daughter to be
independent with good character but not your son. Independentness can be a bad
problem. How can she meet her match if she is focusing on being alone with no
partner. Who will she marry? 2. Man and woman were created with different
purposes but here you say he is the same which is good. Men need power because
that is what God gave them. It is why marriages based on the Bible work since
you can't have two people who want control or you fight over everything. I trust
God to put my needs in Tom's heart which never fails to work. A good husband is
inpowered with spirit to see the family needs. 3. Why did you stop with four? I
cant help see that you didn't have more after being an atheist. Atheism is the
right thing right so why not have a whole army of atheists to continue brining
the message of atheism to the world. I see that this is God telling you he won't
bless you with children to go against him. Do you see? 4. Are you afraid of what
happens if you put morals in the classroom is that why you hang on academics for
your family? We learn much through the practice of forgiving and confessing. I
think secular people want to know everything which is impossible to do. Some
things have to be said I don't know let's give this to God. 8. God means to you.
You oppose him so he does mean something to you. Be honest okay. I was honest
when I answered. Saying that God means nothing to atheists is a lie. 11. Your
child can murder and you'll love them the same. I don't believe that you would.
The best love is to be careful with love so it can't be used."

Via e-mail, she claims that (since I knew Sharon vaguely, that this was a set-up). Tom is livid. I'll be sharing an e-mail from him at the end of this post. First, I want to respond to some things Nancy said.

I want to ask why your answers are about your daughters instead of all your
children. You say as a mother you want your daughter to be independent with good
character but not your son. Independentness can be a bad problem. How can she
meet her match if she is focusing on being alone with no partner. Who will she
marry?

I think you're misunderstanding me. As a woman, I think it's particularly important to be a role model for young girls and young ladies who will be the the women of the future. I want the same things for my sons. But, as you've pointed out without meaning to, boys and men seem to be taught independence from a very early age. Example: when teen aged girls cry, no one blinks. When a teen boy cries, there's a stigma. Why should it be that way? Why not advocate a healthy level of emotion AND independence for both sexes? I completely disagree with your observations about independence. What problems can possibly arise from feeling confident about your ability to be who you are without a spouse? Or, being financially independent? I want all of my children to marry for love. I want them to be equipped to offer their partners a full person. Then and only then, when you are a fulfilled individual, can you ever hope to maintain a solid marriage. My daughters, like my sons, will marry who they choose. And, if they don't want to marry, then that's perfectly acceptable. I'll trust their judgement.

Man and woman were created with different purposes but here you say he is
the same which is good. Men need power because that is what God gave them. It is
why marriages based on the Bible work since you can't have two people who want
control or you fight over everything. I trust God to put my needs in Tom's heart
which never fails to work. A good husband is inpowered with spirit to see the
family needs.

Biology "created" us with different purposes physically. But, there should be no mental/emotional/intellectual difference between the sexes. Such differences are the product of culture. Case in point - you can't fathom being equal to your husband. Why? I would hazard a guess that this was what you were taught as a child. It has nothing to do with "creation" and everything to do with socialization.

Reading this paragraph makes me feel ill. I hope you don't take this as condescension (that's not my intent AT ALL); but, I feel bad for you. When did your self-worth become attached to giving a man power? A decent and compassionate man does not need any power from their wife. They will share "power" willingly. I feel as if you're suggesting women give up their voice to make a man happy. Do you not see how damaging that is? Do you honestly want your daughters to be controlled in this fashion? What happened to you that made you accept such a passive position? A "good husband" or a "good wife" will anticipate the needs of each other. If they can't anticipate those needs, then one hopes that they will talk openly about what needs are left to be filled?

3. Why did you stop with four? I cant help see that you didn't have more after
being an atheist. Atheism is the right thing right so why not have a whole army
of atheists to continue brining the message of atheism to the world. I see that
this is God telling you he won't bless you with children to go against him. Do
you see?

Why did I stop at four? I'm tempted to say that I stopped at four because I didn't want five, but that seems dismissive. I stopped at four for health reasons. And, if we're going to be honest about this, we almost stopped at three. P4 was a glorious and joyous "oops!" But, after his birth (with all the complications), I knew that it would be incredibly selfish to have another child. I have a responsibility to the children who I have already birthed. As for the atheist army, I think that's scary as hell! Are you, in a round-about way, suggesting that you have six (almost seven) children because you wanted to add to some sort of christian militia? That's a terrible reason to have a child. It's not their job to carry out the religious jihad of your dreams. It's similar, in my opinion, for a couple of gymnasts to have a kid and force the kid into gymnastics because they didn't get the gold metal at the Olympics. A child should not be born with a job! Consequently, I would never have a child to make sure theism had one more opponent. As to your statement about God not giving me children after I came out on my atheism, that's crap! I had a freaking hysterectomy. But, since you threw it out there, if your God can knock me up without ovaries or a uterus, then I'll have a child to add to God's army. If he could do it to Mary, then he can do it here.

Are you afraid of what happens if you put morals in the classroom is that why
you hang on academics for your family?

No. I'm afraid of whack-nuts like you recruiting for God's army in the classroom. Morals and values should be taught and nurtured in the home. The purpose of education is to get the child to a point where they can use academia to put their morals and values to use. You can't cure cancer by sitting in a corner praying about how God never gives you more than you can handle. You can, however, have high odds of solving these illnesses by having a strong, supported foundation in the sciences, math, communications, and keen observatory skills. I "hang on academics" because education is something we highly value!

We learn much through the practice of forgiving and confessing. I think secular
people want to know everything which is impossible to do. Some things have to be
said I don't know let's give this to God

Give it to God. Where should we meet God? Does he have a Blackberry so we can formalize the plans to give *IT* to God? Oh, wait...that's just me being one of those pesky people who wants to receive answers to questions. I don't want to know everything. In fact, I think knowing everything would be a perpetual bummer. That said, what do you mean by the phrase "giving it up to God"? To me, it seems like a lack of passion on your part to educate yourself or seek out the answers.

God means to you. You oppose him so he does mean something to you. Be honest
okay. I was honest when I answered. Saying that God means nothing to atheists is
a lie.

I'm being totally and completely honest when I say, "You. Are. Wrong." How could you possibly know what God means to another person? When I say, "he means nothing", that's exactly what I mean. I realize that other people feel differently, but God means less to me than does Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, or Leprechauns. I don't "oppose" God. I don't believe in him. That's a different perspective entirely. Do you oppose garden fairies? Are you creating an army of fairy haters? (I realize that last statement has a double entendre, but I'll leave it).

11. Your child can murder and you'll love them the same. I don't believe that
you would. The best love is to be careful with love so it can't be used."

First off, I highly doubt that my children are going to be come murderers,...just as not all schools turn into Columbine. You fear a great many things that are unlikely to ever happen. Why? If my child ever "murdered", then it would depend on the circumstance. I'm not going to say what I would or would not do because I can't see that ever happening. But, I do know that I would still love them. You don't erase someones childhood when they commit a crime. My loving my children is not contingent on how well they do or how much they disappoint me...it's unattached to those emotions. I'm very, very sorry that you don't understand that. Actually, I'm very sorry for your children, if you don't understand that. Do you have any idea how crippling it can be, as a child, to feel like your parents' love is something that can be pulled back like a fishing lure?

So...here we are. Now it's time to share Tom's e-mail.

"Possum Mama, I didn't start the noposszone for you to bring my wife down,
she is pregnant for God's sake! If you feel sorry for her at all you'll
stop sending your godless friends to get her. Deal with me from now on or don't
talk to us."

I don't know about the rest of you, but my irony meter is pegged out.

To Tom: Let's get real, shall we? YOU create a counter blog. YOU, with no interruption from me, keep this blog for months. You tell the world I'm a horrible mom with absolutely no grounds to claim such things. A third party sends a parenting survey that reveals the depth of dysfunction in your home and you're pissed? Whoa!

Here's the thing, Tom. I *do* feel sorry for your wife. Not because she's pregnant or reading responses to her "answers". I pity her because she has been hosed by your religion and your ego. She loves you, and fears your god, so much that she's willing to be a puppet on a string for you. You could kick her like a dog and she'd defend your right to do so. That makes your manhood a joke! I don't respect men who rule over the families. I don't respect men who get their power from a two-thousand year old book that had a bad copy editor on multiple occasions. You're not a bad husband because you're a Christian. You're a bad husband because you try to bully women into line. SINCE your wife is pregnant (and upset), why don't you go take care of getting dinner on the table or offer her a back rub? If my pregnant wife were upset, then I wouldn't be on the fricken computer!

Quiverful -v- Atheist

2008-08-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

Nancy, from NPZ, e-mailed me about an e-mail she received. I received a similar e-mail. Here's the text of the email I received. She claims to be waiting for me to fill this out before answering. Weird.

Hello from the Parsons family! I'm Sharon Parsons. I've watched
the drama between NPZ and your blog and have questions I was hoping you
could both answer. I am a moderate Christian who likes to keep an open
mind about what other people believe or feel about religions. Let's
try this. If you fill this out we will have a better idea about who you are.
I will ask Nancy the same questions by e-mail. We may find common
ground or we may find debates.

I've gone in circles about doing this. For one, I really don't think I need to defend my parenting anymore. I have four great kids. I have no idea how they will turn out after all is said and done. Then again, Possum#1 wants me to do this because she thinks surveys such as this one will help theists understand how atheists parent. As she said, "Maybe it won't matter to a theist parent, but it may help someone who things theism is necessary think twice." Smart kid! So...at her request, let's do this.

1. What are your priorities as a woman? Why?

My priorities as a woman differ from those I have as a mother. As a woman, my priority is self-esteem and the promotion of advanced math and science for all children, but in particular, female children. I think they still get over-looked. As a woman, I want my girls to reflect strength of character and independence. Now, as a mother, my priorities are (in order):
1. My children
2. My marriage
3. My intellectual and personal growth.
4. Encouraging the use of logic and reason.
5. Being an example.
Four and five are probably pretty close to a tie. Why? Well, my children being first should be obvious. Given that I do not believe in an afterlife, I see my children as the future of my line. I want them to do great things and enjoy life. The things I do right now matter. They matter tremendously. Ask any child who's been treated badly by a parent; it takes a while to break those cycles and right those wrongs. My best friend, Middle Aged Vampire Atheist, talk about this quite frequently. The only way to break the cycle is to be the hammer. So, every decision I make is made with regard to my children. My marriage is also a fairly obvious priority. The others are important to the institution of the first two priorities.

2. What role does your husband serve in your marriage? - Pdaddy has an invaluable role in our marriage/family. He stands with me in wanting our children to be great people who do amazing things. And, he's one of the most caring men I know. He's not afraid to take on things that may traditionally be a woman's job. He's changed just as many diapers as I have. He was completely supportive of me breastfeeding, to the extent that he would get up and change the baby before handing him/her off (AND asking if I could use some water or pillow fluffs to get comfortable while nursing). We have our moments. We're both human. But, I think we're united on the critical issues. What role does he serve? He's my best male friend and knows me inside-and-out. He is the male role model. He teaches our sons how to be be good husbands and fathers...he strives to teach our daughters what they should expect in a man.

3. How many children do you have and how old are they. Use initials or numbers for names. It's not important to have their names.
We have four children. P1 (female) = 13 years. P2 (male) = 12 years. P3 (female) = 5 years, 10 months. P4 (male) = 4 years.
I'm really glad it turned out the way it did. P1 and P2 can't recall any time when the other wasn't there (as P1 is just 17 months older). P3 and P4 are the same (22 month gap). They've always been playmates. And, something I never anticipated was how protective P2 would be of P3 and P1 of P4.

4. Do you homeschool? - No. We believe that a public education is valuable. Working with a community of peers is important. That said, we do heavily supplement the primary school curriculum (after that, honors programs kick in). We try to engage each child in their interests and keep them culturally literate in subjects like: art, music, history, philosophy, and humanism. We spend a good chunk of time giving them enrichment in academic subjects, too.

5. How many books are in your home? Do you believe children should be allowed to read anything? What should be censored or what bothers you enough to make it off-limits? - Hardly anything is off-limits. Pornography and exceedingly violent materials are not welcome. But, we don't try to ban these things because we realize that banning usually creates a feeling, in the child, that you've laid down a challenge. Forbidden fruit. *wink* I'm okay with books about sexuality and/or anatomically/biologically correct materials. We have an open door policy on those things. I really think children should be exposed to a broad spectrum of reading material. Thus, we have not hundreds of books, but thousands in our home. Most of our books are non-fiction.

6. Give us a brief over-view of your day, if you would please? (this will be important later)

That would be almost impossible to do. Sorry.

7. What does religion mean to you?

Religion is something people participate in to find fellowship with like minded people and/or take comfort in the alleged promises made by their deity. I hope this isn't taken wrong, but (to me) religion means giving up your own ideas to be part of the group. It means prizing faith over discovery. I realize that not all religious people feel this way and I would agree that this is over-generalizing, but the question was how I feel about religion. Your mileage may vary.

8. What does God mean to you? - Nothing.
9. What is the best possible outcome that you can think of for your children? If you have different thoughts for different kids please list for each.
To be happy and productive in their chosen field. I think the best possible outcome is a child who can: think critically, solve problems, help the world be a better place, find contentment and happiness so that they may be happy adults, who are empathetic and educated. I also hope the realize how much they are loved.

10. Is there anything your child could od to make you disown him/her? Give us an example of some of those things.
Disown? No. Even if my child did something heinous, he/she would still be my child. You can't put conditions on loving your child. That said, I would be extremely disappointed if they purposefully harmed another person without good reason (in self-defense). I would be upset if they threw away the chances they had or wasted their minds.

11. Discipline. What does it mean to you?
Teaching children the consequences of their decisions -positive and negative.

12. What educational goals do you have for your children?
I really hope that they all get an undergrad degree at the very least. P1 wants to be a physician, so my goal for her is her goal. P2 wants to get a PhD and teach like his dad. P3 wants to be a vet or a princess. P4 wants to be Lightning McQueen, so...
It's hard to say what I want for them academically because it's not my choice to make. My job is to give them all the tools to be who they want to be and then help them navigate towards their goal.

Jealous

2008-08-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

P3 got to go to Disneyland and California Adventure, today. This will make the third kid since October to go without me. I'm officially throwing down the "no fair!" card. :) Just kidding. P3 went with her "boyfriend" (which, to her, is exactly what it sounds like, "A friend who's a boy"). It's strange. When P1 was her age, I thought she was so old and ready for experiences away from us (like this). So, why am I having such a hard time with letting go of P3 and P4? Why do I feel like they're babies? I know, in my head, that they're far from babies. Maybe it's because I'm not out with them as much as I was with P1 and P2. I'd like to hear from other parents on this. Did you feel differently about your youngest than your oldest?

I also want to say a few words to someone who posted in comments. They called themselves "Concerned" and I've deleted their comment for reasons I will get to in a minute.
Concerned,
You posted to this blog using an option that allowed you to comment anonymously. You chided me for not taking my children's safety seriously enough because I accidently let a livejournal link slip through to a post from 2001. I do thank you for pointing that out. And, because of the LJ set up, you can't go back and do massive security changes (as I tried to do). So, I had to delete the blog. However, I think you were a bit out-of-line for saying that having that link was "handing it all out". For, you see, most people didn't care to read more than the post that was linked. That you did is interesting. That you read back far enough to see the name of one of my children's teachers (from the year before last) intrigues me,...if you were truly concerned, then why not e-mail me privately the moment you found the error? Instead, you took advantage of it; read other entries; and THEN left a public comment. Furthermore, you suggested that there was a lot of personal information. You're right. Perhaps that would be because it was a personal blog from 2001 until a few months ago. And, most of the entries were locked. Yes. I've cracked down on security. And, yes, I made a mistake. Like I said, I appreciate your concern. But, your concern would've been much more appreciated without the snippy-ness.
Thanks

Coming out

2008-08-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

I got a strange e-mail this morning. I'm sure some others received it, too. The subject line read "Challenge to Atheist Bloggers". The author of the e-mail challenges people to come out and use their real names on blogs because he's found the courage to do so. He suggests that using a pseudonym on your blog is "hiding behind anonymity." It seems noble, and maybe that's what he intended it to be, but let's take a look below the surface.

1. I think it's pretty arrogant to say, "If you don't come out as I have done, then you are hiding." People here definitely know who I am. My read name has been circulated a couple of times to those who needed it. And, frankly, if this guy had read my blog regularly, then he would know that.
2. He's an author pushing a book. Well, of course, you are going to put your real name out there! Otherwise, how will people find your book?
3. He completely ignores that, for some, coming out is still dangerous. There's nothing brave or courageous in coming out if it means you will lose your job, your children, your life, or any number of things that we cherish. A reader, who can self-identify in comments if he chooses, recently went through a nasty divorce. Despite that his ex-wife was an atheist at the time their children were born, she converted after the split. She told the judge that her husband was going to force the kids into atheism and this judge decided that was reason enough to deny the husband's request for joint physical custody. Standing up for who and what you are is admirable. But, there are consequences. Boy! Do I know that?! So, to flippantly say "I came out and so should you." is short-sighted.
4. He says,...

But what about other oppressed minorities whose members have had the courage to
take a risk, to stand up for what they believe? Should Rosa Parks have given up
her seat on the bus to a white person? Should women have agreed that they
weren't worthy of the right to vote? Should gays and lesbians stay in the closet
and suffer? What about Bertrand Russell's courage?

I may be dense, but I don't see how these examples relate to his "challenge". He's using emotion to prompt someone to come out. I find that ironic because he says that he knows atheists work from a grounded position with reason. So, why appeal to the emotional?
5. His blog is fairly new with few comments on the entries. And, he has a very generic list of blogs that he reads or subscribes to. I've chatted with some of the people who also received his e-mail and they've never heard of him before now.
6. You don't have to go by your real name to have an impact.

So...I know some of you are wondering why I'm not linking to his site. I have two reasons. One, I think he's only trying to drum-up an audience for his book. I'm not going to be a marketing tool for someone I don't know or a book I haven't read. If he wants to end me a copy of the book, then I'll read it and share my thoughts. I'll post a link...if the book is good. But, somehow...I'm guessing that won't happen. Not because he wouldn't do that, but because I'm pretty sure he's not actually reading the blogs he's claiming to have surveyed. I want to see if he really reads my blog or if he just spammed the first fifty hits in Google.

Olympic Opening Ceremony

2008-08-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

Every year, I do a MST3000 version of the Opening Ceremonies. The possums get in on it to. I'm a huge Olympic dork (as I've explained before) because both my boys were born during the Summer Games. But, I also can't hold in my snark for the ceremonies that book-end the games. SO,...if I'm not around on the blogs tonight, then you'll know where I am. I've decided to post this year's version here instead of on my livejournal.

The NPZ

2008-08-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

I've received so many e-mails about this that I've decided to go ahead and acknowledge No Possum Zone. I have known about this website since Thomas (the husband) made his first comment on this blog in June. Along with Thomas, Nancy (his wife) also posts to their "counter website". Well, here...have a look at their "mission statement".

This matriarch is popular with the atheist liberals
who claim god has no place in our world.She has been mentioned on PZ Meyers (the anti-ID professor exposed in Expelled). She has thousands of google hits.I do
not suggest you comment in her blog. Comment here.This blog will discuss her
entries with Christ's view. By Christ's people. By people who want only to
please their Lord.I think she is a good mother. Good mothering is unrelated to
having truth. Faith is the most important part of childraising but God has given
us this space to discuss what happens when God is thrown out

Sounds pretty harmless. I mean, they said I was a good mother and all. But, somehow I knew that wouldn't last long. Sure enough, the next post says this:

Is Opossummomma honorable? She is an unbelieving neighbor which is why this blog will hope to be a beacon. When you live without God your path is muddied with unimportant things. Honorable behavior is not including making posts about the standards modesty has in the FLDS. They are not hurting opposummom but she has dismissing opinions on any subject that smells of faithfulness to God's
commands. You may be asking why we have to stand for blogs that do not tolerate
God and I would say to you that we must because we know the truth. There's a
list of blogs on her site that I feel God is telling me to address to you so
that we may spread the Gospel Word. We must live honorably.

How honorable is it to create a blog for the soul purpose of disassembling one person's life? How is it honorable to defend child predators (the FLDS men) or the religion that glorifies the abuse? My problems with the FLDS had nothing to do with modesty. My posts reflect that I object to the any system that makes children chattel. I'm opposed to religions that enslave young girls with no means or choice to find freedom.

Next came a diatribe against co-sleeping and breastfeeding, with the following gems of wisdom:

It's no wonder this generation is spoilt rotten. Pmom says don't let them
cry. Don't raise a voice or speak. Eat whenever you want because the baby
controls you. Sleep together like hippies.

Oh yes. This country is going to hell in a handbasket because parents around the world practice a custom older than the Bible itself.

O ho ho. Who is she to talk about morals when she opened her knees to Tom, Dick, and Harry? Abstinence works every time. What did she expect the church to say to her with that problem.

Actually, it only took one Dick to get me pregnant. Tom and Harry weren't necessary. I love how they claim to be all pro-life, clown car uterus freaks, but they'll shake their fingers at the way those babies came to be.

In the most confusing twist...the next blog entry links to a post I made long ago in my livejournal. It wasn't just any post, it was a post I made about a loss we suffered...in 2001!
He found a post from November of 2001 and assumed that the Tom I was talking about was him.

My comment on poss's blog has the following hiped up. I am the topic of a blog post even. How special am I?

Very special, apparently. I don't want to insult people who ride the short bus by comparing them to Tom, but what the hell? He's "special" alright. When I e-mailed him to ask what the fuck was his problem and how he could possibly imagine I was referring to him in a post from seven years ago, he said "I thought it was a recent post." No dumb shit! It wasn't. Even if it was recent, how egotistical can one man be? Jerk.

In this same post, we get another rehashing of co-sleeping.

The harm in cosleeping is it lets the child control the parents when the
parents should be parents. A kid can't be independent if mommy is insecure so
much to not let them sleep alone. Won't her kids be the oddballs when they
invite mom in the marital bed with the spouse.

You see a lady who is passion is kids I see a lady who has passion for herself.
Those of us who respect the word of God and parenting advice from Adam and Eve know differently about who we should respect.

Oh really?

The recent post is a load of stinkin feces calling catholics bad for expecting
respect in the church. PZ Meyers or whatever is a scandal monger who wants
attention. Oposs is learning from him.

Well, I do subscribe to the whole "master/apprentice" philosophy from Star Wars. What problem does Tom have with PZ? Did PZ steal his pet octopus or something? *rolls eyes* The next line, though, sums his entire position up very succinctly.

Cosleeping is not right. It means a child comes between man and wife where God
says no man should go.

How he has the balls to call me a "self-worshipping", "selfish" person beats me. For people who claim to strive for purity of thought and action, these people sure are focused on sex. It's all about sex: abortion, single mothers, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and "a mother's role".

I think I'll stop here. But, I'll leave you with a comment from his latest temper tantrum.

Op-momma is relentless in cramming atheism in all of her childrens experiences. She took them to the zoo but saw no beauty from God. She saw her secular mumbo jumbo facts about a theory of evolution which theory would be a thing that has not be
proven. Did she care about her childrens hearts in the zoo or was her day about
attacking God by desperite attempt to deny His creation? She had a partner this
day at the zoo with another atheist.
She met for the first time at the zoo. I thought she wanted to protect her
children but meeting strangers is not protective. Do atheists always need to be
a group of secular skeptics in public places? I left a post in Oppossum's blog
and was attacked by the friend.

This guy's delusional. But, let's indulge him enough to see what Calladus said that constitutes an attack, shall we?

Calladus said...Saved Servant, if you're really and truly interested in saving
my soul, if you honestly want to save me from Hell, then you need to email me so
we can have an honest discussion.You can find my email address from my blog -
it's only a couple of clicks away.If I don't get an email, I'll assume you're
just posturing in public, displaying your righteousness in order to curry favor
with God in defiance of Matt. 6:1.
That's an attack?

EDITED TO ADD - Some people have asked why I'm giving these people any attention or recognition. That's a fair question...one I toyed with for the last two weeks. I decided to acknowledge it because I was receiving multiple e-mails saying, "Have you seen this?"
I want to make one thing clear, though. I do not think these people are in any way harmful. For one, they live on the opposite coast. Second, like many of you, I doubted that they were for real. I asked them, in light of previous issues, to give me proof of their existence and they've done so to my satisfaction. I have their full names and a phone number which checks out.

Zoo Review

2008-08-05T21:17:00.001-07:00

Today was fun! We met up with Calladus and his wife at the Fresno Zoo (technically called the "Chaffee Zoo"). P4 had been wanting to go to the zoo for a very long time and we figured his birthday was a great excuse. The day went very nicely. I used my UV blocking clothes. Although, I figured out a problem with these items of clothing. The weave is so heavy that it's unbearable to wear them in the oppressive heat of the Central Valley. It was easily over 100F. I wore the pants but had to ditch the long sleeve top because of the heat. No shocker, then, that my arms broke out almost immediately. It was so bad that Calladus noted it right off. I also forgot to take my mask along. DOH! BUT, we did have the wheelchair. It was my first time on a family vacay since we went to Cambria last year for the day. Before that...it's been two years since we did anything like this.

The kids had a lot of fun. P3 was taken with the elephants. P4 liked the camel. We got to do a stingray encounter where we could sit on the sides of a salt water pool and touch the rays as they swam by. It was amazing. None of us imagined that they would be slimy.

A few of them got into "race mode" and started doing laps. I had no idea how fast they could be.

We also saw a giraffe trying to get fresh with a tree wrapped in caging. I swear that this is the goofiest giraffe I have ever seen. It made for great pics.

LOL. Nice tongue! Then he started opening his mouth and...I'm not sure what he was doing. Singing? Or, just yawning? I don't know. Any giraffe experts out there?

We saw many animals, but I have to say that the animals I most enjoyed were the elephants.

I'm amazed at how well they use their trunks to accomplish so many different things. The dexterity they display is amazing. We got to watch them being fed! The trainer through in bags of Timothy Hay and we watched in awe as these two elephants approached us (within ten feet) and started taking the hay out of the bags, as if they were handling fine china.

While we were walking through the zoo, it struck me that all of these animals, at one point (long, long, long ago) shared a common ancestor with us. I've heard Creationists go on-and-on about the diversity in the animal kingdom and how they interpret this as evidence that God created everything. But, what struck me was not how different these animals were. When you observe these animals, you see that they definitely have personalities and talents specific to their environment. I was looking at the tapirs and I remembered a quote from The Ancestor's Tale (Richard Dawkins) that talked about the similarities in species you wouldn't even guess were related. The tapirs are related to horses and rhinos. But, they look like a relative of a pigs or anteaters. Not even remotely close to reality! "The first true tapirs, appeared in the Oligocene, and by the Miocene, such genera as Miotapirus were almost indistinguishable to the extant species. It is believed that Asian and American tapirs diverged around 20 to 30 million years ago, and that tapir varieties moved from North America to Central and South America around 3 million years ago." (Encyclopedia Brittanica) The Oligocene was 55 million years ago. Contrast tapirs to homosapiens: "Modern Man" originated 250,000 years ago.

While I was thinking about this on the way home, the absurdity of creationism hit me like a ton of bricks. How can these people claim objectivity or plausibility? Anyone with half a brain can see the evidence of evolution. Why do they cling to the idea that a Creator made all of these examples of life in the animal kingdom but didn't have the talent or resources to make them genetically different? Is it because they don't care or don't want to learn? Is it easier to remain ignorant? They are missing out on these amazing realizations to please a deity that does not exist and keep a 2,000 year old book from becoming obsolete. Those are shitty reasons for ignorance.

Happy Birthday, P4

2008-08-02T03:29:00.000-07:00

P4 is turning 4 today! I can't believe it. There's some part of me that gets anxious at the thought of not having a toddler in the house anymore. The diapers are gone. The sippy cups are gone. There are no longer any crib sized beds in the house. My babies are no longer babies. I loved every moment of the kids infancy and toddler hood. At the same time, this is a new and exciting stage we're entering. We'll no longer have to deal with a screaming baby on a road trip or a diaper that leaks. No longer will we have to guess what the baby is trying to say because all of our kids are extraordinarily verbal. And, at the center of this change is this beautiful little boy with an amazing sense of humor and pure joy for life. He's been talking for a long time (he started very early,...maybe because he had three older sibs), but now he's starting to bring up conversations as they relate to his view of the world. It's awesome.

I have one more thing to thank this little guy for. Four years ago exactly, at this time and date, I almost died. I had been hospitalized for most of his pregnancy. An amnio at 34 weeks showed that his lungs were mature, so they scheduled me for an August 1 induction. Being my fourth child, everyone thought this would be a piece of cake delivery. I remember Pdaddy and I walking from my room of three months to the birth center. We were joking about having a baby by lunch. HA! P3 was born in eight hours, start to finish. P4 took twenty-five hours. But, back to the death statement...at 3:30am on the second, I looked at Dr. P-Daddy and said, "I think I'm dying." The weird thing was...it was a very calm moment. I wasn't afraid or anxious. The two women friends who were present for P4's labor and delivery freaked and buttons were pushed. My blood pressure was 43/20. I barely remember the events of the following two hours, but I do remember closing my eyes and seeing bright flashes of light. I felt "floaty" and the voices sounded as if everyone was in a tin can. The sounds were far away. Then, there were a few seconds of nothing-less and I figured out that I wasn't breathing. THAT is when I panicked. I remember saying, "BREATHE! NOW!" and I did. There were, according to everyone who was there (except for me,...because I don't recall), five nurses and a doctor in the room. They pumped me full of some meds and were rolling me on my side to see if P4's heart rate would rebound. It did. And, I did. Two hours later, I woke up (they turned off all induction meds and put me in sedation so I could recover from shock). What struck me, when I woke up, was what didn't happen. I had read the Bible during this pregnancy (three months in the same room will cause you to read cereal boxes and tags on laundry)...I had questions and doubts. There were some things that just didn't add up. On top of that, this experience happened and I didn't see Jesus. I didn't see my dead relatives. I did feel floaty, but I didn't see myself from above. I didn't see any angels waiting by my bedside. And, being that I was a believer at that point, if God exists...he must have been playing skeet ball in New Jersey. Being told what death would be like all my life, I felt kind of hosed. Happy to be alive, but hosed just the same. What I did see was a team of doctors and nurses who, through scientific knowledge, saved P4 and I. Their actions were swift and decisive. That didn't come from prayer. It came from experience and wisdom. I wasn't the first and I wouldn't be the last...that's what they do. I also saw my husband. The husband who didn't pray before reacting as fast as he could to get the right people in the room. He trusted me and listened to me during the moment when it really counted. He saved P4 and I. And, in some way, I truly believe that P4 saved me. Not through hokey mysticism, but because the instinct to survive is strong and I've sense learned that not only will the mother's body flood with adrenaline and chemicals at moments like these, but the baby's will too. It's natures way of saying, "HEY! Can you,...you know, like,...give birth to me before you die? Yeah? 'K, thanks!"

Most people, including the two ladies who were with me (to get Dr. P-Daddy chips, soda, and a #1 from McDonald's too eat in front of me when I was NOP (Nothing by mouth)...but, I'm not bitter or anything)...well, these two ladies couldn't claim this as a miracle fast enough. When the shit hit the fan, they both - literally- backed away onto a bench against the wall. And, after the situation stabilized, they said a prayer. I love one of these two women very much. But, it rocked my world to realize that, when the chips were down, her reaction was to pray. When I got home the next day, there were multiple messages on our answering machine saying things like, "We heard about your miracle." or "Congrats. We spoke with LadyX and she told us what happened. God was really on your side, wasn't he?" As I sat with this snugly little boy in my arms, I kept thanking the doctors and science and medicine for getting us through it. So, P4 was the catalyst for opening my mind to what reason and logic had to say. I will never be able to thank him adequately enough. Sure, the pregnancy and delivery sucked ass...but, I got a devastatingly cute little boy and a new perspective on life. That seems fair. :)

Happy Birthday, P4. I love you. - Mommy

Pajamas and junk

2008-08-01T02:47:00.000-07:00

The quest has begun. Every year, I buy the kids matching Christmas pajamas. But, this year, I have to find jams that will fit a four year old and a girl who wears a women's small. I should probably just stick sporks in my eyes...because, I fear it's a useless pursuit. I thought I'd start early this year, though. Maybe I'll get lucky. I'm disappointed that my mom doesn't really sew anymore. If she did, then I'd buy the fabric and make them. (But P-momma, why don't you sew? - I used to. Now it kills my wrists now.) If anyone has any cool ideas on where I can find family jammies, then please leave a comment. Thanks!

PZ has really stirred up a hornet's nest here in Bakersfield. LOL Not only did he offend many of the Catholics in this town with CrackerGate08; he also managed to skew a poll ran by the Californian. Some locals are saying that he "violated" them. Boo-to-the-hoo. It was a bullshit poll anyway. The question was:

Should atheists be barred from public office?
Yes - 3%

No - 97%

Total votes: 4076

What's funny is that there are people scrambling like mad to try to say the poll was just a joke. If that's the case, then there are a bunch of people pissed off and "violated" over a joke. But, I think the poll's author was being quite serious as we've recently had a KHSD (Kern High School District) Trustee who said, on air:

“I think it’s impossible for an atheist to support and defend the Constitution
of the State of California and so maybe we should have a religious test,...An
atheist can’t even believe the preamble to our Constitution of the State of
California.” - Chad Vegas

If you want to hear it, then make with the clicky! CLICK. Keep in mind, this is the same asshat who tried to have "In God We Trust" posters put in every classroom in the county. He also was part of a smear campaign against an AP English class reading the Bluest Eye, by Toni Morrison. This guy is a class-A, religious bigot.

What disgusts me more than anything is that he's sending a horrible message to district students. Not every child is a Christian. This town has a very high population of Sikh, Muslin, Jewish, and secular families. But, here you have a trustee of the largest high school district in the United States telling the non-Christian kids that they shouldn't even try to become active in State politics or run for office.

Barks (radio host) gave him an opening to say he’s not really supporting a
religious test for public office, but he instead said he absolutely would — not
for federal office, because the U.S. Constitution prohibits a religious
test.“They can’t actually say they’re thankful of the Almighty God. They
can’t,” he said Tuesday in an interview.But he said he’s not pushing for
such a test to be enacted here.

Right... dry that out and you can fertilize the lawn. There is no doubt in my mind that this guy would love nothing more than to see Bakersfield purged of any non-Christian influence. Actions speak louder than words. Of course, he claims he's been taken out of context. Because, as he explains, he was "trying to get the school board to pass an ordinance against gay marriage." What the hell that has to do with educating our kids is beyond me.

Quiet Spell

2008-07-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

Milo wrote in and said, "The quiet spell over here is starting to get a little disconcerting... "

I know and I apologize. Part of my silence stems from the fact that I *really* can't talk about what happened. But, "what happened" is constantly on my mind. The last two weeks have been intensely emotional and draining. I think I've experienced every emotion possible. And, when you have a disease like the one I deal with everyday, this constant swing of emotions leads to a breakdown of the physical. And, to a large extent, I'm really trying to focus on my family until I know we're all okay and can move on. That may take some time. I know that means losing readership. But, as much as I love 99% of you, I love my children and my husband more.

That said, I do have some issues I'd like to comment on.
If you haven't done so, then do go over to The Atheist Experience and watch this week's episode. Apart from getting to see Matt D with a jester's hat and Russell's air drumming, you'll also get to see the take-down of Patrick Greene. Greene is an atheist who, after some previous success in a law suit regarding the Establishment Clause, has become seemingly additcted to finding more things to sue about. He's an atheist. But, as this episode of AE illustrates,...just because you share an opinion on the non-existance of a deity does not guarantee you share an opinion on anything else. I want to write more on this, but words fail to adequately convey the level of Green's delusion.

I'd also like to say that I commend PZ for his handling of CrackerGate08. Not only did he succesfully prove that a consecrated cracker does not bleed when you stick a nail through it (as one might expect from human flesh), but he also managed to highlight some brilliant hypocrisy from the Catholic Church.

Finally, over the last two months, I've been having a conversation with a theist (Barbara) via e-mail. Normally, this isn't that noteworthy. However, in this case, the discussion has remained congenial and informative for over fifteen exchanges. While I would categorize Barbara as a deist, she claims to be "an ordinary Christian". I think she's far more than ordinary. For one, it's rare that a theist e-mails an atheist with the sole purpose of learning more about what atheists are or believe. Yet, that's exactly what she did. Thought we agree to disagree, I have to give her kudos for her attitude and desire to educate herself about people on the other side of the table. Cheers and Happy Birthday to Barbara.

"Pray for our daughter."

2008-07-28T00:29:00.000-07:00

Thank you for the support and well wishes. I still can't go into the situation, but I do appreciate the time and ideas people have given me. It will still be a while before I get this all figured out. I really don't want to give up this blog. It's been a life-line for me for the last year or so. It's been very rewarding to hear people say that I give them hope for secularism in this country or raising secular children. But, as I said in a prior post, if it hurts my family, then I will stop. There's nothing more precious to me than my family. For right now, it's going to be impersonal, but hopefully still interesting reading.

This letter caught my interest. It was in a Seattle newspaper. It's a question and answer piece will Billy Graham.

Pray for daughter who doesn't believe
By DR. BILLY GRAHAM
DEAR DR. GRAHAM:
Our 17-year-old daughter says she doesn't believe in God anymore, and now she
even refuses to go to church with us. When we try to talk with her about it we
just end up in an argument. What can we do? -- Mrs. S.McD.

How do you get to be the parent of a 17 year old and not know how to parent? Of course, my answer would be that this young woman needs to be allowed to start making choices on her own. But, I suspect the good doctor's response will be different.

DEAR MRS. S.McD.: The most important thing you can do is to pray for her --
because only God can overcome her spiritual resistance and draw her back to
Himself. Jesus said, "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws
him" (John 6:44).

He's talking about this young woman as if she's a rebellious teen. What evidence does he have for this? And, what good does praying for her do? If I were a theist parent, then I would imagine sitting her down for a deep chat about her reasons for doing this would be a primary goal.

But you also can let her know you that love her, despite your differences -- and
by doing so, you'll be showing her that God loves her also.

How big of them. Gee...I guess it's better than saying "Take her out back and make her hold a Bible in her out-stretched hands for two hours." That you'd have to tell someone to let their children know they love them is kind of bizarre.

Don't let your discussions degenerate into arguments; this will only make
her more determined to keep her position. In other words, don't let this become
a test of wills between you -- your will battling against her will -- because
almost the last thing she wants to do right now is admit she is wrong. The Bible
says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"
(Proverbs 15:1).

Again, "a test of will"? Maybe she has genuine, logical reasons for not wanting to go to church or worship Jesus/God. I think it's ironic that these people are saying that the girl may "not want to admit (she) is wrong". I suspect that if her parents were more open to the idea that they, themselves, were wrong, then this whole scenario would be a lot more productive.
Let me encourage you also to ask her why she has come to this conclusion. Has someone influenced her? Has she been reading one of the recent books on atheism? Atheism has become something of a fad in recent years, and this may have influenced her. And, just how much will does a parent have on a seventeen year old?

But the real reason, I suspect, is that she wants to run her own life -- and
that's far easier to do if you push God out of your life.

Oh, yes. That must be it. Not only is she a willful, stubborn teen, but she also has decided that a paradigm shift is easier than complacency. Not! How the heck is it "far easier" to run your life if you push God out of the way and why would that be a bad thing? Isn't the point of growing up, in part, finding your way independently and making choices about what you truly believe as opposed to walking the same paths you did as a child?

Help her realize what she's doing, and then warn her of the dangers. Above all,
urge her to look at Christ, for He alone came "to bring you to God" (1 Peter
3:18).

The dangers of what? Thinking for herself and having the courage to tell her parents that she's not convinced that Christianity is for her? These people don't get it. How can we "look to God" when we have no reason to believe he exists? It's like saying you should "look to Santa" to find the meaning of Christmas. That works pretty well as an allegory, but it's useless advice in practice. If God alone can bring someone to God, then why not just tell the parents to leave her alone?

Changes

2008-07-24T23:57:00.000-07:00

Well, the kids ended up coming back the day after they left. It's a long story, but...some things have happened that require I make some changes to this blog. Before people ask in comments, let me say that I won't discuss the reason publicly.

However, as a result of the things that happened, I need to run this blog a bit differently. For one, I'm no longer going to post public slide shows of the kids. For the foreseeable future, I need to honor Pdaddy's wishes on that because of circumstances being what they are. I really hate that I have to do this. I know part of my goal with this blog was to allow people to see how normal secular families are and/or how secular children can grow up healthy and happy. I'll still talk about them, but I have to find a better way to share the pictures with a more limited audience.

One option I've considered is moving to a paid livejournal account. I've had a blog there for almost ten years, so I know the ends-and-outs. But, SixApart (the company who owns LJ) has some iffy wording in their ToS that makes anything written on their software their property. They also have some interesting guidelines and powers (including the power to suspend accounts for content they deem inappropriate). I'm also not sure if there's an RSS feed capability there.

I have really enjoyed using the Blogger software. But, I am disappointed by the safety features. On LJ, you can set certain entries to be open only to certain people. There are people here who I know in real life and who use this to keep tabs on our family...it sucks that I'm not going to be able to post pics here. I need some sort of system where I can make pictures password protected or viewable only to those I authorize.

If you have any ideas, then please leave them. I suppose I could also create my own website. But, I honestly have no idea how I would do that. I would need a lot of help. Please, please share any advice you have.

In the meantime, I hope all is well with everyone else. I'll try and make a post tomorrow.
Thanks!

It's quiet...too quiet.

2008-07-21T23:08:00.000-07:00

Note this on your calendar: For the first time since 2002, Pdaddy and I are alone, with no possums in the house. The kids went camping with the grandpossums. They will be spending four days in the high Sierras.

I have to say...this is so freakin' bizarre!! Over five years of having children in your home every day and every night...and then to have none. I am going bonkers. The house is so quiet. We ate take-out and actually took an hour to do so (as opposed to the normal routine of trying to take bites in between cutting meats/veggies and talking to/listening to the chatter of four children. We've watched a movie and played an hour of Wii. Now what? LOL

The movie was watched was "The Bucket List" with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. It was a great movie until they started getting heavy handed with belief and faith. Summation: both men have terminal cancer and they make a list of things that they want to do before they kick the bucket. Being that Nicholson's character is rich, they travel the world and do things that most people only dream of doing before they die. In the private jet, flying to India, Morgan Freeman starts talking about his faith. And, I shit you not...it was a typical pattern. Here's a paraphrased description:
Morgan: You don't believe?
Jack: No. The idea that there's something mighty in the sky who can make our diseases go away? No.
Morgan: So, 95% of the people on this planet are wrong?
Jack: 95% of the people on this planet are often wrong.
Morgan: But, what if that 95% is right...what will you do?
It was a total set-up for Pascal's Wager. Disappointing.

Anyway...I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for sending P2 birthday wishes.

Happy Birthday, P2

2008-07-20T01:43:00.000-07:00

Twelve years ago, this wonderful little boy came into my life.
It has been so much fun to watch his turn into a young man. And, I know that he's going to do amazing things in his lifetime. We love you very, very much, Jake! Happy 12th Birthday!

Squash?

2008-07-18T22:29:00.000-07:00

Holy jumpin' Jesus!! Our zuchinni plant has been slowly eating the rest of the backyard. We planted two plants, one of which didn't take off. But, the plant that was left has become a monster. Everyday, we get at least seven little zuchinnis and one big one. But, yesterday, we got three that were so big...well, let's just say that there were some jokes about judging happiness by the size of the item in your pocket. Would any local readers want some zuchinni?

Our corn looks like it's going to be equally plentiful. Grace has been very good about tending it for weeds and water. She's got about eight stalks that took off, each stalk having 4-8 ears for now. We should be able to eat it in a week.

Lexi's tomato plants are drooping from the weight. I don't eat much tomato, but I popped a cherry tomato in my mouth today and it was divine. Still warm from the sun and sweet.

Olympics

2008-07-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

I'm getting excited. Why, you ask? Simple: it's time for the Olympics. I'm a junky. What's strange about this addiction is the fact that I generally don't like to watch sports on TV.

I have a lot of positive memories when it comes to the Games.
In 1984, the Summer Olympics were in my own backyard. And, both of my boys were born during the Summer Olympics (P2 on July 20 and P4 on Aug. 2). So...with both, I have very happy memories of sitting up late and snuggling them while watching the less popular sports at three in the morning.

Beyond that, though, I find the Olympics to give a peak as to what's best about humanity. The athletes compete against other athletes without race, religion, or politics getting in the way. You don't see the participants as Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, etc.,. Instead, you see gymnasts, swimmers, runners, etc.,. I like that. I'm not saying that the Olympics are without controversy: I know they're not! China was not my pick for the 2008 games and I have to wonder what the IOC was thinking. But, I won't watch the games to give China kudos. I watch them to cheer on my favorite athletes and, I confess, the American team members. And, while nothing is hokier than an Opening or Closing Ceremony, you'll find me glued to the television during both.

This Olympic obsession has been around since the 1980 Moscow games. I was in Kindergarten for the 1980 Games and remember going to a McDonalds and getting a glass with an Olympic runner. I remember hearing that America was going to boycott because of the games being in Russia. That was probably my first lesson in international politics. But, even at that young age, I knew that the decision to boycott would take away the moment that some people had trained years for and I was sad. Perhaps that's why I'm excited for those about to have their moment?

Anyway...in other news, I got an e-mail that I have to post here. Any and all snark, or ass-whoopin', is welcome and encouraged. In fact,... maybe I'll award medals? *wink*
"Y don't u talk about any thing worth any talk. U are stupid
& no of us who glorify God care bout u or your buddys being fanatics against
the truth god gave u. Y do u care about what we says in the
papers. U like the enemy of the catholic faith in Minnesoeta. He is
so good a teacher u say that is he is not good enuff for a real
university. I bet you are in foolish dawkin. The grate powers of
atheism will fall like i see. u god haters should give it up. are u
going to tell god u did not want him. u will pray for mercy when u
get reviewed by gods measure. his ruler is unbending for u
people. U can tell me there no god when u sell the blog in as many
copys of the BIBLE. we know what we do with witches in gods order. U
owe me a sorry for the lies u tell about christians. i dont care tho. f***
u."

ROFLOL. I'd respond if I thought he/she could handle the big words...

That was interesting.

2008-07-16T18:10:00.001-07:00

I think it's really funny that my last entry started out as a point-counterpoint response to "love the sinner, hate the sin."...and turned into Co-Sleeping 101. I didn't see that one coming. Fair warning to all, that thread is now turning to potty training, so read at your own risk.

I saw something that ticked me off, today. I had to go get labs drawn again. Which means, we drove past Planned Parenthood. It was pretty early (7am) and already there were picketers. Do they sleep there? What the hell? Of course, it's the Catholic "Culture of Death Warriors" squad. This PP is on a corner and has two entrances to the parking lot. It's also on the second floor of a building with other businesses. Anyone going in or out would have to run the guantlet. Which, really, how pathetic are these people who stand on a sidewalk and yell Bible verses at young women looking for help? Here's a thought: stop being hypocrites and fucking use all that money and time to find homes for all of the babies you're claiming to save! Don't stand there and tell me you're a "warrior against the culture of death" when it's blatantly obvious that the only "deaths" you care about are in someone elses uterus. Sitting in a lawn chair with large posters of aborted fetal tissue does not a warrior make. Nor does unnecessarily bullying of young women AND men during, likely, a day that they didn't anticipate or want. I won't even get into the fact that these "warriors" can't figure out that PP offers more than abortions. @*#&!

Here's another little gem.

A recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that 32% of national
reporters acknowledged being politically liberal – compared to only 19% of the
general public. Kristen Fyfe of the Media Research Center’s Culture and
Media Institute (CMI) said the numbers are not surprising. She said one only has
to look at the headlines in the media and, as she put it, “[y]ou get a dose of,
basically, liberal propaganda, most of the time.” The Pew survey also
found that 68% of national reporters and news executives never or almost never
attend worship services. In Fyfe’s CMI Special Report titled “Apostles of
Atheism,” she found that “91% of the journalists say that you don’t have to
believe in God to be a moral person.” She said, “We found in our coverage
of last years’ news programs that atheists pretty much get a free pass when it
comes to reporting on their belief systems.” Fyfe says new media such as
the Internet and blogs give conservatives and Christians alternative sources of
information, but she stressed not giving up on more traditional media. “What I
would like to see conservatives do is to really get out there and change the
hearts of teenagers and twenty-somethings who are in college.” She said
younger Christians and conservatives need to learn they are not “weird” for
thinking the way they think and to understand that they will need to speak up if
the culture war is to be won.

Atheists get a "free pass" when it comes to "reporting" on belief systems? We do? What channel is this chick watching? War on culture. War on the culture of death. War on Christmas. War on Religion. Hrm...and we're the militant ones?

Hate the sin, love the sinner.

2008-07-14T17:41:00.000-07:00

Sean did a pretty good job of countering this person's misconceptions about atheism. Now it's my turn. Typing up long responses in comments makes them difficult to read (imho).

drob

said... While I am not one of those Christians who try
and beat you over the head with their beliefs, I do stand firm to my
convictions.

Ok. I'm not one of those atheists who is trying to take your God from you. I stand firm on my position that the extraordinary requires extraordinary evidence.

I think the problem that most aethiests have is two-fold, first, not unlike me
in my younger years, you can't stand the thought of authority telling you what
should or should not be done. There is a deep seeded resistance, an innate
rebellion, in all of us that defies authority.

This sentence, just by itself, tells me you have no clue why anyone here is an atheist. If that were the only reason someone were an atheist, then their position would be precarious and deserving of examination/skepticism. You have absolutely no clue what I, or anyone else, was like as a child. Therefore, trying to imply similarities is unfounded. I was, at it happens, the "good kid". I have no "deep seeded" rebellion in me. What would I be rebelling from? How could I rebell from something that doesn't exist? To a certain extent, you are correct in your assumption that I enjoy autonomy. The question becomes: What is it that you have against it. You'll contradict yourself later on. But, to sum up this part of you e-mail...you're wrong about why I am an atheist. And,...you're probably wrong about, pretty much, everyone who posts/reads here.

Secondly, again not unlike me, you have probably been exposed, at one time in
your life or another, to "bad regligion." Only in the past 5 years have I
realized that there are probably more churches and "religious" entities that
miss the mark of Jesus than who hit it, probably far more that miss.

Sure. We've all been exposed to bad religions. The problem I see is that I can't see much net good in any of them. They all proclaim to be the "one true church", which means there are thousands of "wrong churches". Almost every sub-sect of Christianity was the jumping off point for a more extreme version of their faith. It's interesting, to me, that you'd be so willing to toss a fellow Christian under the bus because they, in your assessment, "missed the mark on Jesus." It's not their fault we don't believe in God any more than it's YOUR fault. I've better reasons for my atheist position.

I am a Christian who has a spiritual relationship with Christ, I am NOT a
religious man.

No offense, but...if I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that one. To me, it's the equivalent of trying to pick up a girl by saying, "Come here often?" ;)

Scripted, regimented, legalistic, screaming in your face "religion" is not what
Christ taught and if someone claiming to be a Christian has offended you because
of these types of behaviors, then I apologize.

The problem (aside from the whole lack of evidence for existence of a deity) is that an honest person realizes that they have absolutely no certainty about what Christ did or did not teach. So much of the Christ story is based upon older myths and written a few hundred years after the fact. There are no primary resources. The best you can say is that the Bible contains what other people (with their own agendas and experiences) think Jesus might have said two hundred years before writing it down.

Christians should hate the sin, love the sinner, and that's what I attempt to
do.

Do you not see how totally condescending that statement is? As Sean said, "Hating the sin and loving the sinner is an abhorrent idea. It allows you to hate a part of a person, but make yourself feel good, excuse yourself from bigotry. “I hate what you are but I love you”. "
It's one of the most dysfunctional statements I've ever seen. It's too close to a man saying, "I hit you because I love you, baby." Additionally, if that's the kind of love being offered, then no thanks. I'll pass. Love me for who I am, not for who you want me to (or profess I should) be.

So, with all that said, I would say this to the original comment posted.
Spanking is a personal preference. I think the main key to discipline is having
the child know that you are the parent and you are in charge and what you say goes. It doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't explain why you are doing what you are doing, but it does mean the child should obey.

Wow...all that warm-up to talk about spanking? You're entitled to your opinion. But, I completely and totally disagree with the bolded part of your claim. Parents are not always worthy of respect or adoration. Surely you wouldn't make the claim that an abusive parent is justified in beating their child because the child needsto understand that the abuser is the parent and the victim is the child. See...I think the main key to discipline is to teach your child that there are consequences for every action. Some consequences are wonderful and some are tragic, with many in between. There is no developmental rational for spanking. If your child is old enough to understand consequences, then there's no need to spank. If your child is too young to understand, then it's cruel to spank. Spanking is violent. Put it in a pretty dress and drag it out to Church...it's an act of violence between a child and an adult.

As far as the co-sleeping, the problem I have with it is from a
psychological point of view, not from a sexual perversion aspect. Bonding with a
child is vital to them becoming emotionally healthy adults, so having them close
by in the early months of life is a good thing, but at some point, children need
to develop independence and I do believe that this sleeping arrangement thwarts
that.

I can show you hundreds of studies that invalidate your claims.

Even if on a smaller scale. There is also something to siblings bonding
separate and apart from the bonding with parents, and with all of you in the
same room, it is difficult to have that true bonding.

Do you have a problem with adults who share tents or trailers with their children while camping? What about those who can't afford more than a one bedroom place? No child is forced to sleep in a co-sleeping arrangement in this house. If you'd read a bit more objectively, then you'd have noted that I said co-sleeping is optional and seasonal. No one in this house is forced or required to sleep together. What exactly does "bonding" mean to you? Also, above, you claimed that independence and autonomy from authority was a bad thing. Now you're advocating that independence is the goal. Interesting.

Finally, with regards to the church, baptism, etc. I really seems like most
people in this blog have had bad experiences in the Catholic church. I'm shocked
(sarcasm). The Catholic church has probably done more damage to the Christian
faith than just about anything (maybe other than televangelists)else. I would
just ask you to find a local church that believes in the Bible and Christ, not
in a man or woman, and who loves the sinner and hates the sin. And Sean, we can
all get along if we just respect each other, but at the same time hold true to
our beliefs. God bless everyone and have a great day!

I'm not touching this with a stick...wow. You are really something.

Revelation

2008-07-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

If you're a Bible literalist and you believe that you will see Armageddon in your life time, then why would you bring children into the world? How can you?

I see these people on television with large families and each and everyone of them is preparing, in some way, for Revelations to be fulfilled. For a few families, it's the reason they have so many children ("To raise up a Quiverfull for God."). Why would you do that? What is honorable and loving about having a bus full of children just so you hedge your odds on a few of them getting to heaven? What's honorable or loving about having one child with those expectations?

There is a reason I ask this, but I'll save it for comments.

Paul's Question

2008-07-13T23:31:00.001-07:00

I feel so bad! In the post regarding parenting advice, Paul asked a question and I missed it.

Paul said...
First time dad with a 6 week old daughter
here, and while we're on the subject, I *want* some advice!While she slept a
good 5.5 hours solid the previous night, last night she didn't last more than 3
at a time, with an hour or two of feeding, changing and soothing in between.
When can we expect her to start sleeping through the night?

Hello Paul!
I'm so sorry that I missed this last week. The first three months can be exhausting for parents and baby. There were extenuating circumstances when P4 was born, but Pdaddy and I had to work out a schedule where he slept from 11pm to 3am and I grabbed a few hours after that. What we ended up doing was camping out on the recliner in our living room. Before sitting down, we had water (for us), a remote for the tv, numerous burp rags, diapers, wipes, a change of clothes for baby, and blankets. For two weeks, P4 was on a fiber optic bilirubin blanket called a Wallaby Blanket. I dug up some pics (and I promise I'll get to my point and your question in a moment).

So...what choices do you have that will help you keep sane while exhausted? Really, the baby's not going to sleep through the night until her body is ready and can regulate her metabolism to meet a more lengthy gap between feeding. I would have to say that we got to the six hour mark somewhere near the 12th week on average. Since you asked for suggestions, I'll tell you the different ways we managed. Take or leave any of this advice. What works for one family (or even one baby) may be useless for another family. Is there any way you guys could take shifts? Is there some place in your house where you can sit undisturbed and dose upright? Some babies really hate that they can't feel the warmth and noises they enjoyed in the womb. For P3, the only way we got her to sleep was Kangarooing. She was a 34 weeker and picked up the habit in the NICU. But, basically, Mike and I would put her bare skin to our bare skinned chests and swaddle ourselves with blankets. In that way, we could get her to sleep for five or six hours near at around eight weeks. Also, if your wife is nursing, this method makes it very easy to pop a boob in the baby's mouth without completely waking mom and dad. If you're not a co-sleep family or feel that you can't take shifts or really any of the above, then you could try white noise. Better still, see if you can find a CD with the sounds of a human heart beat or other comforting sound. The womb is a noisy place and some babies don't adjust well to the peace and quiet that we enjoy. Another helpful method is to do exactly the same thing every night for a while. Bath, book, cuddle, sing, nurse, sleep or some combination of the above. Just do it in the same order every night so your little one picks up on the routine. I can still sing P3 to drowsiness. LOL! Of course, I suck at singing so maybe she's just trying to block it out. I love Another thing to remember - it's not uncommon for a baby to be topsy-turvy on time. Are you able to nap when she does during the day? Forget cleaning the house or answering the phone or whatever you think you need to get done for a bit. Take the nap.
I hope that helps some. If you trust me, drop me an e-mail and I'll copy some of our favorite lullabies onto a disc for you. If you don't want to do that, then I understand and highly recommend checking out
Putumayo Kids Music. Their Dreamland CD is amazing. There's an added bonus in the fact that they are extremely committed to supporting secular charities that protect children and childhood. Good luck, dad!

Body of Christ?

2008-07-13T03:39:00.001-07:00

I've been holding off on sharing my thoughts about the Crackergate 08'. Of course, I fully support PZ and the young man who was fucking assaulted. ASSAULTED. Over. A. Cracker. And, it's not even a tasty cracker. In fact, I've long thought that the closest thing they resemble (in taste) was those packing peanuts that you can get made of rice byproducts.

I was Catholic. Not just a namby-pamby, holiday Catholic...I went through all the steps a devout Catholic was supposed to go through. I've noticed that there are some in the atheist community (and shocking numbers in the theist community) who don't understand transubstantiation, so I'll give a short primer. Transubstantiation is not just a long word which I will shorten to trans-sub for the rest of this blog entry. Trans-sub is the literal belief that your Christ-toasty is actually the body and blood of the HUMAN Christ. Not the resurrected one. This whole ritual arises from the last supper wherein the Bible claims Jesus said (paraphrased), "Take this and eat it. It is of my body." *RING DING DING DING* When the priest raises the host about his head, an alter boy rings a bell which supposed symbolizes the transformation of cracker to Jesus.

As a child, I had questions about this ritual. The first being the part wherein the host becomes the human presence of Jesus. If it becomes his body, then why does it not bleed? You can't just pour wine on it and go "Tada!" That doesn't count. I asked that question of my priest in a CCD class and I was told that Jesus was so holy that, upon his resurrection, he was filled with the pure spirit of God. Now...it took me about two years to call bullshit on that one. As, standing in line for communion, I realized that he had contradicted Church doctrine. But,...let's not get stuck in those little details. Just relating that never, in my twenty years taking communion, did the cracker turn into Jesus.

I've been reading around the atheist blogosphere and keep coming across people asking if Catholics *really* believe in trans-sub. It's complicated. What I can say with certainty is that they absolutely want to believe it. They want to believe it so badly that they will take suspending reality one step further than most theists. I don't know if this is still a rule, but I was taught that you couldn't eat or drink for four hours before and one hour after you too communion because you didn't want the holiest of holies dancing around in your intestines with PopRocks or eggs and bacon. In fact, there is a list of reasons why one shouldn't take communion. If you have not confessed your sins, then you may not partake. If you are not in communion with the Church, then you may not partake. This includes people who are divorced but not annulled on down to people who disagree with Pro-lifers. Yet, I never saw anyone body checked for taking communion when they weren't supposed to. And, do the math...not everyone who takes communion has been in the confessional because the lines for the host are always longer than those of the confessional. Not to mention the scads of non-Catholics who would go up for communion as a gag.

Which brings us to the current situation...
Webster Cook is Catholic. He wasn't some atheist or *gasp* protestant trying to crash the Eucharist. He was even reverent enough to bring a little ziplock to put the host in. He didn't shove it into his wallet with his condoms or jam it in a pack of smokes. There's no rule that says you can't take the host out of church. It's not conventional and it's rarely done, but I have heard of people who took it home so they could get around the four hour rule. The host is routinely taken to hospitals and homes of the sick. It doesn't burst into flames as you pass the holy water at the front door. But, apparently, the Catholic Church is now employing little old ladies as Host Compliant Officers. Really...if that lady could see he wasn't trying to scrape the host off the roof of his mouth with his tongue, and therefore hadn't eaten it, then we need to hire her out to find Osama.

What he did was unconventional and maybe a bit disrespectful (after putting it in his mouth and spitting it out...that's just gross whether you're eating Jesus or a Porter House). After all, he could've come back to try again another day. But, please, please tell me how it was more respectful to jump a guy in Church? Assaulting someone over a wafer is not only inconsiderate and disrespectful, it also happens to be a crime. I hope Mr. Cook sues. Not because I want to screw the Church, but because people in the Church should not be above the law.

Furthermore, comparing this man's actions to kidnapping is absurd. Beyond absurd!! I dare any Catholic to walk up to Elizabeth Smart, or any other family who has actually experienced the devastation of kidnapping, and throw down that analogy. Saying it's a "hate crime" is equally laughable. If anyone should be throwing around the word hate crime, it should be Mr. Cook.
My personal favorite quote was from the priest who said (on television) - "Mr. Cook should give Jesus back to us. It's quite painful for the faithful."

If you're a Catholic and you think Jesus has been kidnapped because someone didn't follow wafer protocol, then you need serious psychological help. Acting like this guy stole the last wafer in the Vatican is insane. Isn't there plenty of Jesus to go around? I mean, the Catholic Church has been distributing pieces of him for a very long time...what's one wafer?
In reality, the wafer is nothing more than flour and water. Contrary to popular belief, not every one of them was baked at the Vatican with the Pope's blessing. And, even if they were, that doesn't make it the body of a dead guy. If you truly believe in trans-sub, then I say it's your obligation to take a communion wafer and have it chemically analyzed to see if it has some Jesus DNA. It's either literal or symbolic. You can't have it both ways. If it's literal, then take it to a scientist for analysis. If it's symbolic, then jumping a young man and pinning him to the kneeler is a touch dramatic.

Now the Catholic Church has stated that it plans to send a nun to supervise the next "celebration of the Eucharist". All I can think of is Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse.

Worst week?

2008-07-12T03:29:00.000-07:00

This week has been horrible, save two or three things.
P1 got an A in her summer Geo class. She missed Camp Quest, but I saw a renewed energy in her academic drive this summer. Quest will be there next year.
P2 and P4 have birthdays coming up very, very soon. I'll be sad to officially move out of the toddler phase for the last time (until one of my kids decides I would look good as a grandma). It's bizarre (moving out of the stage). We've been going through baby toys and clothes (Amy and Mary, the 23rd is fine. Make sure you have room for a box.). Putting away the Jack-in-the-Box that I bought P1 made me sentimental. Same with the stacking rings. I was more than happy to get rid of that popcorn popper push toy. I wanted to light it on fire and dance around it but I guess that would be a chemical waste hazard...nice to know kids can gum it, though.
The rest is not worth talking about.
But! I did get a chuckle when I noticed that PZ caught the eyes of a local, Catholic holy roller. :)

Unsolicied advice

2008-07-08T17:51:00.001-07:00

Over on my friend's blog, Anthro Amy, she has a post about people who tend to give you advice when you're not seeking it and don't need it. I was typing a response to her, in specific regard to parenting advice when I started having flashbacks on some of the advice PDaddy and I were given (or get, still). Some of the instances now make me laugh because they were so ridiculous, but others I still find pretty disturbing. I'll put them in categories. Family names have been changed because I still want them to talk to me.

THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH

1. "You can not do this. You must choose to wed or face bringing a
bastard child into the world."

I was pretty young with my first pregnancy (20) and went to Church (like the good little Catholic I was) to talk to a priest about my feelings. I was scared shitless. And, he played me like a Stradivarius by telling me how adopting my child to an "upstanding Catholic family" would please God. He said, "Either marry or put the baby up for adoption through Catholic services."
Talk about your false dichotomy! In case you haven't noticed, P1 has turned out better than fine.

2. "My my...you're a big boy. It's a good thing nothing happened to
you before you could get baptized." - Nun

When P2 was born, he was in the NICU for a bit and we were told to not take him to church until his immune system had a chance to develop. So...when we finally got around to baptizing him, he was at least six months old. The nun who said that was helping me get P2 dressed for the service and I fought the urge to run to the car and leave. What she said was sick.

3. "Parents! Your duty is not to cater to the child's needs.
Your job is to bring them to the Lord with humble hearts and innocence.
Attempting to create, with them, a more loving relationship than the one they
have with their Creator is wrong." - Priest

Um...says the man with no children. And, what kind of crap is that!

4. Last, but not least...""Why would you insult our God by coming
undressed in his holy place." nursing in church. I breastfed all of
my children. I had children. I know they need to eat and that's why you
should bring bottles!" - Nosy Catholic Mommy

This little gem was said to us during the time when Catholics give the sign of peace to their neighbors. This "Catholic Mommy" gasped when she turned to see my feeding P3. Pdad had taken off his suit coat wrapped it around us AND I had a nursing dress on (the kind with vertical slits in the top to allow access to the boob without pulling your top off). It's a tit!! A breast. A boob. A mammary gland. How is it that women like her can believe in a divine creator and then question breastfeeding. Was her God not responsible for breasts that produce milk perfect for a child? Was her God responsible for making the distance from baby's eyes to mommy's eyes the clearest distance an infant can see? I don't think God did it. But, if you claim God is responsible for creating us, you have to include breasts ad breastfeeding...or did those come from Satan?

Family Advice

1. "If you never put him/her down, then how will they learn to
crawl?"

Um. I've yet to see a three year old who can't walk because they were held to much.

2. "Crying won't hurt him/her one bit. Let him/her cry. He/she
will settle down if you don't respond."

I got this "advice" so many times that I finally xeroxed a bunch of articles telling them that, actually, letting a child CIO (cry it out) teaches the child that they can not depend on anyone to help them. I also sent them a video link from a study down to see what actually happens when babies are allowed to CIO. The babies usually cried until they were physically ill. If there needs still weren't met, they would start rocking back and forth in the crib to try and self-soothe. Eventually, their eyes glaze over and they, in 73% of cases, turned their faces to the wall and sobbed themselves to sleep.

3. "Co-sleeping is s dangerous and leads to sexual perversion."

Well, at least we know why there are so many promiscuous tribes in third world nations. Not! I doubt rapists become who they are because their parents co-slept until the decided they were too old for it. I may open myself up to a can of drama, but...it's no surprise to anyone who knows us in person that it's not uncommon for all six of us sleep in one room. During summer, I'll lie down with P1 and P3 on an air mattress while Pdaddy, P2, and P4 sleep on the bunks. I love the snuggling and small whispers and murmur of a family reading books to kids. In my mind, these moments should be cherished. And, just so it's clear...any of the children can choose to sleep in their own room. The family bed is not a requirement. We've found that, during school seasons, the kids retreat, on their own, to their beds. That's cool, too.

4. "We spanked you and you turned out okay! The Bible says, "Spare
the rod, spoil the child" after all."

The Bible also says to stone unruly children. Why should we take any advice in the Bible as a primer for raising children. I don't spank because I think it's damaging to the child's emotional growth. In my opinion (and I know some will disagree), spanking gives the child the impression that being big means controlling those smaller by violence. It also teaches the child to fear their parent. By spanking, you undermine the idea that discipline should be logical. If a kid, for instance, covers a wall in crayon, then you hand them a tooth brush, some soap and water, and make them clean up their graffiti. Spanking them, in that example, does nothing to help them understand logical consequences. And, last but not least, if you get to a point where you're spanking, then you've just shown a child that you can't control your own behavior.

5. "When my children were babies, we gave them:
rice cereal in bottles when they were six weeks old.
a little rum in their milk to help teething.
formula with Karo Syrup so they'd sleep through the night.

There are probably more, but you get my point. As I said in Amy's blog, in cases like these, I think it's a grandparent's attempt to justify the not-so-great things to their own children. Things do change from generation to generation, but not reading the current literature or ignoring current studies on infancy (or any other stage in childhood) is ignorant. Doing something simply because your parents/grandparents/older friends and relatives did it is stupid.

6. "I know you didn't want me to do this, but..."

I came to hate those words because it always meant they'd done something I specifically asked them not to do. If you know a mother/father doesn't want you to do certain things, then why do them?
What unsolicited advice did you get?

Happy Fourth of July

2008-07-05T00:17:00.000-07:00

Today was crazy. I hope my readers will forgive me: but, I'm going to veer off atheism and create this post for everyone (friends, non-atheists, and family included). I've broken it down into smaller slide shows. As always, if you choose to view the pics by going to the picasa links, you can see the captions.

First off, this was what we had for dinner. It was delicious. Menu: pulled chicken sandwiches with provologne or Munster cheese, a fruit salad (mangoes, papaya, kiwi, raspberries, boysenberries, blueberries, and jicama, with lime), potato salad, crab and shrimp pasta salad, and...for dessert, fresh strawberries flam bayed in Grand Marnier with cheesecake. (5 pics)

Next was our annual water fight. This year, we had 360 water balloons. I didn't play this year (not feeling so hot), but I was amazed by how bold P3 has become. She also employed some strategy that I didn't expect. She figured out that throwing balloons in the swing set cabin meant the balloons didn't pop, so she got in the upstairs fort and started egging people on to throw balloons at her. She was stock-piling them and then when her sibs would walk by, she'd open fire. (34 pics)

After drying off and getting the girls' hair plaited (so it wouldn't fall into sparklers or catch a spark), we went outside for fireworks. There were people around us, but on different streets, who had HUGE, professional grade stuff. I'm guessing they go down to Mexico and get them. Unlike last year, I didn't see any evidence of the fire department patrolling for illegal fireworks. They've probably given up, quite honestly. (36 pics)

I hope everyone had a great day. I realize Fourth of July is an American holiday, so I hope my far away friends had a decent Friday. I hope you enjoy the pictures, anyway. I'm bushed. I think I'm going to go have some left-over fruit salad and call it a night.

Prayer-v-Moment of Silence

2008-07-04T00:17:00.001-07:00

I had a nice chat with Matt Dillahunty this evening. He's a busy man: host of a podcast called the Non-Prophets, a host of the Atheist Experience (a public access show), and a member of the Atheist Community of Austin. On top of this, he's become a good friend.

I'm going to be intentionally vague on some of the details because I don't want to violate his privacy (with regard to health issues). I will call him/her "Teacher Doe".

Anyway, a while back, I told him about an incident that happened at the school of two very cool little people (P1 and P2). Here's the scenario - a teacher at a junior high (for the foreign readers, this would be the American 6-8 grades, with kids 11-14) had to take an extended leave of absence after it was discovered he/she had cancer. A few weeks after starting treatment, Teacher Doe was told that the cancer was more aggressive than they had initially thought and, therefore, would be out for the rest of the school year. Both of my kids have had Teacher Doe and Teacher Doe's spouse. One of my kids was in Teacher Doe's class.

After it was discovered that the cancer was going to mean more downtime, the school delivered a message via the public address systems/intercoms in the classes. The message contained, but wasn't limited to, the following statement; "...if you'd like to help, we will take a moment of silence at the end of this announcement to pray for Teacher Doe's recovery." P2 remembered it a little differently and thinks the message was; "If you would like to help, we will take a moment at the end of the announcements to pray for his family or have a moment of silence."

Is this appropriate?
Is P2's version more appropriate than P1's or are they both unacceptable?
Why?

I can understand needing to make some sort of statement because it *is* a loss. The students lost a good teacher for the year. The family is a member of the community, too,...so, they're more than just teachers at the schools, they're also neighbors. Still...I have always had a problem with adults who suggest children pray for the recovery of people they love. It gives the child a sense that they have power to influence a situation when they have none. For example; when the Sago Mine collapsed last Christmas, there were parents telling kids to pray for the miners. When the false report came in that all the miners were alive, there was a clip of a grandmother holding a child (whose father was in the mine) and saying, "See! Your prayers worked! Your dad is alive because of your prayers." Of course, when the correction came out saying all of the miners, save one, were dead,...the miracle claims stopped and they showed this child again. Only, this time, he looked completely devastated. My heart broke for him. Not just because his father died, but also because he'd been treated as if his prayers were the reason his dad lived...what does it, then, say when your dad dies? I have to imagine that the child might think, in child logic, something like this...
"If I pray well, my dad will survive. He is dead, so I must not have prayed well."
In reality, his prayers did nothing one way or the other. But, I wonder if he'll carry that scar.

So, back to our situation,...I don't think the school was right in having the student body pray as if they had any power to change the situation. Would it not have been a better, and more powerful message, to *do* something for the family? What about organizing a car wash or bake sale? What about taking up donations to offset the expenses of Teacher Doe's care? What about collecting books or other stuff that the teacher could use while in recovery? Or, heck...what about having every student write a letter of support? Prayer just seems like a wasted effort, to me. Advocating it in a public school is hinky. What do you guys think?

Pew Report Responses

2008-07-02T22:26:00.001-07:00

Is atheism a flexible position? I've been thinking about this since reading the four articles from On Faith, DC. I hope that link works.
Deepak Chopra made this comment, "Without a definition of “God” or “atheism,” who really knows the state of
unbelief that an atheist feels? If you take the common image of God as a
patriarch sitting above the clouds, it’s entirely possible to reject a personal
God while retaining a religious spirit. Einstein spent years explaining this as
his position, and few understood what he meant."

On a community level, I can see how this question is valid. How would Christians know what atheists reject unless they first settle the definition of "god" or "supernatural"? But, at the same time, I know what Christians are talking about when they say they believe without having to have a rigid, standard definition. Isn't this a double standard? If you rejected this "personal God" that Chopra is referring to, while keeping a belief in a "religious spirit", then you're not an atheist, in my opinion. Chopra goes on, in his article, to state:
"How will belief evolve next? Maybe these believing atheists are showing us
the way, along with Einstein, beyond a personal God on to the shores of
eternity. Einstein had his sights set on a secular spirituality that, he said,
was most closely approximated by Buddhism."

Secular spirituality?
The rational mind cannot go beyond words and concepts, but
consciousness can expand within itself without limits. Whether accidentally or
by intent, I hope at least a handful of believing atheists have set out on the
journey that begins with the will to believe and ends beyond images, even beyond
thought itself.

I may be an totally misunderstanding his logic in the first sentence, but it doesn't sound very sound to me. How can he prove that there's a consciousness that can "expand within itself without limits"? Why would the rational mind need to go beyond words and concepts? Having the "will to believe" in something doesn't speak to the reality or truth of what you're "willing" to believe in. I don't dismiss the existence of God because I'm unwilling to believe in that God. I dismiss the God because I see no evidence that any deity exists. Will has nothing to do with it.

Then there's an article by Brian McLaren, a pastor and author, who says:
Of course, many people are more "orthodox" atheists of the naturalistic
sort, refusing to believe in anything beyond physics and mathematics. But
according to the Pew data, there are a significant number out there who at first
seem to be simply illogical by claiming both atheism and belief in some sort of
deity ... but with further conversation, it turns out they have an interesting
spiritual story full of unresolved tensions, and that story isn't finished yet.
Which is true of us all.

I believe in many things beyond physics and mathematics. I also don't have unresolved tensions that account for my atheism. In fact, atheism resolved many of my previous "unresolved tensions" provided by dogmatic religion and illogical belief. This "significant number" of people who "claim atheism" but also "belief in some sort of deity" are only atheists in the sense that they're rejecting certain types of gods. This is not true of all atheists and it's not true of all of humanity (as this author is suggesting).

Sally Quinn's article is interesting, if not contradictory at every turn. She begins with the familiar disclaimer that she considered herself an atheist for years ...but, "in the end, never denied the existence of God". Her reason for never denying the existence of God seems to revolve around her next statement which states we can never possibly know if God exists. Isn't this just tap-dancing? There are a great many things in life for which we, as humans, do not require absolute confirmation or evidence before ruling those things out. Does Mrs. Quinn believe in Noodly Appendages because she has no evidence that the FSM doesn't exist? Of course not.

The fourth article I've linked to is by Susan Jacoby. I can't say this any better than she has, so I will post two paragraphs from her article.

I suppose it's possible that some of the atheists who said they believed in
God were operating under the misapprehension that atheism means something like deism--belief not in a personal God but in an overarching providence, or spirit,
that gave rise to the universe but plays no direct role in the affairs of
humans. I suppose it is also possible that some of those polled, aware that
atheism is greatly stigmatized in American culture, wanted to make nice by
saying that they did believe in God in the same spirit that some women say, "I
am a feminist but...." The "but" is always followed by some silly, ingratiating
statement like, "I don't want to burn my bra" or "I like men. But atheism is
not a flexible word. That is, in fact, the reason why so many nonbelievers
prefer to call themselves agnostics. Indeed, the word "agnostic" was coined by
Thomas Henry Huxley, the great popularizer of Darwin's theory of evolution, as
an alternative to the much older, harsher-sounding word "atheist." Atheists are
people who don't believe in God. They do not claim (as some believers mistakenly think) to "know" that there is no God. What an honest atheist says is, "Given all the available evidence, I don't believe in a divine creator." An atheist can no more prove that there is no God than a believer can prove that there is one--but only believers claim to "know" that their religious convictions are true.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

"Ranch Wear"

2008-07-01T15:23:00.000-07:00

Leave it to the fundamental LDS polygamous to turn lemons into lemon-ade.
Apparently, during the time CPS had their children, the sister-wives of Warren Jeff's YFZ Ranch decided that idol hands were the devil's plaything. So, direct to you for only $69.95, you too may dress your child as a sister-wife in training. Size 2 and up!

An article, that can be found here, gives more details.

The FLDS hopes to raise money through sale of the clothing to help support
families from the Yearning For Zion ranch who now live in rental homes in cities
like San Antonio and Austin. Some families have returned to the ranch, but many
have not.

Based on the different message boards for the FLDS, I'm not sure this is accurate. But, whatever...just another day of bleeding the beast.

The Web site sells a wide array of clothing for children, from the "Teen
Princess Dress" for $60.65 to the "Baby Dress With Bloomers" for $48.07. Both
items, along with most others for girls, are available in a rainbow of pastels
from pink to yellow or lavender. Items for boys include denim overalls for
$65.93 and cotton-polyester shirts for $23.69.

Wow! It's pricey to look like a prairie muffin. Seriously, though... when P1 and I were doing civil war reenactments and 49er stuff, it cost me about $40 to make her dress and apron and hate. This isn't too bad. But, this is...

The web site said the clothes are made to meet the "FLDS standards for modesty and neatness." And all of the clothes are hand-made "with joy and care" by the FLDS women.

I'm going to quote Kathy Griffin on this one: "Burka bad!" Apparently, the FLDS standard for modesty is to leave no patch of skin, save the countenance, uncovered. What is with these fundy groups? You know, it is possible to dress your child modestly without setting her up for a Vitamin D deficiency. What gets me is that there are layers of protection on these girls. Dress it up in prairie garb and claim the holy high road if you want - you're still pimping your daughters out for sex with old men at age thirteen. That kind of negates my idea of purity.
(EDIT: I'd hat tip this to a reader, but I don't know which of you goes by that e-mail address and I wouldn't feel right directing christian dating sites to your blog by posting said address.)

For more shits and giggles, go check out the Atheist Experience blog. In summary: what happens when you make the computer scan through a news article and change the word "gay" to the word "homosexual". It works great until you have an Olympic bound athelete named Tyson GAY.
"Asked how he felt, Homosexual said: "A little fatigued."
(Apparently, this is on PZ's blog as well).

Reasons

2008-06-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

On my post about going to Cedars, I received the following comment:
Paladelicioso said...
I find it strange that you would go
to one of the best medical and research facilities in the world, and then
question the quality of care you are getting. Sounds like you don't want to get well.
11:11 AM

I gave a cursory response in the comment section for the post, but I wanted to address this for everyone to see (just in case there are others who feel this way).

I find it strange that Paladelicioso could've read the post (and the entire comment thread) without seeing that I posted several reasons why this surgical option is something I'm hesitant about. So, I'll put them in list form so that those who feel as he does may understand the full picture.
1. The comment that I "don't want to get well" makes me very angry. I have spent the last two years dealing with an illness that, at this point, has NO cure. We can manage the symptoms, but that's about it. I would *love* a cure. I find myself wishing for one on a daily basis. But, the truth is that there isn't one that exists and, as such, I will never "get well". Consequently, even if I had the surgery for the kidney, it is not going to make me well.
2. I never questioned the quality of care I received. I questioned the procedure. I questioned the way in which it was presented and, what I perceived as, the eagerness of a physician to leap to surgery without having all the appropriate information. Surgery, no matter how safe we think it is, carries risk. If you don't go into a surgery with the desire to minimize those risks, or if you ignore the risks, then you are stupid. As it stands, I have risk factors that many people do not have and I want those risk factors addressed.
3. I think it's the responsibility of every patient to question their physicians and the proposed options. Why wouldn't you give this due diligence? "Medical experts" are human. They're not gods. They can, and do, make mistakes. They also do wonderful things for many, many others. But, I have four children. I can't afford to consent to a procedure while I have questions.
4. My husband and I agree completely on these points. Would you have the gall to say that *he* didn't want me to get well?
5. I've dealt with lupus for nine years. The surgeon may know everything there is to know about urologic or nephrologic surgery, but I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't up-to-date on lupus. Furthermore, I know my body. I know what it can and can't handle. If simply driving to a doctors appointment makes my blood pressure go up, blisters my skin, and wrecks me with fevers and exhaustion for weeks (just from an hour in the car!), then how on earth would I survive a surgical procedure and the two hour drive home?

Bottom line: You don't know me. You don't know my entire medical history. You're not going to find many atheists who go into major decisions without having a clear and complete understanding of what it is they're getting into. And, one doctor -even a specialist- is one doctor. He's human...not a God. It's my right and responsibility to get other opinions. I didn't slander the physician. I didn't suggest the quality of care was bad. So, please keep your bullshit, insulting commentary to yourself.

Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names

2008-06-27T17:19:00.000-07:00

We have Calludus to thank for that witty title. Before I deal with the drama, let me just say that you guys are hysterical. Any comment thread that goes from "Mafia God" to anal probing and el chupacabra is fantastic.

Anyway...well, wow! I think you all may have said everything there is to say (in response to Michelle). I am not a big fan of the dead horse, but I do need to say a few things. Get comfy.

Michelle said...The Lord spoke to you, pm!! He spoke to your heart. This need to
pray is good since it proves you have no lost the holy spirit. He will not
forsake you even when you've forsaken him.

I don't feel, nor have I ever felt, like I have been forsaken by a deity. Bad things happen to good people. I understand that you think that statement would give someone hope, but it doesn't help.

Don't fight the feeling to pray. What can it hurt to follow that impulse?
He may not take the pain as we all need pain to be healthy but I know in my
heart that he would relieve suffering.

First off, you're assuming that I had a "feeling to pray". I don't know where you got that from. What I wrote was: "I wish I could pray to stop this pain." Being that I don't believe in God, I can't appeal to said deity for relief. Furthermore, there are times when prayer hurts. Take, for an example, all of the cases where fundamentalists decide to fore go medical treatment in favor of prayer. If your child had meningitis and all you do is pray, then your prayers and faith are harming the child. Additionally, if your God uses pain to make people believe, then your God is unworthy of worship. Sadism is not a quality one should expect from a "benevolent and just God."

This is the blessing we have been praying you would receive. Every night we
gather and ask god to grant your heart the light of his heavenly plan.

Anything for the team, eh? Seriously! You don't get it, do you? These two sentences, more than any others in your post, reflect a twisted logic. God's heavenly plan, which you prayed for, was to create a situation where a person was in excruciating pain? Your God, allegedly, has all the powers of the universe, but he has to use pain to "light the way"?

Your desire to pray came from the heart. Your heart is the only part of your
body who keeps the spirit for times like these.

I didn't have a desire to pray. My heart is an organ that pumps blood throughout my body through a series of well-established muscular contractions. It is not a receptacle for prayer, god, or any other emotion.

You can ask him to love on you. If he uses pain to get you to come back to Him
he will and He has. Glory be to Him.It is now your turn to accept Him.

Again...this is frightening. What's a little blackmail between shepherds and their flock? Do you not realize how horrible that sounds? "Glory be to God for using suffering to draw in recruits." It's coercion of the worst sort. That anyone would teach their children this is sad. It's too much like the person who claims that the abusive husband hits his wife to prove how much he loves her.

That means you never believed in the power of the One and Almighty.

Isn't that convenient?

Catholicism was what wronged you. That is why you are an atheist. It is
why you struggle now. Catholics put up spiritual road blocks but you don't need
an intercessory to ask God to come in and fill your soul. Please do not let this
chance to know our loving Father pass.

As others have said, you really need to do your research before speaking as an authority on other religions. Catholicism didn't "wrong me". It's just no longer for me. I can't agree with the dogma or doctrine. That said, I also don't agree with the new breed of evangelical fundamentalists who proclaim Catholicism as a "dead church". A church is a church is a church. Drawing lines about which beliefs are justifiable within a church is irony at its finest.

I'm going to have to stop here.

Long Days and Observation

2008-06-25T19:24:00.000-07:00

I had my appointment at Cedars-Sanai, yesterday. It didn't go like I hoped it would, but I guess thems' the breaks. Frankly, I knew going in that this doctor is a prominent surgeon in his field, but I was hoping he wouldn't be quick to try that option in my case. I was wrong. What really disappointed me was that I was being handed surgery paperwork before I saw the doctor. What the hell? On one hand, I guess that by the time you're sent to him, the problem is likely bad and he's just assuming you're going to jump at any solution he presents. On the other hand, I'm of the (apparently naive) belief that medical professionals should see the patients and read the chart before suggesting major surgery. Anyway, I don't know what I'm going to do at this point. I just know that as much as my left kidney is a pain just inches above my ass, I do like having it and am not eager to get rid of it or have it filled with plastic. Watching P1 go through a nephrectomy and multiple surgeries gave me an insight to that sort of approach and, though it was the right thing for her, it's not for me. So...what does this have to do with atheism?

Since March 21, I've passed four stones a week (or more). There's no getting around that pain- even with narcotics. I can personally attest to the fact that, yes, it is worse than giving birth. The pain of giving birth has a purpose - you get a cute little baby who you love so intensely that you forget the ordeal of birth within minutes. But, kidney stones are ugly and excruciating. Anyway, last week, while laying on my bathroom floor because I couldn't wake Pdaddy up to help me get to bed, I had this momentary, fleeting thought that "I wish I could pray to stop this pain." *pause* Yeah. It caught me off guard. I don't know where, other than pure pain, it came from. I never prayed from relief from pain or illness even when I was a believer. And, that's the point I'm trying to get to: how much of belief is wanting the option to believe that a deity will here you and care enough to help? How much of belief is a response to not wanting to deal with life's crappy parts by yourself? I would guess that it's a big part of why people believe. If Pdaddy or my kids had been there to help distract me or get me back in bed, then I have no doubt I would've never got to the point where I would think about appealing to a deity. Religion preys on vulnerability. It appeals to you at the exact moments when you're dealing with something outside your power to control and when you feel there's no one who can help. I don't know if my prayer thought came from years of Catholic conditioning or desperation - maybe both. But, those are really bad reasons to believe. Why would any deity, or religion, want to manipulate people in the worst hours of your life? It's dysfunctional.

Then I saw the little pamphlet on the doctor's counter, yesterday. I meant to grab a copy so I could scan it, but...I was a crying mess when we finally left. It said something like, "In your moment of need, please don't hesitate to dial extension XXX and request a spiritual leader of your faith...We care about your whole health." It was the last part that seemed out of place. "We care about your whole health." I don't know why that bothers me. If you have an idea and can phrase what it is that bugs me about that, then please leave your insight here.

Anyway, when we left, we took Sunset Blvd. through Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Bel Air, and Westwood to get to the 405. Dealing with the 101 didn't appeal to us at 3:30pm. But, I digress. We went past the Roxy and the Whisky-a-go-go. For those who aren't familiar with the Hollywood scene, these are famous night clubs. They're places where bands and comedians make names for themselves. Anyway, outside of both were guys holding sandwich board signs. Because I was in the back of our mini-van, on an air mattress, I only saw a few of the signs, but I saw enough. One said, "Don't Support Satan" on the front, with an address for a church on the back. Another said, "Death metal is deadly." (front) and "He loves you." The third guy's boards said "Hollywood - Land of sin and vice."

Ok. For one, if they're trying to reach the people who go to these clubs, then maybe 3:30 in the afternoon is the wrong time. In fact, I question their commitment to the cause. If they really wanted to reach the intended audience, then 3:30am would seem like a better time. No? The sign that said "He loves you." was very funny because it was so vague and, at one point, he was standing next to the guy with the sign that said "Don't support Satan." LOL As for the "Land of Sin and Vice", I really thought that was Vegas? Religious people like this have far too much free time. And, $20 says that these holy rollers were members of the audience in the 80's. I'm sure they've burned the pictures of themselves looking like Dee Snyder and jonesing for hookers and blow. Good times.

Say what?

2008-06-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

We've all heard them. Usually, they're tossed out in the middle of a debate. Occasionally, you here them in conversations between atheists and theists. And, you're almost sure to hear them when theists don't know you're listening. They're logically unsound and, often, completely pompous and/or irrational. What are they? They are, what I like to call, little nuggets of Christ-love. Just today, I've read quite a few:
1. "It is your choice--it is your life in eternity. I choose to believe in God."
2. "It (atheism) is like dealing with a person addicted to drugs...I love the person, but I don't have to love what he does."
3. "These are my choices. I have made them, I will be persecuted for them. Jesus said, "The world hates me, therefore, they will hate you too!"
4. "Atheists are sad people who can't love so they tear all love away from them because it hurts to have god's love if you won't accept it."
5. "If you don't believe in God, why do you keep obsessing about HIM?"
6. "God cares so much that He will keep that burr under your saddle and keep you agonizing."
7. "Rape is in the Bible because it is a parable. The stories of rape teach women to be pure and chaste' because looking for sex or dressing immodestly is asking for men to rape you spiritually."
8. "You are moral because God put morals in your heart. You can't help it."
9. "Most afflictions are given to in the womb because God knows your heart before you are born."
10. "Atheists have no value."
11. "My wisdom comes from scripture. Not logic."
12. "Atheist evolution supporters say that there was a big bang that created life but every big bang I've seen kills life. There for they don't make any sense."
13. "You're an atheist because you don't want to follow the rules God gives you."
14. "Satan has made you think appearances of happy are happy when it is sad you feel."
15. "What if you're wrong? What are you going to say to God?"

The first three came from one person, in one paragraph.

I'm posting this because I've had theist friends say, "It's not that bad." or "The perception that theists don't like atheists is in your head." I beg to differ. These examples are pretty tame. I know every one of my atheist readers has run into these and similar/worse statements. Let's hear em'!

Introducing the new blog mods!

2008-06-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

I've only got a moment (P3 is having her first slumber party here with her friend), but I wanted to let everyone know that this blog has two moderators now.
Berlzebub, of Berlzebub's Inferno, and...
Milo Johnson, of Jones Alley., have the ability to delete any comment that breaks the commenting rules on the left side of the main page. This will, hopefully, stop the parade of people who leave rude or strange anonymous comments and gratuitous blog linking. Thank you!

Updates and responses

2008-06-20T01:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why my font is weird, but I'll work with it. My inbox has been flooded this week. As a result, there are some updates I need to post.
1. After reading about the botched interview, a reader who happens to be a journalist for a Dutch lifestyle and parenting periodical has asked if I would do an interview for her. She is building an article about what it's like to be an American atheist with "such a large family". I'm still adjusting to the fact that most people think our family is "large". She explained to me that the Netherlands is predominantly secular and, apparently, I have a few fans within her circle of friends. This would explain why my google dashboard rates the Netherlands in the top five countries where my blog is read. Anyway, she was explaining to me how hard it is for people in the Netherlands to understand the controversy of American atheism and, additionally, the pressure to be religious on families in the United States. She's asked me for the names of a few other atheists (preferably those who've been atheists for longer than five years) and I've suggested a few of you. If you receive an e-mail from Marit, you'll know what it's about.
2. I can't stress enough how well this window film is working for us. I knew that the real test would be summer. The central valley of California has brutal heat in summer. It is not uncommon to go for two months without dipping below 100F (38C). We're also in an environment where it's rarely cloudy in the summer and the pollution levels actually can intensify the UV. Last summer, I wouldn't dare spend any time in the living room because it resulted in intense blistering and pain. But, this year it's not a problem at all. I get a bit pink, but that's completely do-able. I've also noticed that, because I'm able to retreat into our house, with the UV protection (and my bedroom where they used a darker/higher blocking film), I don't blister as fast on the rare occasion when I do have to venture outside. I'm still stuck at home with the exception of medical appointments, but at least now I can roam around the house during the day time. So, huge thanks are, once again, in order: THANK YOU!
3. I think all of my close, close friends have been told via phone, but it's time to tell the rest of my friends and family about my newest hurdle. I've had at least four kidney stones every week since March 21. Scans of the kidneys show that the left kidney is beginning to calcify faster than what we've observed in the past. This led my doctors to take a look at my parathyroid. It turns out I have an adenoma on one of the parathyroid glands and that is responsible for the kidney stones and intense bone pain I've had. This is something that can be managed (even though I think I should be exempt from any other health issues). But, for the time being, I am on heavy medications so I can be as pain free as possible. Which...which means I'm sleeping 16-19 hours a day. It's the only way I can dodge the pain. As a result, I'm not on here much in the day time and would love it if one of my regular bloggers could step in and keep an eye on my comments. I hate the fact that, like this morning, a commenter who wasn't following my comment policy was viewable on the blog for many hours before I got to check my blog. If you have known me for a while and want to help out, drop me an e-mail and I'll figure out some way to make you a moderator on the blog. It would really help me out.
And now, I shall respond to some of the more colorful comments on my last entry.

Promisekept said...
I remember what anon said. You should not have deleted
it sense he had much to say to you that you need to listen to. I thought you liked open minded people so what is your excuse for deleting a mans comment because you don't agree.

Open-minded doesn't apply to people who try to leave anonymous sermons on the blog despite clear rules that state it won't be tolerated. If the anonymous poster wanted to share his thoughts, then he/she should've taken the time to read the rules. You probably have no idea how frustrating it is to try and have a discussion or debate when there are three people who call themselves "anonymous" on one entry. The fact that I allow people to use the "name/website" feature without logging in encourages an open atmosphere. I deleted his comment without even reading it because it's unfair to allow some to comment anonymously while others have respected the guidelines.

He didn't attack in rude fashion. We Christians feel bad when we see a person who God is trying to fill with spirit and they just don't want that help from Him.

He didn't "attack", but from what I've heard and seen (from what people have quoted), he wasn't exactly polite. Please do not feel as if you need to "feel bad" for me. I'm happy. I love my life. I love my family. I have good friends. I find fulfillment using the tools I value: reason, logic, the scientific method, and that which is based in reality. I understand that you feel your God is very, very real. But, I disagree. And, if your God is beyond human description and "works in mysterious ways", then how is it you can speak as an authority on who God has "filled with the spirit"? And, can you show me some evidence of this spirit and how you would measure it?

Anon said before you deleted:"I have read your blog for a long time and
it is my prayer that you will keep on obssessing about Christianity. It seems the whole of your existence to think about these things constantly.

Interesting. In over four hundred posts, I have never been accused of "obsessing on Christianity". I don't think that's an accurate statement. Most of my entries are about the world as I see and experience it and I don't go out of my way to find Christians to bash. There *are* some bloggers who *do* participate in that sort of thing, but it's not my cup of tea. I *do* blog about instances where theists are trying to disregard the rights of secular people or trying to legislate their religious beliefs into law or promoting false information regarding atheism. And, if you can honestly read this blog and think that blogging (about Christianity or atheism or any other topic) is my existence, then you must be blind. It's obvious to anyone who is honest and objective that my children are my biggest obsession and that the majority of time is spent with my family. Accusing me of thinking about Christianity constantly is a reflection of what you wish I was doing. Forget how wrong you are: How arrogant can you be?

The Holy Spirit must want you pretty badly to work this hard for your
soul."

What kind of drivel is this? Seriously...are you honestly suggesting that my atheism is a sign that the unproven, holy spirit is working on my soul? If your deity exists, then I would much rather that deity work to provide clean water for people drinking out of tainted sources or feeding starving children. That your deities priority would be "work(ing) hard for (my) soul" is a lame statement about your deities priorities. In fact, if your deity were to come to the earth and eliminate, in an instant, all of the problems inherent with poverty and over-population in third world countries, then I might actually have a reason to believe. If your deity prioritized getting rid of pedophiles and child molesters, then he'd score more points in my book. If you deity cured cancer,...well, you get the picture. I don't think I can respect or worship any deity whose priorities are so out of whack.

"I think he must know what an awesome Christian you would
make."

Been there, done that...didn't get a choir robe.
If you're of the belief that your God would see someone like me as an "awesome Christian", then your deity is missing some very crucial parts of who I am. Even when I was a Christian (of the Catholic variety), I was skeptical of the things we were supposed to accept as truth. I find the Bible to be a horrible guide for humanity, for it justifies far too many un-humanitarian actions. I don't put much store in things that aren't tangible. I don't believe in extraordinary claims without being shown extraordinary evidence. And, to round out the short list of "why I'd make a terrible Christian", I have no desire to raise children with the threat of hell while brandishing the rod (Proverbs 13-24). I find some of the parenting methods championed by high profile Christians to be without compassion and wisdom. Since my children are my world, I couldn't place them in an environment where I felt that they may be harmed (even if the harm was done by well intentioned people). There's enough of that in the world without sanctifying it on Sunday mornings.

"This blog gives me hope that God cares so much that He will keep that
burr under your saddle and keep you agonizing."

Agonizing over what? And, why on earth would you worship a god that would intentionally hurt (physically or mentally) a human being? That says a lot about you and how you perceive love. What kind of dysfunctional crap is that? It's too much like an abusive husband who tells his wife that he's beating her for her own good...y'know, maybe she'll change her behavior and get on board. How can you support that? That god fails the test of benevolence.

"It shows just how much he loves you to put this much effort into a single soul and the souls of your children through you."
See above. My children are invaluable and special without pretending that they've been infused with your God. I love my children for exactly who they are. I don't need a deity to tell me how wonderful they are and how lucky I am to be their mother. They are loving, compassionate, brilliant children who have never been subjected (or greatly exposed) to the cruelty found in the Bible or the message that they will never be good enough. Your God tells you that you're a sinner. Your God tells you that without him, you are nothing. Your God asks for total and complete devotion with the threat of eternal pain and suffering hanging over your head if you don't comply. Tell me, please, how that is in any way acceptable. And, then, tell me how, as a parent (if you are one), you would condone that sort of mental abuse placed on your child's shoulders?

Advice and Crayolas

2008-06-19T00:14:00.000-07:00

First, I found this letter in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Billy Graham (yes, that Billy Graham) apparently gives advice in the Seattle PI. He received the following note from someone who goes by the initials GP.

DEAR DR. GRAHAM: I want to make myself clear: I have no interest in God or religion, and I don't care who knows it. As far as I'm concerned, God doesn't exist, and this life is all there is. Don't even bother to write me back, because I'm not interested. -- G.P

I don't know what the catalyst for the note was. It seems odd to me that any atheist would just up and write Billy Graham a note like this. Perhaps Graham wrote an article that spoke of atheism or atheists and made some faulty assumptions? Or, perhaps GP just likes to stir the pot? Or, maybe GP isn't really an atheist, but is a Graham fan who wanted to give Billy Graham a chance to address atheists? I'm voting for the third option, but I have no proof that that's the case.

Here is Graham's response...

DEAR G.P.: To be frank, it sounds to me as if down inside you actually do know that God exists; otherwise, why would you be fighting so strenuously against Him and trying to keep Him out of your life? Or why would you even bother to write me?

While I can understand asking GP why he/she wrote in (especially if they didn't want a response), the first part seems odd. Billy Graham's assumptions about this person, based on three sentences seems a bit too rehearsed and perfect. Why would Graham, who likely gets way better letters than this, with thoughtful arguments, choose this to respond to? Setting that aside, it's quite presumptive for Graham to say that GP is "fighting so strenuously against God" to "keep Him out of (his/her) life." I didn't realize a three sentence e-mail to a celebrity reverend is a "strenuous fight" against a deity.

After all, why fight against something (or Someone) that doesn't even exist (as you claim)? If you were really convinced God didn't exist, the logical thing for you to do would be to ignore Him. But you aren't ignoring Him -- and the more you fight against God, the more you are in danger of persuading yourself that He actually does exist.

Well, Mr. Graham, one should switch it up and ask this: If you are truly convinced that atheists don't exist, then the logical thing for you to do would be to ignore atheists. The more you fight against atheists, the more you are in danger of persuading yourself that atheists have a point and might be right. Furthermore, most atheists aren't speaking out against God as if he exists. Most atheists are speaking out against the ramifications we see in people who do believe. We're responding not to a god we don't believe in (hence why it's impossible for atheists to hate God...you can't hate something that doesn't exist), but to the very real friends, family, community, law makers, and other humans who *do* believe and use that belief to control the lives of others.

Have you ever honestly asked yourself why you don't believe in God?

I don't know about GP, but I can answer that with an emphatic "yes!" In fact, it was the honest self-examination that led me to atheism. I'm not saying it's impossible for some one to have an unconsidered position about God, but...it would be pretty damn rare. Again, this letter seems like a set-up. Graham is getting to address every non-sequitor and stereotype of atheists/atheism.

I'm sure you could list many "reasons" why you've rejected Him; most professed atheists can. But are they the real reason? I doubt it. I suspect the real reason you've rejected God is because you want to be free to run your own life -- and you know that won't be possible once you admit God exists.

So, he's sure GP could list many reasons for non-belief, and agrees that most atheists actually have asked themselves honest questions, but he's just going to assume that GP hasn't asked himself "why you don't believe in God?"?

In addition, how do you decide whether a reason is real or not? I don't believe in God because I've seen no evidence that such an entity exists. How do you determine if that's a real or fake reason? Furthermore, why do theists continue to hang on to the idea that atheists have chosen atheism because we want to be free of God's rules? And, is Billy Graham saying that, despite all the wonderful benefits of belief, he's not free to run his own life? If he's not running it, then who is? I hope someone writes in, as a follow-up, and asks Graham if he doesn't believe in Allah because he wants to be free to run his own life without the limitations of Islam. I'd also like to ask Mr. Graham how an atheist can reject a god when there's no god to reject?

You may have rejected God -- but He has not rejected you! He loves you and yearns for you to come to Him and discover the peace and hope that come from knowing Christ. Jesus was God in human flesh, and He came to show us what God is like. The Bible says, "No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only (Son), who is at the Father's side, has made him known" (John 1:18).

That's interesting. If the Christian God has not rejected atheists, then the ultimate, unforgivable sin (blasphemy) isn't so ultimate or unforgivable. It's odd that, when theists run into atheists who are set in their position, they bust out with Pascal's Wager or some rant fest' about how blasphemy is something you can't take back and their God hates blasphemers, but... put them in-front of someone who might not be so sure, or a bunch of people they want to convert, and it's all about how much their deity loves you and wants you. What a fickle deity!

In other news, we have been in a coloring frenzy this week. Even Pdaddy and I have got involved. I'd forgotten how soothing it is. You may even see the elusive mother possum.

Some observations:
1. Do you think we have enough Crayons? The plastic drawer/box has crayons from when Pdaddy and I were kids. We even have the non-PC colors - "Indian Red", anyone?
2. P1 organizes her crayons by color and hue/shade. NERD! If only she were that organized with her bedroom.

Bogus Interview

2008-06-15T23:24:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I was asked to give an interview for a sort-of local parenting magazine. Because I'm in no hurried to get sued, I'm not going to give the name of the magazine or contact. Instead, I'll call the magazine "ParentsRUs" (PRU) and the contact "Betty". Her first e-mail read as follows:
Possummomma, My name is Betty and I'm a reporter for PRU magazine. At
ParentsRUs, we are committed to gathering information from all manner of
families. I googled atheist mom and found your blog. A well received
blog. Can I inquire how large your audience is?....blah, blah, blah...we
are beginning a series on parents of different faiths. Would you be our
atheist representative? The interview would take approximately thirty
minutes and we will require contact information for five readers to obtain
quotes to support your article. *insert contact info and the standard "if
you have any questions..." verbage* - Sincerely, Betty

I responded and said that I was game to do an interview, but I would not give her any contact information for my readers that wasn't already obtainable from the site. I explained to her that some people are not "out" as atheists and seeing their name in print in a magazine could be a bad thing for their families. I also asked that my last name not be published. She replied that e-mails and first names would be fine. I also asked her to e-mail me a set of questions before the interview so I could prepare. She spoke with her boss and the boss said okay to my conditions.

Two weeks later, I received this e-mail:
...Sorry it's taken me this long to get the questions to you. Can we
set something in two weeks time?

I told her that week would be too hectic with family in town and end of school activities. So, we agreed on the following week. The questions are below (with my answers). All of these were things she could ask in the interview. When I saw the questions, I was baffled (you'll see why in a moment). I would think being an atheist would make some of those questions worthless! So I called her office and left a message. When Betty returned my call, I told her that some of those questions (most, in fact) didn't apply to us. She asked which ones. Um..let's see...how about all of the questions that presume we actually believe in a god, have a religion, or participate in a particular faith? She did one of those "silly you" laughs and said, wait for it..."Atheism is a faith just like any other." *head desk* I told her it wasn't and she blew me off by saying, "Just send me a draft of your answers and maybe we can change the questions up as necessary."

So...I did.
1. Your name, age, marital status, education, occupation and faith. - *personal info*
2. If married, name of spouse and his occupation, education, faith. - *more personal info*
3. Name(s) and age (s) of child(ren). - Alexis (13), Jake (12, by the time this publishes), Grace (5), and Owen (4, by publishing).
4. Were you born into the faith you claim now? - No. I was born an atheist and my parents made me Catholic.
4.a Answer for spouse. - He was raised an catholic and is now a cultural catholic, firm agnostic
5. How does your faith contribute to your daily life? - It doesn't. Atheism is not a faith.
6. At what frequency do you attend worship services/church? - The kids occasionally attend with their friends.
7. What services do you give to your church, if any? - None, atheists don't typically attend churches, so we don't often get asked to join church groups.
8. Are the children in religious education or faith based programs? - Our eldest was going to go to Camp Quest this summer, but it's not a faith based program. It is a camp for free-thinkers, atheists and agnostics, and secular children.
9. How faithful would you say your family is on a scale of one to ten, ten being most faithful? - 0 - hence the atheism.
10. Does your religion impact your house rules (radio, television, movies, books, time)? - No. But, we do apply common sense about what things might be appropriate or inappropriate for each child. Almost any book is fair game. We encourage reading as many books as possible.
11. Which is more important for your children's future - faith, education, or both? - Education, without a doubt.
12. If your child(ren) chose a different faith would you allow them to do that? - It's entirely up to them. I love my children and will support any choices they make so long as they are informed decisions and do not harm others.
13. What special religious holidays or rituals have you participated in with your children? - Darwin Day, National Day of Reason, Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, Fat Tuesday, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving,...most holidays have been stripped of their religious significance in this country and are carried out as a cultural celebration. We'll take any opportunity to enjoy our children as they celebrate the fantastic culture and diversity this country has.
14. Do you ever feel persecuted for your religious beliefs? - I don't have "religious beliefs". We have had some difficulties with religious people who can't respect our philosophy of secular humanism. For some reason, it scares theists to imagine that children can be raised with high morals and standards with the inclusion of positive philosophies from the past and present.
15. Have your children had positive experiences in your family's faith? - For the most part, I would say "yes". Although, as I've said, it's not a faith. We believe in reason, logic, evidence, and truth. None of those carry any problems in an open and loving home. I imagine that it's wonderful for a child to be treated with great respect and appreciation of their unique talents.
16. How long have you belonged to your current church/place of worship? - We have been active in the atheist community for a couple of years.
17. Does your faith effect what products you buy for your family? - I'm unsure as to how to answer this. We don't buy Bibles. And, we try not to buy products that are manufactured under unethical or inhumane circumstances.
18. How do you educate your children? Do you homeschool? If so, what materials do you use? Are you following a faith based program? - Our children go to public school with heavy supplementing during home hours. We encourage the kids to study subjects or topics they show any interest in by buying them books, getting them in touch with people who use those interests in their occupations, and/or seeking out places that add to those interests.
19. Has your faith made you a stronger family unit? - If you need faith to strengthen your parenting, then I suspect you're doing it wrong.
20. Do you discuss the following openly with your children; faith, religion, God, ethics, and/or the texts of your faith? - Yes. Although, there are no texts for atheism. We encourage the kids to learn about all faiths. We also encourage them to read books by Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and other scientists and atheists.
21. Who is your family's spiritual guide or role model? - We don't have a spiritual guide. But, we have many role models.
22. How has your faith helped you parent? - I still object to calling atheism a faith, but the values of atheism encourage free thought, the scientific method, applying ethics because it's the right thing to do (as opposed to a set of rules to avoid an unproven hell), listening to their ideas, and inspiring them to be great men and women.
23. Does your faith influence your choices for your child's friends? - No
24. Would you allow them to cultivate friendships outside your faith? - Of course!
25. Do your children show any signs of being leaders within your faith? - I think my children will grow up to be great thinkers. My wish is that they be happy and fulfilled. My goal is to prepare them to be whatever they wish to be. They are already leaders in their respective classrooms and aimed to do even more.

I got a response from Betty who thanked me for my time and then said, "We've decided to go a different direction with this series."
WTF, CHUCK!?!

An interesting response to the last post...

2008-06-12T17:50:00.001-07:00

A reader who calls himself "J" left a comment on my last blog entry. After I finished giggling while thinking of the movie Men In Black ("All hail J! All hail J. Oh J can you see..."), I decided that J's comment should be made a topic of discussion. Here is J's comment:

J said...
Possum and Atheist Crew,You are partially correct and heavy
handed evangelization should never happen. The Lord has called Christians to
“Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of
the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all
that I have commanded you.” (Matt 28: 19-20) But, as Saint Francis of Assisi
once said “Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary” sadly not
enough of my Brothers and Sisters in Christ heed this advice. Also, we are
taught that religion shouldn’t be a private matter that we should not be afraid
to express our love for the Lord in a society that a lot of times hates what we
stand for. The one issue I do have is Atheist evangelization. I hear it all the
time that non-believers just want to be left alone, but at the same time some
atheist have no problem pushing their “non-beliefs” on others. So while you may
not believe that Jesus was the Son of God (God himself) or that there is even a
God at all. I would at least ask that you heed his calling to “Love your
neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31), I think we can all do that.Peace and God
bless,J

Here are my thoughts, J.

Possum and Atheist Crew,You are partially correct and heavy handed
evangelization should never happen.

I have an "Atheist Crew"? Sweet! :)
Partially correct? I don't think "heavy handed" evangelism should EVER happen. It's counter-productive. When there is a possibility for discussion and debate, why would anyone choose the heavy handed approach? The only reason I can think of is when their argument begins to deteriorate and they loose the desire to behave in a civil fashion.

The Lord has called Christians to “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all
nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the
holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” (Matt 28:
19-20)

I understand that this is what you feel to be true. The issue we run into, though, is that I do not believe those words are any more useful than the words in any other book in the library. I don't think they are the inspired and divine product of a supernatural deity. To me, and many others throughout the world, they're no more important than the command to preheat my over to 400 because the Good Cookbook says so. And, why obey that command and not the others? I know you're probably thinking that I'm being flip or obtuse, but I am asking out of genuine curiosity. I don't understand how you can hold up a few of the commands in the Bible, but not the others.

But, as Saint Francis of Assisi once said “Preach the Gospel at all times. Use
words if necessary” sadly not enough of my Brothers and Sisters in Christ heed
this advice.

I agree. A lot of your brethren use the command in Matt 28: 19-20 as an excuse to berate, belittle, and beat about those who have are different than themselves. When a grown man hunts down a child to give her a Bible, he uses that Matt 28: 19-20 to justify his actions. When a man sends a threatening and scary e-mail to a child, they are using that passage to justify they're actions. When a Christian missionary that I know went into a male dominated, Islamic culture and shoved a Bible into the hands of a girl she met, was she thinking about the trouble she might be bringing to that girl? Was she aware that just having a Bible, in that culture, was punishable with physical violence? Was she thinking about the fact that her Islamic fiance' to be, who was to take the girl to America so they could have a better life, might cancel the engagement? In this case, I know without doubt, that the missionary could not see these things. Her passion for spreading the Bible made her act without compassion. I asked her if she'd thought about these things, after her return, and without hesitation, she quoted Matthew 28. So, you see, that passage can be used to justify so many wrong actions that I question how a benevolent or omniscient god might have allowed someone to write that down in a religious text? You would think that an all-knowing, all powerful deity would recognize how open that command is and how prideful use of that command would justify a multitude of sins against their neighbors.

Also, we are taught that religion shouldn’t be a private matter that we should
not be afraid to express our love for the Lord in a society that a lot of times
hates what we stand for.

That is what YOU are taught. You can't speak for all Christians. It's clear that there are quite a few denominations of Christianity who would find your statement to be incorrect. If Christians are taught that religion is a private matter, then why do they want to pray in classrooms? Why do they want to teach creationism and intelligent design in public schools? If they were taught that religion is a private matter, then I fail to see how they would feel empowered to ask someone if they're "in Christ" and "What church do you go to?" within the first five minutes of making their acquaintance. I could go on, but I'll stop here. The point: you may have been taught that religion was a private matter, but I don't think everyone got the memo. Expressing your love for your faith is fine! I completely agree with you that people should have the right to feel or take comfort in their faith. Your last sentence, however, makes me wonder how much of your faith is based on self-fulfilling prophecies of persecution and projection? I don't hate Christians. I don't even hate what they stand for (most of the time). What I object to is the idea that their faith/religion should define society. I object to the legislation and politicalization of faith.

The one issue I do have is Atheist evangelization. I hear it all the time that
non-believers just want to be left alone, but at the same time some atheist have
no problem pushing their “non-beliefs” on others.

I'm going to have to ask you for examples of how atheists are "pushing their non-belief on others". And, I've never said I wanted to be left alone...in fact, that's the point of this blog: to find a like-minded group of people to build friendships and community with. Pointing out scientific fact and asking for evidence before believing in something is not "pushing non-belief". Speaking out about our atheism is not "pushing non-belief", any more so that this very e-mail you've sent is pushing your beliefs. I think it's interesting that any evangelical Christian could make the accusation that pushing a personal belief on others is wrong. They're being hypocritical. I really hope you'll show me these incidents of atheist evangelism.

So while you may not believe that Jesus was the Son of God (God himself) or that
there is even a God at all. I would at least ask that you heed his calling to
“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31), I think we can all do that

I heed that advice because it's timeless advice. It can be attributed to cultures and faiths that predate Christianity by hundreds upon hundreds of years. It's not "his" calling. It's the calling of the ancients.

"Do not to your neighbor what you would take ill from him." (Pittacus)[1]
"Avoid doing what you would blame others for doing." (Thales)[2]
"What you wish your neighbors to be to you, such be also to them." (Sextus the Pythagorean)[3]
"Do not do to others what would anger you if done to you by others." (Isocrates)[4]
"What thou avoidest suffering thyself seek not to impose on others." (Epictetus)[5]

"Putting oneself in the place of another,
one should not kill nor cause another to kill.
One who, while himself seeking happiness, oppresses with violence other
beings who also desire happiness, will not attain happiness hereafter." - Buddha

"Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself." Analects XV.24 - Confucious
"Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you." - Muhhamed
The list goes on and on... Peace!

Just keep swimming...

2008-06-10T20:57:00.001-07:00

If you want to see a slide show of the kids at swim lessons, then you can go here.

I have received a lot of advice and information from you guys regarding the weird e-mails. Thank you! I have enough info now. It amazes me when any theist says, "No! You are not being treated badly because you're an atheist. Nobody cares!" Then, without fail, some fundagelical bonehead goes and does something to prove that that statement is naive. Some theists most certainly do have problems with atheists and they're not shy about sharing those problems. If, as a Christian, you think you need to force your religion onto others, then you're betraying your own insecurities. If you can't do anything but pick on secular folk, then you're not really devoting your life to your chosen deity - you're devoting your life to perfecting your "holier-than-though" attitude. When you e-mail or tell a child that there's an "especially painful hell for blasphemers.", then you are an asshole who gets off on scaring children. Plain and simple.

Weird emails?

2008-06-10T15:10:00.001-07:00

I'm getting weird e-mails from some guy. I'm not posting his name because I'm not giving him any publicity. But, they are slightly disturbing. The e-mail was sent to just a few, including; PZ, Richard Dawkins, James Randi, Shermer, Infidel Guy and people at atheist.org. But, it's the second one I've received and it's crazy. Anyone else get this guy's e-mail? If so, please contact me.

Bibles at school?

2008-06-09T22:30:00.000-07:00

I'm really starting to feel ashamed at the city I live in. Take a look at this...
Not surprisingly, I have an "in" on this story. I have several friends with kids at this school.

"Students from Stockdale High School are upset after being told by the school
district they can't hand out Bibles to fellow classmates. "

Yeah. Ummm. Not really.
Brant Bonetti, the young man in question, brought out the Bibles to hand them out in tandem with yearbooks. As a student would approach the table to get their yearbook, Bonetti asked them if they wanted a Bible. He was NOT told he couldn't hand Bibles out to other students, just that he could not do so during school hours, on school property, during a school sanctioned activity (handing out yearbooks).

Administrators said while the students have good intentions, the Bibles cannot
be distributed.

Again...this is not quite true. Bonetti stated that these Bibles were "for his friends and fellow grads". He was told by administration, after they received calls from STUDENTS who felt weird about this, that he had to hand the Bibles out on his own time. That's a far cry from saying "you may not hand these out" period.

One student said the district has violated the student's first amendment rights.
The Kern High School District said rules are rules and they stand by their
decision. Stockdale High graduate Brant Bonetti, it all started with a simple
yet thoughtful idea. We raised money earlier in the year, about $1,700 to go
ahead and buy Bibles, said Bonetti. Enough so that if every graduating senior
wanted one they could have one.

And, what about those who did not want one? Giving out a Bible to your friends is a thoughtful gesture. I can't dispute that. If his heart was in the right place, which I'm sure it was, then Mr. Bonetti could've done this on his own time. In fact, I daresay the gift would've been more special. Instead, it was treated like a prison line-up where you get your clothes and your Bible from the guy behind the desk. Not only is handing them out with yearbooks tacky as hell, it's also inappropriate. Another thing that strikes me is that $1700 is a lot of cash. Would that money not have been better spent by helping a local charity?

The Vanderbilt bound 18-year-old thought it would be a nice gesture to give away
Bibles to students as they picked up their diplomas the day after graduation. I
may not see these people for the rest of my life and this is just one more
opportunity for God to impact them, said Bonetti.

And, here we have it...this wasn't about a gesture between Bonetti and some friends. It's about gathering souls. How egotistical can you be? Mr. Bonetti, if you are reading this, why is it that you think these people would not choose God if it weren't for your presence? If your God exists, then surely that deity could impact people without your sanction, presence, or Bible.

Five minutes into the giveaway, Bonetti was called into the principal's office.
He said 'You can't pass out the Bibles,' said Bonetti. I said, 'What do you
mean? I already got this cleared and everything,' and he said, 'Someone from the
district office called us and we're going to have to stop you from doing it.'

What no one mentions is that other students were calling home and parents were calling the district. These students and parents were uncomfortable with this. I don't blame them! And, if I were a non-Christian student waiting for my yearbook, I would be incredibly annoyed by some holier than though kid offering me a Bible. A student shouldn't have to dodge evangelism in schools. Less than two miles away from Stockdale High School is Bakersfield Christian High School. Go there and hand out Bibles. Heck! I'll drive you! But, doing it in a public school setting during school hours is a bunch of crap. How would it go down if every person receiving a yearbook had to go down a receiving line where they had the opportunity to reject or accept the religious texts of every religion or, let's say, "God is Not Great" by Hitchens? That would be an awfully long line.

The Kern High School District said passing out Bibles violated regulations. John
Teves from the Kern High School District said, Printed material like the Bible
can't be distributed during a school sponsored activity.

For once, the KHSD did the right thing!

We just want there to be a level playing field, said Bonetti. Whether it's me
handing out a Bible, or my friend handing out a Koran, those students have the
right. Teves said the school district wants to re-examine the rule so there's no
confusion next year."

A "level playing field"? A level playing field would've included Mr. Bonetti calling every other religious group in the locale and telling them he was going to give people "one more chance" to accept his God, so maybe they might want to come pass out a Gita', the Koran, a Book of Mormon, The God Delusion, or some other religious text. Hanging out a Bible with yearbooks, where students are forced to make a public display of their faith where they may not want to do so, is NOT A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD!

PSA - Helmets

2008-06-07T23:34:00.000-07:00

I know that not everyone agrees on the necessity of helmet laws (in the United States). But, I wanted to take a moment to tell you about an event that happened seven years ago, today. It was a beautiful day, just like today was, and we'd just moved into this house a few months prior. One of the reasons we bought the house was because it's on a very quiet cul-de-sac street (if you don't know what that means, it's basically a street with no exit and a big, asphalt turn-around circle). We were really keen on letting the kids play outside and do all those things that make childhood fun. But, because I'm pretty neurotic about my kids safety, I never let them get on a bike without a helmet. So,...June 7, 2001. My mom was outside sitting in a lawn chair watching the kids play and ride bikes while I was in the house setting up the nursery (I was pregnant). The nursery was/is at the front of the house with a window that looks out to the street. At some point, the kids decided to ride bikes and I put their helmets on and asked my mom to supervise. All of the sudden, I heard the sickening sound of a child's scream and a loud "THWACK". As I rushed over to the window, I saw that my mom's chair was tipped over and she was running away. I bolted outside and saw P1 screaming and crying. She was pointing across the street towards where my mom was going. P2 was lying on the ground not moving and his bike was several feet away from him. The neighbor's car had a huge scrape on it and the bike was under the back, passenger side tire. Without looking, the neighbor lady had gunned it out of her driveway (she was angry at her husband and in one of those rages where she just wanted to leave). She didn't see P2 because, when he was on his bike, his head barely cleared the top of her trunk. She hit him and the force threw him about six feet from the bumper of her car.

When I got to P2, he was stirring. He had massive road rash on one side and was complaining about his side hurting. But, he was alive and we all breathed a sigh of relief. After checking him for neck and spinal injury, we sat him up and it was then that his helmet fell off. The helmet had cracked completely through. It was only held together by the chin straps and a strip of thick fitting pads. The shell was in half and the paint was gone off one side.

I know some people who say that the fact that the helmet was broke isn't necessarily indicative of the fact that P2 would've had a severe head injury. And, maybe they're right. But, I know what I saw and I know that the helmet was rated to withstand a decent amount of force and it was trashed. P2's head was perfectly fine - just a bit sore. We took him to the ER and they did x-rays. His ribs had some bruising and his road rash was pretty ugly, but he had no head injuries. When I handed the helmet to the doctor, he said that he had no doubt that it had saved him from a serious head injury. I was afraid to ask him to elaborate, but...I got the picture.

So, while I understand that they're inconvenient and take some time to fit correctly, I can't stress how important I think helmets are. Take the two minutes. Spend the $15. If you're an adult, then this choice is yours. But, if you're a parent, please, please, please make sure your child has a helmet on ANY TIME they are riding a bike. A child's head is large in comparrison to their body. They're top heavy. That means they are more likely to sustain head injuries than adults.

As you can see from these pictures from today, P3 and P4 wear helmets even when they're in the bike trailer. They also use wear them on tricycles and bikes. As you can see, P1 is wearing hers. In the words of Nike: Just do it. By the helmet...take the time. Have a safe summer!

*Note: P2 is in St. Louis. No pics of him.

Gay Marriage

2008-06-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

Here in Kern County, there are a significant number of people who look at California's decision to allow gay marriage as the end of the world. It's really quite embarrassing. On the city's newspaper blogs, there are people freaking. the. hell. out. Here's my letter to them (since it would get censored there, I'm putting it here):

Dear "Protectors of family values",
You, dear sir or ma'am, are a hypocrite. You don't give two shits about family values. What you care about is maintaining some sort of moral high ground and holding other people to your narrow-minded definitions of love and marriage.

Some of you have said that this is "changing the definition of marriage". I have to ask what your definition is? I define marriage as: two consenting adults who decide to spend their rest of their lives together, who choose to legalize that union so that they may share the same benefits as other married couples. All Americans should be free to marry who they wish (within the realm of consent and adulthood). Why should we give that right to one group of people and not another? As to the claim that marriage is a purely religious ceremony - bullshit. If that's your argument than you would be out there picketing the marriages of heterosexual atheist couples. Now, I realize that I probably just gave some idiot a new cause, but I would think even a majority of theists would object to banning atheist marriages. Let's hope!

I happen to know four human beings (all wonderful, wonderful people) who have decided to be united to the person they love for the rest of their lives. I didn't have the opportunity to go to their wedding, as one couple took the opportunity to marry when Gavin Newsome opened the courthouse in San Francisco over a Valentine's Day Weekend. The other couple went through a bunch of legal rig-a-ma-role to change their names to the same last name and become as close to a married coupe as they could. Every couple should have the experience of standing before friends and family who are there to support them and wish them love and joy (if that's what they want). I've seen these couples express deep love and I'm happy for them. Each of these couples are now parents and are raising beautiful, unique, wonderful babies. Those babies know love and stability. And, I ache with the knowledge that some bigoted asshole will do everything in their power to show them what hate is. I hope that never comes to fruition.

If you value families, then allow them to come together in all the colors, creeds, shapes, and orientations that they can exist. Support them and you support family values.

And, in closing, if your marriage is so tenuous that living in a state that condones gay marriage is going to "ruin it", then you need to examine the foundations of your marriage. Perhaps that foundation isn't as strong as you think it is.
Sincerely,
PMomma

Shot gunning

2008-06-03T21:17:00.001-07:00

This is going to be a shotgun post (meaning: lots of random topics). As most already know, or have pointed out, there's been a lot of news in my area regarding atheism. The first being the Ford Dealership that ran an ad saying atheists should just "sit down and shut up" because this is America and Ford is an American company. I wrote the company, because I'm interested in the hybrid cars they're making and the ad made me less likely to buy from Ford. I got a response from Ford Corporate that basically said, "We can't control our franchises" and were "investigating the situation". Then, it got weird. The owner of the dealership said, at first, that the ad was ran by mistake. He claimed to have not listened to it in its entirety before it hit the airwaves. But, now he's changed his story. Now, he's saying that he stands by the ad one-hundred percent and people who don't believe in god should "sit down and shut up." He also made a comment about the volume of phone calls he's received during this fiasco. When he was trying to make nicey-nice, he stated that he had received many "pleasant calls from atheists" who just wanted an explanation. Now, of course, he's claiming that he's getting "threatening calls". Know what I think? I think he was shitting his pants over the initial fuss and emails. But, I think that it hit major news venues and he started calls from indignant theists who couldn't wait to slap him on the back and proclaim him a soldier for Christ (or something). I think THOSE calls emboldened him to retract his original apology. And, let's be very frank - if he'd aired an add saying Christians should "sit down and shut up" because we "have a constitution in this country", then he'd have been dodging Molotov cocktails and cross burnings.

The second gem of news from these parts is from the Lancaster area. Debbie Phillips attended a public city council meeting where the issue of putting "In God We Trust" on the wall of city chambers was being discussed. Lancaster waited very patiently and then approached the council to say her piece. Mayor Rex Parris stopped her before she could begin speaking and told her that she was "REQUIRED" to disclose her address (in a public, televised meeting) to the council. She had left the address information on her card (filled out before the meeting) blank because she was taking a position that ruffle feathers. She was told that she could not speak until that information was given. So, she gave it. She then started her statement. Of course, because people in office seem to crap on the constitution they claim to love, the council voted the signs in. And, one would've hoped that Mrs. Phillips could go home, having had her say, and get back to her life. That wasn't in the cards. Following her speech at the meeting, she woke to find that someone had vandalized her house by painting "In GOD We Trust" (emphasis kept as in the vandalism) on the windows and walls. On another window, they had scrawled "In GOD we trust OR...?". The kicker? The Mayor had absolutely, positively no right to demand that she disclose her address during the televised meeting. And, by requiring her to do so IN PUBLIC before speaking, the Mayor violated the law. And, to add insult to injury, the police said that, because it was removable, it would be hard to prosecute. The area's hate crime group is "still investigating to see if this qualifies."
What. The. Fark?
Let's recap: a US citizen gets up to voice her opinion at a city council meeting opposing putting a divisive and unconstitutional motto on public, government property. The putz mayor makes her a target by forcing her to disclose her address or lose her right to publicly object. Her home gets vandalized, while she's inside sleeping, BY HERSELF, and yet...no one does anything to help her?
That's some freeze dried bullshit right there.

Possumgirls graduate

2008-05-29T23:43:00.000-07:00

Today, P1 and P3 had their graduation ceremonies.

P1 graduated from primary school and is moving onto High School (more specifically, "the Academy").

P3 graduated from Kindergarten (in the United States that's the year before Grade 1...mostly five year olds). We're so proud of our girls.

"We do not know of brides younger than 16!" - FLDS Woman

2008-05-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

BULL-to-the-SHIT!

This is Warren Jeffs.

The person he's french kissing was 12 (TWELVE!) when these pictures were taken AT HER WEDDING TO JEFFS!

I'd like to say I'm speechless, but you all know me far better than that. I have a lot to say, including some choice four letter words. But, really...don't the pictures say it all?

Listen up, polygamist, FLDS readers (and I know there are a few who read this blog):

Marrying a hundred women? Fine. Knock yourself out. I'll throw you a bitchen' bridal shower!

But, when that hundredth wife is a CHILD, then you are an accomplice to a felony. You are sanctifying rape! Twelve year old children are not allowed to give consent to sex. EVER! When your religion condones such a union, your religion is fucked up. If you're too blinded to see that, then you need therapy. If you can't fathom how this is wrong, then you don't deserve to be a parent. When you have children, there's an expectation by our society, and I'd argue by biology, that you will protect them. Looking at these pictures makes me sick. SERIOUSLY!! To think of my daughter, 13, being married off to some self-professed Messiah makes me nauseous. And, let's just say, it would NEVER HAPPEN. NEVER! I don't care if God came down and did back flips while juggling fiery bowling pins while singing "I'm God. Worship me!", I'd still tell that God to fuck off if he told me to allow my daughter to marry some old coot with a super-ego. If, as a mother, you find nothing wrong with these pictures, then you have been brainwashed and you're not a fit parent.

My heart breaks for this little girl. At twelve, she should be going to school and learning about the world so that she can make a choice about the woman she will become. She should be gabbing with friends on the school bus and giggling about boys who are cute - not 50 year old, saggy assed men! In my opinion, she's too young to date! Certainly, she's too young to have a geezer macking on her!! For all the bullshit talk of keeping your children innocent, you FLDS sure throw that shit under the bus when it's time for your twelve year old to marry a convicted sexual predator and child molester.

Mormon Strippers?

2008-05-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

ROFLOL!! David, that was priceless. PRICE-LESS.
I just got "punked" (sort of).
The doorbell rang and it was two guys in full LDS missionary gear. Even down to the name tags. One of the "elders" started talking to me about taking a Book of Mormon and I'm standing there saying, "No! I already have one. Thanks!" Then they started going on-and-on about how atheists are evil and on and on and I'm thinking, "They've gone WAY off the script, now!" Then, Elder 1 starts pulling his tie off. Um. WHAT?!?! Then the shirt...WTF?!?

He had "Happy Birthday" written on his chest with Sharpee.

Ow. My stomach hurts.
You win, Dave! And, thank you... that was awesome. I'm sure my eyes were as big as saucers.

Happy Memorial Day

2008-05-26T01:13:00.000-07:00

P2's Boy Scout Troop is responsible for putting flags on the graves of veterans on Memorial Day. We've kind of made this a family event, too. I think community service is very, very important. Throw out differences in faiths or beliefs - it's good to do something for others. The local paper came out to take pictures of the troop (who had to be out there at 6:00am). One of the photographers snapped this pick of our boys.

The caption, in case you can't read it, says:
"Boy Scout Jake Bedell, left, from Troop 712 and his brother Owen work together on placing flags on the veterans' gravesights at Hillcrest Park and Mortuary."

I'm so proud of P2. He's so patient with his little brother. I asked him how long it took to do a row when you let P4 stick the flags in and he said, "About three times as long as normal." Then, he said, "But, it's cool. He kept asking me if he was a "Very Useful Engine" (Thomas the Train reference) and I told him he was. So, we took our time and I let him do it."

Darwinian Sex Festival

2008-05-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

Yes. You read that right. According to poster Gretchen, if you don't follow the fundy interpretation of the Bible when it comes to sexual relations, then you're an animal participant in a Darwinian Sex Festival. To quote Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, "Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout."

Here's the entire text of her comment (from the last post on this blog).

"Do you tell her (P1) the option where God calls her to be virginally chaste
until her wedding night? That is an option most liberal parents forget so as a
result the number of abortions in teen liberals rise. If P1 keeps her baby what
will you do to her? Is she free to do that and perserve life by standing
accountable to God for the sin."

Why would I tell my children to listen to God's advice about sex when I don't believe in God? If P1 decides she wants to wait until her wedding night, then I'd support her. Just because we talk openly about sex doesn't mean I'm handing her a list of guys' phone numbers, an IUD, and a copy of the Kama Sutra.

Please, please show me the statistics that back-up your claims that "liberal" (aka, open minded and honest) parenting leads to a rise in abortions. I've never seen any study that would suggest that. To the contrary, all studies seem to suggest that states who teach abstinence only have higher rates of abortion than those that use a curriculum that includes discussion of birth control.

Your last statement (in this paragraph) is interesting. And, in fact, Pdaddy and I have had this very discussion on numerous occasions. We both realize that mistakes happen. And, we realize that giving our children that choice would include keeping a pregnancy, even if *we* thought it was too soon for our kids to be parents. However, in the end, we came to the conclusion that we will support the decisions they make. And, since we really would like to see our kids have, at the very least, a Bachelors Degree, we would gladly help raise our grandchild to give our kids the education we've promised them. Having a baby or an abortion is nowhere near the end of the world and premarital sex happens. It's not optimal and we're not advocating that the kids go out and get knocked up, but we will be there for our children in whatever capacity they need us.

"You condone teen sex and don't pretend otherwise because it's clear to me what
you will permit."

I don't condone teen sex. I am honest about the possibility, and probability, that shit happens. I can't even say that I would be happy with one of my children having sex in their teens. But, it has nothing to do with some religious code of ethics. I just know that sex is more than a physical action. Optimally, people should go into sex with a great deal of emotional security and mental preparedness. And, I truly believe that children should have goals, besides marrying so they can have sex, that prepare them for a better future. Sex can derail the best laid plans.

Why would anyone stay pure who don't have God's words or testimony? Have a big
Darwin sex festival where you can have sex like animals cause thats all you are teaching
them to be. My children will be acting like ladies and gentlemen because they
are not animals.

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Where can one find these Darwinian Sex Festivals? I'm sure everyone reading this blog wants to know.

Setting a rule is wrong now? As long as a child is in its parents house they
should do what parent says. I say no sex until marriage. You tap dance to make
them feel good. well life is hard. you have to be willing to do the right thing.

Setting limitations and expectations is perfectly reasonable. Hey! It's your house. If you want to make chastity and virginity a "rule", then knock yourself out. I just want to know how you feel it's YOUR right to tell me, or anyone else, what to do in OUR homes. If you believe your God wants you to avoid talking about sex with your kids and threaten them into chastity (which, by the way...doesn't seem to work very well), then have at it.

I would never admit this with pride (have children who could name birth control
techniques). It is horrible that you don't protect their innocence.

Yes. It's horrible that children might take responsibility for their reproductive organs and ways to prevent STDs and pregnancy. Being informed is, clearly, evil. *rolls eyes* I'll go back to using a Barbie and Ken with fig leaves covering their non-existant genetalia as props.

Apologies and sex

2008-05-24T00:44:00.000-07:00

First off, I need to apologize to those in the book discussion group. The last two months have been crazy. And, now crazy in a good way. Since March 21, I have been in and out of the hospital or at a doctor's office every day. If anyone wants to take on the role as co-moderator, please e-mail me. The only criteria is that you've posted here before and I recognize your name.

Now...on to the juicy part of the title. Sex is something we've discussed in this blog before. And, we may have even talked about sex education, but something came up (no pun intended) that makes me want to do another blog on the subject.

I have a reader who wants to remain anonymous and she sent me a copy of the sex education permission slip that her son's school sent home. Her son is a ninth grader (14 years old, I would guess) at a public school in Oklahoma. Here's the text of the permission slip.

Dear Parents/Guardians,
********* *********** district high schools will commence a lecture series for students in the Freshman class on May 25, 2008. The students will here from two representatives from local agencies dealing with sexual relations. ******* ****** from ********Crisis Pregnancy Center and Rev. J ******** will discuss the benefits of abstinence and options and services a sexually active couple may seek out if the need arises. A district health educator will spend approximately twenty minutes at 3:00pm giving an overview of birth control options and sexually transmitted disease by a CNP, ****** **** , from Planned Parenthood. We have scheduled as such so that you may remove your child from school a half-hour before regular dismissal if you do not want your child to participate in the discussion of birth control or STDs. This program is in compliance with state law and President Bush's Abstinence Education Program (2003). Please notate by checking the appropriate boxes on your child's permission slip as to which classes you consent to. Sexual education is not a mandatory lecture. Any student not participating will be sent to the library for study hall. Children who will attend the first two lectures, but not the third, are free to leave campus early with a note from their parent or guardian.
Sincerely,
************ *****
(Principal)

Does anyone else have a problem with this? I know I have several objections. What's up with having a representative from a Crisis Pregnancy Center come in? For those not in the United States, this wiki gives you an overview of what CPCs do. CPCs are always operated by pro-life theists. Always! The goal of these centers is to bring young girls in and make them watch horrific videos of abortion, usually in a room filled with cute pictures of cherubic infants who have been "saved". The emphasis is on finding adoptive parents and encouraging girls to continue the pregnancy. These "centers" are always staffed by volunteers and RARELY, if ever, have a licenced medical practitioner on staff. Yet, the entice these girls to come in with claims of giving them a free test, exam, and counselling. Of course, the following words are never uttered during counselling: "blastocyst", "embryo", and "fetus". The developing organism is always called "the baby". This is manipulative. By convincing a teen aged girl that she's carrying a "baby" creates a powerful feeling of guilt should she desire to end the pregnancy. They usually show a movie called "The Silent Scream" (the link takes you to the actual video). They always give out pamphlets showing aborted fetuses in the second trimester...but, they leave out the fact that the second trimester sample is far different in appearance than the first trimester blastocyst or embryo. In some cases, the material they give out claims that a "baby in the first trimester can feel pain, scream, and cry, during the abortion." Obviously, it's a Christian organization that receives money from Focus on the Family, the Christian Coalition, several Catholic diocese, and - incredibly- the federal government!! In fact, the Southern Baptist Convention has made it a goal to get ultrasound machines in all CPCs so that the girls can be shown the fetal pole and heartbeat of the embryo. Not only is this a complete mind fuck (sorry about the cussing), but it also appears to provide medical advice and procedures without a license.

According to the reader who sent me this permission slip, the Reverend mentioned in the article as a lecturer, is the leader of a local, vocal pro-life group that frequently stands in front of OG/GYN offices and Planned Parenthood. How, exactly, is a Christian minister qualified to come in and give a lecture on pregnancy and STDs? Where his medical degree? Shoot, I'd settle for a nursing degree or even paramedic training. But, to have a prominent pro lifer come in and bully the kids into seeing abortion (or premarital sex) as a one way ticket to hell is crap!

Why is a publicly funded school setting up this "lecture series"? What happened to the separation of Church and State? Leaving only twenty minutes, at the end, to a REAL nurse from an organization that supports the right to choose is a steaming pile of horse shit.

I realize that George Bush is an abstinence only proponent, but the evidence is clear - abstinence only education does not work. (Side note: I wonder if Jenna was a virgin when she married? Somehow, I doubt it.) It results in more pregnancies than programs wherein birth control is discussed in an open and honest manner. AND, PP doesn't try to cram Jesus and the Bible down your throat while they're explaining how a condom works.

As a mother of a teenager, I know that I have an obligation to tell my daughter about all of her options. That's not to say I condone teenage sex. I condone knowledge and choice. How can you expect children to conceptualize the mental, physical, and emotional consequences of sex if you're just going to stand there and say, "Sex...just don't do it." How is that education? P1 and P2 can name you five forms of birth control on demand. But, they also know that I want them to finish up some of their more time consuming goals before becoming parents. I've also talked to them about the way sex can ruin a relationship if both parties aren't mature enough to handle it. We had an hour long conversation on responsibility, should they choose to have sex in high school, and I've told them that I would rather them come to me and ask for help procuring the pill or condoms without judgement. Sex is natural. It's natural for boys and girls to want to connect physically with the people they're attracted to. It's part of life and I can't understand why anyone would turn it into this ugly, pain inducing, immoral act one year, but then consider it a Christian obligation upon the placing of a ring on a finger. How could these young women and men possibly enjoy sex when they've been taught, all their life, to avoid it or suppress the feelings?

BAH! (*$&)@#$